Question for the Hmong Men (in the U.S): 1

[moonangel]

1.  What do you find challenging in your life right now at your age?  I want to understand how you deal with work, family, society, culture, etc.  A few sentences would work fine or if you have a lot on your mind/a lot to explain, feel free.

[Please don't attack anyone verbally, make up stuff, or be rude.  Always respect everyone's response. Thanks]

[moonangel]

Work bores me. Currently trying to find a better job with benefits that I don't have. I want to go to school,  but I have to pay the bills. Wondering if I could seriously juggle school and a full time job. Currently a 25U 25C and 13E. Trying to pick up 35B. It pays well, as well as sending me to CA for language classes. Want to deploy, but haven't told anybody. Also the middle child, yet great things ate expected from me. Sometimes I have doubts or times I think I can. I am a bad influence   more?

tomato, thanks so much for your response!  So, what did you mean by "great things are expected of me"?  Do you mean culturally or financially?  What's your relationship like with your dad?  Is he the one putting the pressure on you?  Do you feel any weight from the culutre...like you are expected to live up to something within the Hmong community?  How old are you btw...or ball park?

What kinds of doubts do you have?  Are they related to doubts about being a Hmong man and what is expected of you?  Or is this just a general doubt? Or both?

[Darkplanetasia]

1.  What do you find challenging in your life right now at your age?  I want to understand how you deal with work, family, society, culture, etc.  A few sentences would work fine or if you have a lot on your mind/a lot to explain, feel free.

[Please don't attack anyone verbally, make up stuff, or be rude.  Always respect everyone's response. Thanks]

my biggest challenge at the moment is myself. honestly. i have an addiction and i need to kick its butt...j/k i'll answer serious later. brb teehee *farts*

OVER!

[Xeemxai]

I would say take it simple! Know who you are and what you can do for these daily lives

[slude]

at 30, my biggest challenge (fear) is hmong kev cai dab qhuas; wedding tradition, shamanism ritual, cultural gathering, and funeral rituals.

how, where to start...what to do...

[HmongKnight]

Money is the most challenging in my life. The bible teaches me not to worship both money and God at the same time. You can only worship one of them. I put too much time worshipping God and not enough time to make money. Therefore, I get God but not money. I believe that I can be rich fast if only I leave God and worship Money. But that's gonna be the hardest part to do as a human being.

[joot]

As an older guy than most PH'er in here, I have a few concerns, mainly raising (teaching) my kids and quality time with wife and family.  It used to be that money was a priority but that has changed.  With wife and I working separate shifts, it's hard making time to be together with her and the kids.  Quality time seems to be most important to me right now.  Jobs come and go but family, relatives, friends will grow distant if no quality time is spent together.  Another thing, teaching the kids to grow in the Lord is very important to me as well.  It's a "free gift" that I can give to my kids.  "Walk in the ways of the Lord and He will direct thy paths..." sounds like good advice to me.  As you grow older,  your field of view gets wider...

[rosee]

Culturally, but ill leave that for next time.

 I’m currently turning 24. Either way you look at it I am old, and will always get older. I live away from my parents, it’s hard but I think I like it.

 Growing up as the middle child my dad would always detest me. My father always said I was a mistake constantly, while my mother always defended me. After I went to the military, only then had my father actually stop beating or cursing me.

First off, you can leave all you want.  There's only TWO things that I ask that you do for me before you leave.  But since you are so afraid of commitment that you can't even DO IT!  So why am I still wasting my time with this HMONG MEN right here?  You're turning 24!  I'm already 26!  I tell you all the time, I can't wait forever, but yet I do.  If you're only going to waste my time and not tell me what you really think and feel inside, then tell me already that you're not ready.  Because I keep going around in circles, thinking that something's gonna happen when it's not! 

And yes, I've already told you this before and I will always keep telling you this.  Your dad is a piece of crap.  He hated you from birth, but only when he saw the MONEY that you can bring to the household did he ever started to pretend to care!  What does he give you when you visit?  Or what does he ONLY ask you when we go over to his place?  "Take me out to eat!"  "Pay this bill!"  "Give me money!"  So there you have it.  I guess you won't believe what I tell you, but can face the fact of someone else telling you the ugly truth. 

[slude]

are you two a couple?

[rosee]

are you two a couple?

At least that's what I thought.  All I ever get is that I don't ever listen.  But when I do ask for his opinion I don't get an answer besides, "Do what you want!"  How can I "do what I want" when I want him to be apart of my decisions.

[homersexual]

At least that's what I thought.  All I ever get is that I don't ever listen.  But when I do ask for his opinion I don't get an answer besides, "Do what you want!"  How can I "do what I want" when I want him to be apart of my decisions.

And the evil old hag rears its ugly head. You wonder why...

wow...and this, folks, is why you don't date PH people...or let them know of your PH addiction. 

[jbutton]

1.  What do you find challenging in your life right now at your age?  I want to understand how you deal with work, family, society, culture, etc.  A few sentences would work fine or if you have a lot on your mind/a lot to explain, feel free.

[Please don't attack anyone verbally, make up stuff, or be rude.  Always respect everyone's response. Thanks]

1.  Losing weight is a challenge.
2.  Speaking in your non native language everyday is tough.
3.  People don't realize how hard the work you do and so their demands are unreasonable.
4.  Finishing school is a challenge.

That's my share.

[moonangel]

at 30, my biggest challenge (fear) is hmong kev cai dab qhuas; wedding tradition, shamanism ritual, cultural gathering, and funeral rituals.

how, where to start...what to do...

Slude, I was thinking that what you said would be on most Hmong men's mind.  I think you are right in that those questions really creep up on you when you hit your 30's.  I'm sure they may have crossed your mind when you were younger but you were probably a bit too young to worry or think about it then. 

Do you think you can be that person to follow the Hmong kev cai?  Do you feel any pressure of doing it right (not only for yourself but the pressure of the community and your family)? 

Culturally, but ill leave that for next time.

 I’m currently turning 24. Either way you look at it I am old, and will always get older. I live away from my parents, it’s hard but I think I like it.

 Growing up as the middle child my dad would always detest me. My father always said I was a mistake constantly, while my mother always defended me. After I went to the military, only then had my father actually stop beating or cursing me.

tomato, the point of my post is really about how you see and deal with the culture.  So, yeah, if you can share thoughts about it, I'd like to listen and learn.

I'm sorry your dad was not the greatest dad.  But that aside, how involved in the Hmong community (the one you and your family are around) do you think you'll be?  Not now but in the future...say, in your 30's and then early 40's.

[moonangel]

1.  Losing weight is a challenge.
2.  Speaking in your non native language everyday is tough.
3.  People don't realize how hard the work you do and so their demands are unreasonable.
4.  Finishing school is a challenge.

That's my share.

jbutton, so you feel that you have a hard time speaking hmong and that you do your best at work and for your family and yet, you don't get the respect you deserve?

How do you want people to treat you?  How do you want to be known to your family and community?  Do you get along with your Dad?  If you do, do you look up to him or do you see him as leading the way for you to be a leader? 

[slude]

*