Now we also have to understand the mindset of some of these elders. Some are just bitter beyond control and some believe that they own their children and their children needs to do whatever they say whenever and however they demand or ask and their children can not disagree, even if the parents maybe wrong.
Logically, if they are understanding parents, they would know that you can not expect your children to do everything and anything you say, want and demand even when the parents maybe wrong. As I am sure, not all parents can fullfill the requests and expectations of what their children ask and expects of them. We can not be selfish and put blame on others for not loving as much or caring as much because we simply didn't get what we wanted, asked for or demand others to do for us.
My question is, are these parents really good parents to begin with, yet they blame their children for being bad. As a parent, you should teach through good words or wisdom as well as by good example. Not "do as i say not as i do". Parents who follow this rule and are hypocrites, can't expect their chlidren to be angels when they as parents aren't themselves. Unless a parent is truly good and innocent, they should not place blame on others due to their lack of responsibility and neglect as a parent from the beginning. From what I've observed, many of these parents who blame their children for not being good children, is due to their lack of good proper guidance and discipline. As parents, they should know the difference between right and wrong, what is fair and what is not and many times, they don't or just don't care as long as they get what they want because they feel it is their children's obligation to care for them and cater to their every demand.