Peachy Fish
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Life is complicated, but so beautiful.
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« on: April 29, 2010, 02:47:06 PM » |
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If you're a guy who plans on marrying in the future to a Hmong chick, are you paying the bride dowry with your own hard-earned cash or will you be like the majority of the Hmong guys and ask your parents or family to help pay for you?
I know so many boys who married so young, but the majority of them had their parents pay for the dowry. I know boys who just take their girls home without consulting their parents first, only to find out their parents aren't able to pay any dowry right then. When I do have kids, I'm going to tell them: if you want to marry, you better have the money for this wedding and to live on your own.
Seriously, the way I look at it, if the boy or girl feels that they're ready for marriage, they should make their own money and pay for the dowry themselves. What do you think?
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« Last Edit: April 29, 2010, 03:23:52 PM by Peachy Fish »
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good-in-deed
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« Reply #1 on: May 02, 2010, 07:24:32 PM » |
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hm.. i know someone who had to pay for the dowry and his wedding all by himself because he wanted to marry her, but his parents didn't really like her for some particular reason, not sure what it was.
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jbutton
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« Reply #2 on: May 04, 2010, 02:13:01 PM » |
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I will probably pay 90% and leave 10% for my parents to pay. I don't want to leave them out and make them feel that I no longer need them.
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Jesus vs Buddha: I'm sure Jesus can beat Buddha.. Jesu scan slap the Buddha with his sandals. Then cover Buddha's head with his skirt. Buddha will be terrified.
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Copyright
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« Reply #3 on: May 04, 2010, 02:19:06 PM » |
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Well part of the tradition is that the parents pay for the son's wedding, because it's their role to start the son's life away. Now if I have a son who can afford his wife on his own, then that's a plus for me, but I wouldn't just sit there and force him to save money first before getting married.
On the other hand, I would encourage him to have a job and be able to support two mouth before considering marriage.
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Peachy Fish
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Life is complicated, but so beautiful.
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« Reply #4 on: May 05, 2010, 08:48:50 AM » |
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I completely understand that it's tradition to provide the son w/a wife, but I feel it's time for a change.
If my son works at a place earning only $8/hr, there is no way that I'm going to help him pay dowry, because I know that he cannot afford to even feed himself. I don't want to help him subject another being to a life full of hardships.
Plus Hmong teenagers take their parents' gift of dowry for granted...many of them don't understand how hard it's for the parents to earn that money. Just to make Hmong teenagers appreciate their parents' gift and marriage more, I think that Hmong parents should think twice about giving up the entire dowry amount for their sons. They should make their sons earn it.
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« Last Edit: May 05, 2010, 08:51:44 AM by Peachy Fish »
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beester
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« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2010, 08:49:46 AM » |
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I don't believe in the dowry process and will abolish it when I become a parent. I will not require a dowry with my kids. It just isn't right in my mind. The thought behind it is pretty solid, but these days it's all about the money. You just have to believe that your daughter chose her groom for a reason and that their happiness is all that matters.
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