Have you ever had a girlfriend that her parents gave her away to someone else?

[MenaceAccord07]

This happened more to the 80's generation more than any era, that i witnessed. Long distant relationships was awesome. The thing that sucks the most was when you could fall in love(or crush) with someone your own age, 14, and the next thing you know she is married. Other race have crush on each other at 14-16, we Hmong get married, have kids, and go on welfare.The husband is 3-4 years older than her and jobless. (Man the transferring of welfare money from house to house has got to be embarrassing.)  Usually when you see a new girl at Merced High School she just got married and came from Fresno. The couple lives with the parents in a rundown apartment on M Street. lol The late 90's arrived and they are divorced with a few kids. Ten years later when you are out of college and with a job she is divorced with kids. I really like to know how some of these women feel. I wonder if there are many "would have" "should have"?

That sheit is true since I did grow up on Merced.

[slude]

the tradition is outdated, only in laos and during the early years in the states.

this post is irrelevant, if so, name one incident within the last decade. don't hate this culture because you don't know.

[saki saki]

Our culture gotta stop doing tat shyt.... 14-15 N gett'n marry...not in tis age and time...have'n 2kids hard enough...can just bearly make it... Cost of livings too high...price inflation too unreal... Tat's also explain as to why the break up ratio is high and the OGs gett'n tired of our BS... Marry 2day dump 2maro...

[slude]

our culture has already stop doing it. it's the young stupid kids that are still praticing cause if they can't marry they over-dose on pills.

..and to think after so many years in the states, the 2nd-3rd generations would have learned to use the law.

stupid hmong kids, not stupid hmong culture.

[saki saki]

our culture has already stop doing it. it's the young stupid kids that are still praticing cause if they can't marry they over-dose on pills.

..and to think after so many years in the states, the 2nd-3rd generations would have learned to use the law.

stupid hmong kids, not stupid hmong culture.

you and i know tat but sum OG support tat 14-15yrs...i know a family tat still does tat... Their last daughter was 15-16yrs and she got marry to some cali dude...i was invited but i refuse to show up... Just cuz i know it was wrong of her to get marry, but her parents was the one calling the shot..

[slude]

you and i know tat but sum OG support tat 14-15yrs...i know a family tat still does tat... Their last daughter was 15-16yrs and she got marry to some cali dude...i was invited but i refuse to show up... Just cuz i know it was wrong of her to get marry, but her parents was the one calling the shot..

did they force her to go? likely no. the og support the wedding culture, they don't force marriage any longer. so don't blame the og for following through with culture. blame the stupid kids for believing marriage is the answer to their teen life-crisis.

[LadyLionness]

Yes, actually... Though I think the girl is stupid.  O_o

And I keep thinking to myself, "Isn't this America?"

I know a girl, whom her parents have been grooming for something special... they had engaged her to her mom's sister's son... since she was pretty, her cousin did not mind marrying her... but she had a boyfriend who she had been dating for many years and is very much in love with him... he was a good kid, going to college, and all that... came from a good family...

Over the years, the parents had tried to break them up... the dad would beat her up and make her call him and break up with him over the phone... but they held on... and saw or talk to each other whenever possible...

When they both graduated from college and wanted to get married, he dad said no... and to prove a point, beat her up really bad... she went to a shelter and sought help from the law... with the law involved, the father gave in and let her get married... but he made the groom did many things at the hmong wedding and refused to walk his daughter down the isle... this was his favorite daughter... after the wedding, he refused to stand in the line to say thank you to the guests...

It's very sad... but they fought hard for each other... they have been married for a little over 2 years now... and this was a girl born in this country.

[saki saki]

did they force her to go? likely no. the og support the wedding culture, they don't force marriage any longer. so don't blame the og for following through with culture. blame the stupid kids for believing marriage is the answer to their teen life-crisis.

In sum wat yes, wat I didn't get was why? why would you get marry at a very tender age...You have not even been lay or enjoy wat life has to offer. 15-16yr of age sees nothing.. never smoke weed in ur life.. anyways I know tis family for a long while now... I guess they themselves were marry at a young age back in Laos.. it's all in the family trees.

[slude]

In sum wat yes, wat I didn't get was why? why would you get marry at a very tender age...You have not even been lay or enjoy wat life has to offer. 15-16yr of age sees nothing.. never smoke weed in ur life.. anyways I know tis family for a long while now... I guess they themselves were marry at a young age back in Laos.. it's all in the family trees.

you don't for a fact know the parents forced the marriage, just hearsay. your question, 'why would you get marry at a tender age" is one she should've asked not her parents. her parents did not force, so don't blame the og and their backward culture. blame the stupid hmong american kid who can't answer that question.

get it? the practice of force marriage, underage marriage died in the last decade. do not blame because of ignorance. know your people culture and the adaptive environment, don't go making accusations of how bad your culture is because the problem is you and change starts with YOU.

[saki saki]

Yo hold on a sec.
You know very well tat sum OG still holds tat culture..Not all but a few...and trust me it's how the parents brain wash their kids...a lot of the OG are now seeing the true colors of young age marrying...a lot of my friends and their GF are both move out and living 2gether..her parents wants them to get marry. But as ppl these days don't wanna get marry..Just stay as BF and GF.. Now tell me if 2 ppl don't wanna get marry but wanna be 2geter, why shiuld they wed?..

[slude]

yes some og's have the backward mentality called 'saving face'. if your friends are +18 then they call the shot, if -18 then the parents are wrong, all according to u.s. laws. but young couples should not be intimidated by hmong by-laws but at the same time respect u.s. laws, meaning if you're +18 you should not engage with a -18. use your common u.s. sense.

save face, save your parents, save yourself and do us a favor, use your head.