Man gets 8 years for raping wife
Victim was 12 when husband abducted her for Hmong cultural marriage

By Bruce Vielmetti of the Journal Sentinel

A Milwaukee man convicted of sexually assaulting his wife, who was 12 when he abducted her into a Hmong cultural marriage in 1991, was sentenced Monday to at least eight years in prison.

The case of Thaying Lor, 43, drew nationwide attention among Hmong-Americans, who feared it could lead to unfair judgment of their culture and an upsurge in Hmong wives making similar claims years after their weddings.

Circuit Judge Kevin Martens, who presided at Lor's weeklong trial in December, called it one of the most difficult he'd seen, "given the number of issues I'm asked to consider on both sides."

Prosecutors and advocates for victims of domestic violence sought much tougher punishment, while Lor's counsel and Hmong-American groups and individuals who sent dozens of letters recommended probation.

The case began when a bailiff overheard the victim testify in her divorce early last year about how she was kidnapped, raped and essentially sold into marriage at age 12. The victim never wanted to involve police out of respect for the Hmong culture, but the bailiff alerted law enforcement and Lor was charged 10 days later.

The woman, now 32, has a different last name than Lor and is not being identified because she is the victim of a sexual assault. She remains in the Milwaukee area, where she is raising the couple's six children.

In a letter to Martens, she said she did not feel safe appearing in person because she and her family have been subjected to ridicule, ostracism and threats, including on Hmong radio stations.

"They have threatened to hunt me down like a squirrel in the woods," she wrote.

She asked that he sentence Lor to prison as a message to other abused Hmong women who lack the courage to come forward.

Martens spoke for 90 minutes Monday before announcing the sentence. He stressed repeatedly that case should not be seen as only "the Hmong marriage" case, but considered for Lor's specific behavior.

"It would be wrong for anyone to take this as an indictment of the Hmong community as a whole," he said.

The victim testified at trial that she came here from Laos in 1989. Two years later, when she was 12, Lor used the promise of a trip to the mall to lure her to a house where she was essentially kidnapped and raped. Later, they were wed at a Hmong marriage ceremony after negotiations among their family members. Her mother testified at Lor's trial that the girl's parents accepted a $3,000 dowry.

Lor's wife began having children while still in middle school, and Martens called it stunning that no intervention or referrals were done then.

"It's clear one or more people neglected their responsibiliti es," he said.

Martens noted that when Lor met his wife, both had been in the U.S. only about two years and marriage of such young girls was common in the old country. He also took into account that Lor had no other criminal record, provided for his family and was not a "quintessential predator."

But by 2005 and 2007, when Lor forcibly raped his wife and attempted to, ignorance of American law or custom could no longer be considered a mitigating factor, Martens said.

Lor was convicted of six charges, four under older state law and two under current law. For the initial assault, in 1991 when the victim was 12, Martens sentenced Lor to eight years. He would have to serve a minimum of two years before being considered for parole. He would have to be paroled after serving two-thirds of the sentence.

For sexual assaults that led to the birth of the couple's first three children, Martens imposed probation.

For a second-degree sexual assault in 2005, Lor was sentenced to four years, followed by eight years of extended supervision. For an attempted assault in 2007, he was given two years in prison plus four years of extended supervision. All the prison terms were consecutive, and Lor was given credit for 466 days he's been in jail since his arrest.

Lor's attorney, Benjamin Gallagher of St. Paul, Minn., said they planned to request a new trial and appeal if Martens denies the request.

How do they know her real age? Was she really 12 years old? It is hard to understand how they can say that she was 12 years old at the time without even knowing her real birthdate if she was born in Laos. Maybe, her real age was like 16 or 18 but her parents just guess her age to be 12 years old.  I know a few people who told me their parents just made up their birthdate when they were coming to the USA.  I dont know this story doesn't make sense to me. How can a wife stay with her husband for all these years and never file for divorce as she got older and get out of the relationship if she was that scare of him but instead call it a rape case after all these years.

It's sad but at the same time hopefully it teaches ppl to change their ways.

NEVER!!!! 

he must have a mistress back in Lao. They have 6th kids and now she call it rape? claim to say she doesn't have the guts to get help. PLease! Dumb woman! Make me look dumb along with her.

Anyone knows her? How she feeling now? Is she much happier knowing he's behind bar because she was jealous of his mistress. Come on women, there's so many Hmong women go through worst case. Suck it up and get a divorce, move on! Revenge is not the answer! Think about what that will do to your kids? I do wonder how the kids feel about all this.

Peb cov txiv neej ces thaum twg swb cai ces tua tibneeg xwb.  Cia nws mus nyob kom siab nqeg mam li tawm los.  Yog tsis li ntawd ces tsam ho muaj niamtxiv sib tua dua.  Mus nyob xyoo puav, tawm los mam li nrhiav dua.

Txog txij sib nrauj ces twb nyob los tsis zoo dab tsi lawm es cia nyias mus nyias.  Tiamsis yog tus txiv tsis txaus siab no ces cia nws mus nyob ib leeg kom txawj xav tso.  Ob leeg nyob ces ib tug kawg tuag xwb.

and ALL YOUR DADDYS WILL BE LOCKED UP TOO...cause i'm 99% sure they got married under 17-16 also...just ask your momma...

Lawv hais tias "qab teg ua qaum teg" tej zaum yog lis no.  Yuav sib foob dab tsi, yuav muab ib tug coj mus kaws e yus lub siab thiaj nqig lov. Yog tsi sib yuav lawm kuj hais kom nyias nyob nyias, nyias ua nyias neej.  4-8 tus menyuam lawm e yeej muaj qhov zoo zoo thiab phem mentsi lawm..tiam sis sib hlub

This news is one of the biggest joke in our hmong society.  I say...FAWK THIS BIATCH!!!  Rape...hahahah a...funny one.  After all this time of marriage...RAP E!!!  Man, if only I knew her.

I fear that once he comes out, she'll be even more doomed! Don't you agree?

marriage doesnt exclude that rape is possible...... ..if shes not in the mood, and he takes it anyways, still rape

There must have been much more tension between the couple that is not on the news. For one good reason, I think the judge and other agencies supporting the claim want to make Thaying Lor an example for the Hmong. This judgement might just open a can of worms, who knows. Almost most marriages prior to the mid 90s were early marriages. During good time, nothing. But during bad time, any married woman from before the year 2000 can easily file such claim against the husband. I think some Hmong women need to be more educated to understand the consequence of being a neurotic wife.

According to what I read, this guy has been a hardworking and supportive father to his family, and the trouble started after he returned from his trip to Laos. I wonder what was going on prior to his trip to Laos? Family problems don't just happen. They start small and accumulate over time.

About the kids (who are the products of rapes), I don't know. Some might feel bad. Some might go against the father. Some might go against the mother. Some will learn to bury to whole thing. Life is going to be toughed living among the Hmong community but some will make it through.

In a letter to Martens, she said she did not feel safe appearing in person because she and her family have been subjected to ridicule, ostracism and threats, including on Hmong radio stations.

"They have threatened to hunt me down like a squirrel in the woods," she wrote.

She asked that he sentence Lor to prison as a message to other abused Hmong women who lack the courage to come forward.

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Someone should even start going after her parents too.  I understand being rape in her situation because she refused at that time but come on...........6 kids together and sticking around for all these year and now just want to get out of the marriage because she found a "d" or something better out there that is using that against him.  I hate everything about the Hmong culture but at the same time I learn to accept it in some way.

If it was not for the Hmong culture then we Hmong woman will just be like those Black and Mexican who is out there popping babies left and right and having different dad.  At least with the Hmong culture....... .were nto abandon out on the street and the kids have a father whether legally married or not on paper but at least we get the respect and the chance to build a life for our kids and not make it tough for them in some way and being look upon as a slut, single mother, etc.

If this husband of her was fooling around with another mistress then I guess she could have just leave him and move on but to make this case look so bad so other Hmong woman out there will have the courage to come forward....... ......   

Whatever dude.  Whatever white boy.