Accepting the Unacceptable

[PojNiamLubSiab]

I know that everyone has different level of tolerance when it comes to different things, but do you think it's ok to accept things that are unacceptable to you?

For example, if you don't like your s/o to talk to other girls, but he does, should you just accept it b/c you can't do anything about it?

I know some of you say it's ok to talk to the opposite sex, and it is but it seems that my s/o "tuag tsis taus" and must talk to every new girl he sees. If it's at work, he'll make the excuse that she's a co-worker and he has to talk to her. If it's outside of work and his brothers are talking to girls, he'll butt in on their conversation, make comments, or do something to try to get the girls' attention. He thinks I don't know but I know him so well. I can read his every facial expression even though he tries to hide it.

If he really loves me, don't you think he'll do it just to make me happy? We've had talks before about how he needs to show me that I can trust him. I've never seen married men out in public just make conversation w/strangers(girls) before. It really makes me think about why he does it. If he's interest in them or not.

So give me your opinion. Am I just being too overly jealous? Do I need to change or should I "put my foot down" on something I don't like? But how can I show him that I'm serious?

[trippleX]

That is the mistake that many tend to make. When a small issue arises, no one wants to try and fix it or give it proper limitations, yet close a blind eye until it gets to the breaking point and then ppl try to fix it. You can not fix a problem that has reached it's ultimate capacity, ppl need to start focusing on problems when they have just begun, when it is still little as there is better chance of repair and healing. Never wait until it is too late.

[Peachy Fish]

Hmm...you already approached him w/this subject, but it sounds as if nothing was resolved to your liking. If this is truly affecting your piece of mind and soul, maybe it's time to say goodbye.

[Special_K]

pojniam - let me ask you this, has he ever done anything to you in the past to make you distrust him?

[lifegoeson]

That is the mistake that many tend to make. When a small issue arises, no one wants to try and fix it or give it proper limitations, yet close a blind eye until it gets to the breaking point and then ppl try to fix it. You can not fix a problem that has reached it's ultimate capacity, ppl need to start focusing on problems when they have just begun, when it is still little as there is better chance of repair and healing. Never wait until it is too late.

Totally agree w/ you trippleX. I've learned that its better to point out the issue right away and find a way to resolve it, then to wait until it builds up and the present it to the other person.

[yes]

Your statement here:  "it seems that my s/o "tuag tsis taus" and must talk to every new girl he sees. If it's at work, he'll make the excuse that she's a co-worker and he has to talk to her. If it's outside of work and his brothers are talking to girls, he'll butt in on their conversation, make comments, or do something to try to get the girls' attention. He thinks I don't know but I know him so well. I can read his every facial expression even though he tries to hide it." .............. ....... already shows me that he is obviously a flirt. If you haven't talked to him about it, you need to. If you have and its been more that 2-3 times and you see that he isn' t making any efforts to change then it's time to cut ties.

there's a difference between socializing and total flirting and your man is totally flirsting.

[magicofju]

Just another perspective: but I talk and converse with married/taken guys all the time, especially at work. I know they are married/taken, but does that mean I want them or I'm trying to homewreck? No. Of course not. I'm naturally a people-person and the kinds of positions I've held, I have to be able to communicate effectively too. But hmong people will always get this negative impression on you that if you are caught talking to someone else other than your husband, when really you have no motives at all to get with that person. If I come off as standoffish and stuck-up, it makes others around me uncomfortable to communicate with me, so I learn how to adjust my mind straight and present myself well when out in public.

But if his behavior bothers you, you should tell him how it makes you feel. Be bietchy about it too if you have to. Some married men and women are overly-flirtatious and sometimes that can be inappropriate, and it may even lead to cheating.

Or maybe he's purposely doing this to you so you can leave him? Good luck only.

[BuckFuddies]

Just another perspective: but I talk and converse with married/taken guys all the time, especially at work. I know they are married/taken, but does that mean I want them or I'm trying to homewreck? No. Of course not. I'm naturally a people-person and the kinds of positions I've held, I have to be able to communicate effectively too. But hmong people will always get this negative impression on you that if you are caught talking to someone else other than your husband, when really you have no motives at all to get with that person. If I come off as standoffish and stuck-up, it makes others around me uncomfortable to communicate with me, so I learn how to adjust my mind straight and present myself well when out in public.

But if his behavior bothers you, you should tell him how it makes you feel. Be bietchy about it too if you have to. Some married men and women are overly-flirtatious and sometimes that can be inappropriate, and it may even lead to cheating.

Or maybe he's purposely doing this to you so you can leave him? Good luck only.

Bhahahahahahah ahahahaha.   

[magicofju]

I am nice and pleasant in person. But if you ever met me Buttfcuker, I'll hawk up a green phlegm and spit it in your face.

[BuckFuddies]

I am nice and pleasant in person. But if you ever met me Buttfcuker, I'll hawk up a green phlegm and spit it in your face.

You know, spitting at someone is what a person does when he or she is losing control of a situation such as lets say......getti ng into a heated argument, where one's last resort is to spit on the other person when feeling like he or she is nearing defeat or failing to comeback with something constructive.   

[My Heart Speaks]

How did he get to you ? Flirting too ?

If he makes you feel uncomfortable and you've already voiced your opinions...... but he's not willing to stop it's time to move on. Unless you're those type of insecure gfs who gets upset every time their man looks at another woman ?

[jbutton]

I know that everyone has different level of tolerance when it comes to different things, but do you think it's ok to accept things that are unacceptable to you?

For example, if you don't like your s/o to talk to other girls, but he does, should you just accept it b/c you can't do anything about it?

I know some of you say it's ok to talk to the opposite sex, and it is but it seems that my s/o "tuag tsis taus" and must talk to every new girl he sees. If it's at work, he'll make the excuse that she's a co-worker and he has to talk to her. If it's outside of work and his brothers are talking to girls, he'll butt in on their conversation, make comments, or do something to try to get the girls' attention. He thinks I don't know but I know him so well. I can read his every facial expression even though he tries to hide it.

If he really loves me, don't you think he'll do it just to make me happy? We've had talks before about how he needs to show me that I can trust him. I've never seen married men out in public just make conversation w/strangers(girls) before. It really makes me think about why he does it. If he's interest in them or not.

So give me your opinion. Am I just being too overly jealous? Do I need to change or should I "put my foot down" on something I don't like? But how can I show him that I'm serious?

Tell him how you feel.  If he still keep doing it, clearly he has no concern for your feeling.  Perhaps, time to find someone new?

[magicofju]

You know, spitting at someone is what a person does when he or she is losing control of a situation such as lets say......getti ng into a heated argument, where one's last resort is to spit on the other person when feeling like he or she is nearing defeat or failing to comeback with something constructive.   

No not that. You're just an a sshole, pr ick, d ick, b astard, every bad word I can think of and I can detect and smell a fawking douchey scumbag a sshole from thousands of miles away.  You act like an a sshole, even if it's online, be expected to get treated like one. I seriously hate men like you. Who talk and disrespect and use women. Women are just as capable of being cruel and jerks back to c untlickers like you. You're not a gentleman so I don't act like a lady towards you. You do not deserve the best of me and I will not waste my time with you anymore. I know who the gentlemens are and you're not one of them. So I talk and act like a f awken b itch to you because you obviously is a man with no integrity and moral ethics in him. Damn this is fun. Give me your best shot little man, when you log back onto your lousy ass screenname BuckFuddies better known as ButtfuCked.   

[sprite]

Whatever he did to win you, he can do to someone else - like another ph-er already mentioned. Unfortunately, it's his great conversation skills and people-personality. So yes, you are gonna have to accept it OR stick with your principles and move on. You're asking for him to change a "character trait" and that just won't happen.

Have you ever heard "the thing that attracts you to a person will probably be the same thing that breaks you"?

[dotdot]

I know that everyone has different level of tolerance when it comes to different things, but do you think it's ok to accept things that are unacceptable to you?

For example, if you don't like your s/o to talk to other girls, but he does, should you just accept it b/c you can't do anything about it?

I know some of you say it's ok to talk to the opposite sex, and it is but it seems that my s/o "tuag tsis taus" and must talk to every new girl he sees. If it's at work, he'll make the excuse that she's a co-worker and he has to talk to her. If it's outside of work and his brothers are talking to girls, he'll butt in on their conversation, make comments, or do something to try to get the girls' attention. He thinks I don't know but I know him so well. I can read his every facial expression even though he tries to hide it.

If he really loves me, don't you think he'll do it just to make me happy? We've had talks before about how he needs to show me that I can trust him. I've never seen married men out in public just make conversation w/strangers(girls) before. It really makes me think about why he does it. If he's interest in them or not.

So give me your opinion. Am I just being too overly jealous? Do I need to change or should I "put my foot down" on something I don't like? But how can I show him that I'm serious?

If it's bothering you... maybe it might not work... It's better to leave when you can... this is a clear sign already that it might not work in the long run...