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Author Topic: luvly....is she really?  (Read 224069 times)

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Offline luvlylisa

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luvly....is she really?
« on: October 21, 2010, 01:27:55 PM »
yeah yeah...I used to keep a journal.  It was very therapeutic for me.  And when I was abroad it was my life-almost.  I blogged just about everywhere as well.  However, in the last few years I've actually "dropped" my pen and haven't really bothered to "write". 

In retrospect things have been mediocre in the past few years.  Yes, things could be a TON better...but some things I just can't control.  I've come to find myself analyzing a lot (just part of my personality as well) and many of the times it's really depressing.  However, I can't let things get to me...especiall y now.  So I have to knock through these "walls" and get through it all.  I could sit and moan and cry about it (and at times I do) but luckily I have great ppl around me who luv and support me. 

In the past year I've really come to know myself and discover who I really am.  I've grown a lot and I've still more growing to do.  I'm not that little girl who would just sit and take the jabs.  Now, I'll freakin' look u in the eyes and not only blatantly tell you what I think of you but if need be, I'll counter u with a nice upper cut!  "Kapow!"  Take that b|tch!  Now step aside please...watch it with the blood...it's a new coat mang!

So yes, I'm as luvly as luvly can be!   8)




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可爱的丽莎。。。爱我还是恨我

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #1 on: October 21, 2010, 02:10:53 PM »
 O0



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2010, 05:07:29 PM »
trying to concentrate on work...but my life keeps interfering.  I can't run away from it all....but I honestly don't want to deal with it either.  It's times like these that I wish I had a magic wand and wave it like so...and *poof* it's all done with.  Unfortunately that's just not possible and this weekend I've to prep the papers and hopefully get things "laid out on the table" and finalize things. 

Honestly, it's not so much that I don't want it to happen-I think it's time.  But I just don't want to physically do it.  I mean it's emotionally draining as it is already....but in the end I know it's best for everyone and we'll all be more sane than we are now. 

Lisa, just think happy thoughts....ha ppy thoughts.....h appy thoughts.....h appy thoughts and you'll be fine.



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可爱的丽莎。。。爱我还是恨我

Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #3 on: October 22, 2010, 05:25:36 PM »
writing in journals help me get through my tough times. hang in there sweetie. :)
awww....thanks. i appreciate it.



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #4 on: October 24, 2010, 01:17:11 PM »
another gloomy day.  gee, what more could I possibly ask for?  rain, rain, go away-PLEASE!

Each day it gets colder and colder.

but eventually rainbows are ahead....and hopefully I'll get me a pot of gold as well.  that, or i find that darn leprechaun. 



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #5 on: October 25, 2010, 12:54:16 PM »
Thankfully I'm feeling a lot better today. 

As I was leaving he was asking me all sorts of questions.  I honestly just wanted to club him over the head and head off to work-but that would be wrong.  I answered what I could/wanted and left.  I just don't understand why ppl would tell u, or ask u to do something and go and then question what ur doing.  Just doesn't make sense and it really irks me!!! 

Anyway...I need to focus today at work.  It's going to be a busy week with the kids....tutori ng, picking them up, dropping them off, interviewing some new applicants, and then going on a few college visits as well this week!  That's not even it....I've to meet with the lawyer and get all this crap done as well!  OMG, Halloween weekend, it'll be me, myself, and I.  Thank goodness!!! 

Urgh....back to work.



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2010, 11:43:29 AM »
...it's sad when you have to go to the office to "get away" from things.  Well, might as well get some work done too since I'm here.


*sigh*  the world keeps turning and sometimes you stare off into the distance thinking where did time go?  how did things get like this?  did we all see this coming and just didn't want to admit it-accept it even?  things like this aren't suppose to happen.  you weren't suppose to be like that....she wasn't suppose to have said that to make you do that and say that to us.  and now everyone is hurt, confused, frustrated, bitter, and disappointed.

well, I hope you are happy with your decision(s).  it was obvious that my/our happiness wasn't relevant to you...wasn't important.  damn right we're upset...what else can you expect?  but know this....karma is a biatch!  it's not a threat, it's reality.  you think it's so easy to open as many doors as you want and shut whichever ones you feel necessary.  i'm simply saying....once you turn your back....shut this door.  it is definitely an exit!  i'm sorry....do u not see the "DO NOT ENTER" sign?  but above all.....rememb er this: YOU chose to leave, WE didn't tell you to.  so stop your "pity me" cries and suck it up!  (b the "man" that you said you are....however in my eyes, you will never be the man you once were.)



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #7 on: November 04, 2010, 04:06:37 PM »
it's been quiet lately and in a sense things have settled.  the holidays are coming up and once again this year it'll be tight for everyone.  I'm not expecting much in all aspects in my life right now.  Honestly, I'm simply looking to get through to tomorrow....th at's all I need and that's all I'm asking for.

awwkk....just a few more hours and I can go home...or do nothing.



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #8 on: November 05, 2010, 02:44:46 PM »
urgh...it's the weekend and I've to work tomorrow.  thankfully it won't be all day...just a few hours. 

I've to go take care of some "things" today...hopefu lly it'll all be squared off so I don't have to worry or deal with it anymore.

I'm ready....ready to move on and get work on me for a change. 



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #9 on: November 07, 2010, 07:33:34 PM »
for some reason I'm really tired today...no exhausted.  my whole body....it's like drained and I was nothing but sluggish today.  I'm kind of hoping I'm not sick.  That would completely suck especially since I've so much to do at work this week.  I should have just stayed in bed all day today and not done anything....bu t unfortunately my mom would never let me get away with that.  I should really invest in getting a lock for my room. 




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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #10 on: November 08, 2010, 11:11:13 PM »
please just leave me alone...I've already enough things to worry about can't you tell?  Why do u keep coming around?  U know how stressed I am already...plea se....stick ur big nose elsewhere and be gone  *poof*!!!



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #11 on: November 10, 2010, 02:38:36 PM »
one thing at a time please.....

thus far I think things are going alright.  I wake up every morning and am able to walk, talk, and move this darn thing of a body around...so I am blessed.  Thanks, for yet another day. 



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #12 on: November 12, 2010, 05:51:36 PM »
it's been a long day....but I'm about to join the girls for some yummy qhob poob and egg rolls. yummy!  nothing new as of recent.

perhaps go to a bday dinner this weekend for one of my gf's bday.  otherwise I've nothing planned....bee n laying low for a while...it's been nice not going out lately.  i kind of need a break....from everything.



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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #13 on: November 14, 2010, 06:29:15 PM »
So I'm now sick...nothing serious, just a minor cold.  Actually right now I've got me a nice headache!  Thanks to someone's thoughtfulness I've to run to get me some theraflu.  My mom was mad at me bc I've been "lazy".  I wish I could sleep in, but that's just couldn't happen-and I had to do my laundry today.  

Turkey day is coming up and my lil sis and bil will be here soon.  I'm excited but at the same time, we're all going to be pretty busy.  Thankfully I'm going to ask off for a few days-well, I'm thinking about it at least.  We're suppose to get some family pictures done as well...we'll see.  

I'm glad that I'm not stressed as I was a few months ago.  But turn one leaf to only find more cobwebs and spiders lurking underneath, I swear!  It's not hard, just complicated and frustrating.  Many times I just want to throw my hands up and say screw it.  But I know in my heart I can't do that.  

*sigh* it's funny how busy I am and how forgetful I've been lately....rega rdless somehow, some way-I find myself thinking about you.  I probably shouldn't be...and maybe it's naive of me to even think of u in such a way.  You'd figure someone as old as I-would not get so giddy-like a lil school girl but there's just something about you.  I'm not going to let it get to this dear head of mine.  It is what it is, whatever that may be.  For now, it's like a cute puppy....somet hing that brightens up this dark hole of mine...somethi ng that makes me smile and forget about all my worries-even if it's for a second.  I thank you for that...because some days I feel like I'll never crawl out of this dark hole...and sometimes I feel like I'll eventually get buried alive.  There's no one to save me....but myself.  So even though you don't know it, I appreciate your existence-even if you go throughout your day huffing and puffing about your daily tribulations-know that there's someone here who thinks the world of you.  Thank you-for giving me a taste of what happiness could be. 


« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 06:31:33 PM by luvlylisa »

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Offline luvlylisa

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Re: luvly....is she really?
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2010, 09:42:55 PM »
Yeah I'm still sick.  I'm ready to go to sleep.  Exactly what I'll do once I get home.  blah.....take some theraflu and knock the F out.



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