today..

[magenta]

so much to do today.. then a weekend with the inlaws.. dear Lord. please PLEASE please let there be no drama. gonna miss the kids dearly.. 

[magenta]

I need a drink right about now. Ok.. Maybe 10.

[magenta]

I need a new start. People say i should appreciate what i have. What if its not what i want? I dont like to settle.. Especially for something less. I know theres many that i will hurt.. But i cant live this lie no longer. Action plan needs to be thought out and executed.

[magenta]

Well what is it that you want to change?

action plan not thought out yet.. will say once it is.  but i will say... the in laws are driving me INSANE!!!!!!

[magenta]

So I'm guessing with your hint, you want to leave your spouse if he/she doesn't take you away from the in laws?

they will never be taken out of the picture.. just need to throw them in line 

Did you see them do the Hawk-Eagle dance?

did not.. but i did see the oldies do their "rave" moves.. 

[magenta]

feels like im loosing my mind. need to think positive... POSITIVE! dammit!!!! 

[magenta]

today WILL be a good day!! 

[magenta]

not too sure if i should feel bad. ok. i  lie. i feel bad.

regardless if your mom is a bi.tch.. today should be a day that you set everything aside and do something nice. even if she has done nothing for you. maybe its the way i grew up.. always been pretty close to my mom. i guess i dont understand. 

[magenta]

*Just about to say hi...but tip toeing away...*

 

dont be scared.. i only bite when you want me to 

[magenta]

I hope you DO say that to your hubby, yes?   

no. for him.. i just bite!

[magenta]

so she came over. cried that nobody did or say anything to her for mothers day.. wanted to hug and tell her im sorry. but she wouldve pushed me away.. there was no point since im not apart of her family.. according to her. left the hub to handle it.. like always. i dont know how else to deal with her. frustrated.. hub tells me not to think too much abou it.. cant help it. 

[magenta]

Mm

[magenta]

im done. wednesday would be the day 

[magenta]

A little nervous but determined.. I can and will do it! Lols..

[magenta]

came home around 11pm the other night after dinner with a gf. everyone was sleeping so i didnt turn on the lights. locked the door and when i turned around.. saw a dark silhouette that i thought was the hub. he just stood there.. thought the hub was trying to scare me. i tried slapping his stomach like i always do.. nothing. i walked forward and tried to push him out of the way.. nothing. then i ran for the lights and turned it on.. nobody. the hairs on my back stood up. i walked to our bedroom and the hub was knocked out by the way he was breathing. took a shower and went to bed. weird cause i didnt feel scared... hmmm...