Wouldn't that mean now you'd have to worry about your parents being the critics?

Some parents are cool, others just don't know how to stay out of other people's lives.

Personally I think we should get rid of the whole dowry thing, that $5000 better spent for a nice wedding or to help the couple out.

might as well! in the day and age, it seems hmong women wear the pants so if they want to get married, save up and buy the hubbies.

If you choose to take this route, you better know your relationship with your folks. I have awesome parents who fully understand we're adults and we are to make our own decision.  Like my father always says, they will not be here forever and we need to learn to deal with our problems ourselves. They also gave us the dowry along with additional money from relatives to pay for our 20K wedding. If I had paid for my husband, I think we'd be living 20 times better..LOL! Not that my folks spoil us, but they truly love us and allow us to live as adults. And honestly, I prefer to live on my own but if I could, I would live with my folks only so that the husband and I can take care of them and help them out. They run a business too and I know that extra hand is always needed.

allow her to be the head of the household to make all decisions for the husband, then she'll pay the dowry to take care of the son for the in-laws...perfect aye?...he has to bow down to her with no exceptions...

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. Women thinking because they paid, they are entitled to more. Why not wait until you are both well off and then split the cost. It doesn't have to be one person paying anymore.

Soon you will see women pay dowry.  They will do Mejkoob.   They will return you to your parents.  They will have second husband or third.   

How do you measure a person's worth?

Totally. If he can comply to that than I'll lay my riches on the table and bring my groom home....

I will probably be living with my in-laws when they get up in age.. We live by our self now, but I look forward to living in their house... If we didn't already own our house when we got married, I would have been ok living with them at that time.... My in-laws are pretty awesome and they are very good to me and my wife..I did not pay a dowry to them for their daughter... My MIL said they would be ok with me not paying if we had a Christian wedding...and that's what we wanted anyways....BTW, I am not Hmong

Just because the rules change doesn't mean the primordial behavior of men will. 

I laugh when I hear women think they can change a man's innate ways if they push these rules and laws upon him. The only thing a woman does is shortchange herself. She will be out a husband and cash as well. 

Marry a real man and you'll be fine.   

My mom sure did!  Well she paid for her own wedding cause my dad was poor and his relatives wouldn't do the wedding for them. My grandparents gave my mom away for free too.

This is back in the early 80's so i'm sure the wedding was cheap.

You should have met me 5 years ago.......I already told my MIL that I would like to remodel their house so that me and my wife could live their....Her response was "when you guys Moving in?"........But Im not Hmong so my mom would probably be offended by your fam giving us money

I think that in the future, both the wife and hubby will have to paid for their own wedding.

Reason #1: If the wife runs off and cheats on the hubby, or vise-verse then it's both their lost.

Reason#2: Cause a lot of the new gen. are more meeka type now, and are not afraid of the OG's. So if the marriage goes sour then just go to court and have the meeka people finalize the court paper, and leave the OG's out of their troubles. The OG's has better things to do than be dealing with in little kids and their meeka ways.

reason#3: If hubby pays for the wife, and oh say $9.000 total cost that come out of the hubby side of the family, and later on the marriage goes sour. It's the hubby that loses everything but the ex-wife gains everything, plus child support.

Reason#4: If the hubby ends up not liking the wife for what ever reason he still loses money sending her back to save her face and her family.

You guys see what I'm trying to say here. It's not about you this me that, but when you are marry it's all up to how ever you guys what your life to be. Not no ones but yours alone.
Me and my wife did 50/50. and so I tell all my younger bros and their so call GF or future wife, that they have to do 50/50. other wise there will be jealous among the families. When you do 50/50 before one's going to cheat they will think twice about, cuz it was their own money that they used. not no relatives nor the hubby's family. They just come and eat free food and drink free booze. LOL

How many available Hmong bachelors are worth more than a few bills?

Practically all the Hmong guys I know (College bound or not) still live with their mommy and daddy - along with their unwed brothers and sisters.  Many of them have no long term goals but to afford the next case of beer.  Most aren't even decently groomed and lack any form of social competence at all outside of their immediate social environment.

Groom's price: You pay us to give you our daughter because we know he couldn't get a girl otherwise!

That is pretty rough and stinky.  You are not like that are you?