luvly....is she really?

[luvlylisa]

 

but a lot 2 do @ work 2day.

thank goodness it's thurs....which means 2morrow's friday.  but i've 2 stay late 2morrow 4 another interview N i have 2 work on Sat.  yeah....summer is really over now.

[luvlylisa]

A lot things goin on....n all areas.

*sigh* blah

[proudlao]

i sit here and i can't seem to get anything done
and i'm not quite sure what is wrong
ok, i lied i know what's distracting me
but as much as i try to look past it my heart is just not as ease
it's heavy and i only find myself contemplating what i should do...if i should do anything
but really, i am simply scared that once i reveal my thoughts, my heart, i'll be left with nothing but pain
in this game of luv who is to win and who is to lose
what's there to really gain or to give...or r we simply just a muse
u don't know it but u have my heart in the palm of ur hand
i realize i can't blame u if u don't understand
for lips have not made their move
so i can't let myself think ur not hearing me...ur actions r rude
if i must be upset or frustrated it's honestly due to me, myself, n i
bc truth b all this time i've doing nothing but trying to hide
one may ask y make things complicated
i'm not trying to make things hard...as we both know how luv nowadays is so overrated
quite frankly i dunno what i'm more afraid of...
luv itself or knowing that i can be luved.

And how is not knowing or saying anything is a good thing? I would like to know and not go through years in the dark questioning myself, what if?

[luvlylisa]

And how is not knowing or saying anything is a good thing? I would like to know and not go through years in the dark questioning myself, what if?

of course it's not helping pl.  but things r easier said than done and there's a few variables here that come n2 play making this a lil complicated.  i've always been an honest person--especially to myself.  i'm sure he's not stupid but yes, i've to say something.  and there's no such thing as "perfect time"...and the longer I wait, the more of an opportunity i allow for "others".  *sigh* heck, for my own sanity something needs to be decided and needs to happen.  n whatever i decide i know i'll be content w that decision. 

thnx though...for ur nudge or concern.

[luvlylisa]

OMG.....these dreams r really messing w my head!   


but it was funny...and it's been a while since I dreamt in Chinese. Always nice! 

[luvlylisa]

it's such a nice day out....just got back from advising @ my old high school..meetin g w my kids.

@ the office now trying to finish up some paperwork before i head out for the weekend.  i've got a full schedule ahead of next week and well, i already wish next week was done w.  yeah--so looking forward to it, can u tell?  LOL


hrrrmm...the weekend.  i did not plan on going anywhere and my gf really wants me to accompany her n her hubby n a mutual friend on this "fishing" trip.  *sigh* in all honesty, i do want to go.   but not only is it not in my budget but i have my reasons 4 not wanting to go.     oh, decisions, decisions, decisions..... what to do, what to do, what to do?  blah! 

[luvlylisa]

Yeah...i went w them on the fishing trip. How was it? Well, fishing? Major FAIL! OK, not major but semi fail. We went out on the lake both Sat n Sun all day n got nothing on Sat n towards the last maybe three hours on Sun finally got  big salmon (which got their hopes up to stay) only to catch a 10 inch rainbow trout. Fisherman 1 caught both fish while fisherman 2 wS hella frustrated n disappointed from the whole weekend.

My girl n i had a good time though. We cheered the guys on n we laughed a tons all weekend! I'm glad i went. I was fortunate enough that he let me drive/steer the boat (since i couldn't do anything else....hadn't gotten my license all summer since i hadn't had time to fish hence didn't want to waste $). It was a bit scarey bc i freK myself out playing worse case scenarios n my head...yeah, i'm a dork. But even though the fishing trip was unsuccessful @ least every1 was a good sport bout it n we made the best out of the situation. We enjoyed each others' company. Besides, like i told them...."if we (the girls) had not come along u 2 would have been miserable guys who were too disappointed to tLk to each other n sulk on ur end of the boat making the experience even more sucky!" they said i was probably right.

[luvlylisa]

Lately everytime i close my eyes i c u....last  night u can n gave me a letter which confessed ur luv to me. I cried n held ur letter tightly n my arms. I was happy....

[luvlylisa]

eh...just the usual today.  nothing new.

went to the gym with the bro last night.  felt great after the workout....my problem isn't working out--once i'm there i'm good....just need to get into the habit of getting my big arse there.  blah.  hoping to go tonight after work.

[luvlylisa]

quite a productive day today....but still a few more hours of work.  gotta run out to my college application workshop and help my seniors fill out their apps.

*sigh* thank goodness i went to bed early last night...perhap s I will tonight as well.

another long day tomorrow so I hope I get everything done!

[luvlylisa]

Hungover....bl ah!

[luvlylisa]

bz bz bz....


urgh....fall is most def here!

[luvlylisa]

I do want 2 b true 2 myself but slowly i realize....wit h or w/o u....i most def will b ok.

[luvlylisa]

i've been bz...hence away from here.

still bz....but at least now since we finally have the net @ home...perhaps I'll venture on more now. 

then again, a new chapter in this life of mine to start soon...thus, i'll b bz still and mayb a lil more than now.

[proudlao]

Good morning Lisa. Keeping busy is good. Hope to see you more often. Keep me posted on your new venture. I am getting closer in closing this chapter and begin a new one as well.