distressKing
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« Reply #15 on: August 23, 2010, 12:38:22 AM » |
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that i don+ want to take care, babysit, cook, feed, bathe, entertain, wait hand and feet, worry about his able grandmother and mother anymore. my work, my life is too precious to slave around unappreciative cruel people. i want to tell my hubb that ten year of this taking care crap have shorten my life severly. im now at a stage where i want to say 'f u' and i never did use that b4. i want to tell my hubb that the rest of the fam sucks and they can start takin care of granny and their parents. i want to tell him..im done. but im afraid he'll leave me because i can no longer take care of his family. what the hell do i do?
 It's called being a House wife... You're not slaving if you're cooking and cleaning... it's comes with the marriage...  Hey.. I got to slave for random people, no matter how much i do they just don't appreciate me... too... But I do it anyways.. because it's called a JOB>>>.. SUCK IT UP, LIFE IS TOUGH> LIVE IT HARD or DIE quietly  |
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Ron Burgundy
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« Reply #16 on: August 23, 2010, 12:42:57 AM » |
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This is exactly why white ppl move as far away as possible from their immediate family and only visit on holidays, if even that.
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RIP GVP
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Missterious
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« Reply #17 on: August 27, 2010, 01:14:18 AM » |
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why stress over such small triffles. they are old. they only have few years left. just ignore that they do not appreciate it... soon they will croak and you'll be stress free. so i don't see the point in leaving your hubby.... what you are doing... all the caring you are doing is only temperary
when you're in a situation like this it's seems like the old never die. by the time they finally do you would have wasted precious time. |
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I shall call you squishy and you shall be my squishy ^^
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drEamer
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« Reply #18 on: August 27, 2010, 07:48:10 PM » |
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u should tell him
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Yeah I keep dreaming
that I have it all
I'm always waiting
for that something more
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shampoo
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« Reply #19 on: September 01, 2010, 04:20:12 PM » |
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thanks 4 all your replies. appreciate your feedbacks.
btw to clear some stuff up, no i am not a house wife. i actually work. lol and no, i don't get paid to watch the elders, i don't think any1 should get paid to watch or take care of their own family members. no, i don't live with them. they come over everyday after work. no, i don't hate them. just that there are so many things they do to me to make me very very sad. kuv lub siab mob heev thiab kuv muaj kev tu siab ntau yam rau lawv but i just brush it aside, and keep helping.
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MilesDaddy
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« Reply #20 on: September 02, 2010, 12:39:29 PM » |
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tell your husband how you feel...maybe he can help work something out.....If he leaves, he didn't have your back anyways
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yajmafia
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« Reply #21 on: September 02, 2010, 01:01:07 PM » |
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I say if he leaves you, its for the better.
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-"FAITH" makes all things possible. "LOVE" makes all things easy. "HOPE" makes all things work. Aaron Chavez, FB
Thanks Wind!
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Funny Face
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« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2010, 12:49:42 PM » |
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I think the most important thing to remember is that this is HIS family.
Then talk to him. And move further away...across town or something. So you're close enough to be there when they need you but far away enough to have enough breathing room.
But you should really talk to him.
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b_rod
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« Reply #23 on: September 21, 2010, 10:36:16 PM » |
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Just say it nicely. If he even cares, you won't have a problem. COMPROMISE if not then leave the loser. I thought this was basic knowledge?  |
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2) Religon can't be proven.
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sprite
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« Reply #24 on: October 20, 2010, 09:42:49 PM » |
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Actually, I find it easier to be honest when you start looking at the spouse's family as your own. Real family say real things without apprehension. Just tell them you're too overwhelmed and the work is gonna have to be divided. It's not like you're being evil, just being honest before you really can't take it anymore and do or say something abrasive. Don't be afraid to be the lady of the house/lady of your husband's family. Ntshai ntshai ua niam ces kawg ua lawv qhev ntsiag to. As long as you are not doing this out of malice then they got nothing on you.
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mS-bLoNdiE-mOmEntS
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« Reply #25 on: October 20, 2010, 11:04:44 PM » |
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Taking care of someone is a lot of work. I understand how you feel, but if your husband is not manly enough to speak up for you, they'll treat you like shit. Its true that now you feel unappreciated. Talk to your husband privately when the two of you are in a good mood. Tell him how you feel about all these responsibiliti es that you been having.
If you want to leave him, they'll blame it all on you. Think before you take action.
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yamaha
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« Reply #26 on: October 21, 2010, 12:16:52 AM » |
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that i don+ want to take care, babysit, cook, feed, bathe, entertain, wait hand and feet, worry about his able grandmother and mother anymore. my work, my life is too precious to slave around unappreciative cruel people. i want to tell my hubb that ten year of this taking care crap have shorten my life severly. im now at a stage where i want to say 'f u' and i never did use that b4. i want to tell my hubb that the rest of the fam sucks and they can start takin care of granny and their parents. i want to tell him..im done. but im afraid he'll leave me because i can no longer take care of his family. what the hell do i do?
been there done that..be patient..it's a lot of stress and frustration plus the hubby gotta help you too..and these family folks here gotta help around..it's not all up to you only...don't blame the granny and the old folks..they're old and they start turning to baby..one little thing you say can be very hurtful and make them depressed they don't want to feel being alone...just put on some hmong movies and feed them good food and they'll be quiet for sure....this shouldn't be contagious towards your marriage life..he'll understand and won't leave you..if he can't be a man to deal with it and solve the issue then there's gonna be some problems and the options i'm going to give you for the way out is... 1)the fam has to take turn to help(unless if you're doing IHSS for the granny and parents) it's your job..the fam will do whenever they can to help because it's their parents and granny too... 2)everybody don't want to take care of all three of them then it's Retired nursing home for all three of them.. everyone follows this route especially if they have old parents and granny with them... |
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10009 post offically retired..
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BCSPKKTM
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« Reply #27 on: October 21, 2010, 09:23:08 AM » |
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If you married a man whose intention in marriage is to have a woman take care of his family, wake up...you knew that when you married him. Putting up with them is a part of the package no matter how hard or miserable it makes you. If you can't even tell your husband how you feel about things, what kind of marriage do you have anyways? You should be able to tell him straight up that you're stressed and you need some time away from his mom/grandma..somebody needs to look after them sometimes. If that's going to make him love you less, that is pretty sad. And another thing...people say "they are old and going to die soon anyways" hahahah yeah right. Not everyone is married to a man whose parents are in their 70s and 80s with all sorts of health issues. The life expectancy in the USA is 76-78 years old now. You may have to put up with them for 30 to 40 years. If you ask me, that is a very very long time if they are very difficult unless you have nothing better to do w/your life. |
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Eyedumgai
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« Reply #28 on: December 07, 2010, 08:46:53 PM » |
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My family lives in another state, so they don't get as much help from us as they would like. But her family is in town and despite having their sons doing nothing around the house all day long, us "vauv's" still go around helping our in-laws with anything they need. They need only ask and we don't hesitate to help with our strengths and back. She may express her reservations at times about helping all the time, as do I, but I think life is more rewarding if you are looked upon to help.
Although I don't know your whole situation, I think you should be glad that you are blessed with such a big family that looks upon you as a trusted source of care and love. Best of luck!
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VillainousHero
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Villain or Hero
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« Reply #29 on: December 08, 2010, 07:12:00 PM » |
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If he wants to leave, let him leave. Good ridance.
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The real villain is looking at you. The last hero was just not true.<br />If everything works out in the end. It's because all things make amends.
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