separate or divorce

[LELIA]

A husband who's Drunk every weekend is the biggest LOSER. He won't change for anyone, might as well call it QUIT and get a divorce. Some men need to grow up and act like an adult and take care of his family.

[sacleads]

For the life of me, I never understood drinking and getting drunk and acting like a buffoon .  To me, people who needs to drink to make them happy have serious issues and lacks something to make them feel, they need to drink to make themselves feel better about themselves.  Only you know how much you can tolerate.  You'll know when you had enough. 

[yuknowthat]

The habit seems too strong now. You won't be able to curb him from it. The question then is this: is she able to love him despite that habit? Many Hmong women are able to take their husbands' drinking habits so long as the husbands do not become abusive. If he just drinks and is not doing any damage, then maybe she can put up with him. Perhaps start with a separation to see if her feelings are going to hang on.  If not, then it's time to divorce. And if he does damages, then it is also time for her to divorce him.

that's back in the days...here in america! if you're an alcoholic ...she won't even stay with you for a day.. like the elders says "niaj hnub haus dej haus cawv yuav zoo qhov twg tuaj?"

[-TubPov-]

drinking every single week is stupid if you have kids and wife. it'll lead to trouble only!

Well, Convince him to go to a counselor or see a psychiatrist if needed, because the doctor knows better. 

[LonelyFatGirl]

Reminds me of the men in my family. 

[No regret]

How serious is his drinking? Is it more just social drinking or him coming home all drunk all the time?

If it's very serious, you need to sit him down and tell him he's getting out of control.  Just tell him nicely and show him you mean business!

I drink occassionally too but it's just social drinking though.

[GoldFishFighting]

Money for beer got to come from somewhere...st op that first...

Cia li kom nws mus kawm ua MejKoob xwb los mas...all you can drink plus money and respect .

win win and win

Poj niam siab me me ces tsis yog haus cawv los yeej yog dis and dat... it never ends...

ib lub zoov yeej muaj ib tug ntoo siab... if its problematic then take it to him. he'll know what to do... unless off couse you're too good for the clan thing...then you could always take it to the lawyer along with $3000 dollars..

good luck

[sprite]

She's dealing with an alcoholic. She needs professional advice.

[slude]

according to ph members, they are perfect. maybe drinking is an outlet, maybe some ph should look in the mirror before making a comment.

some drinks, others are drunks. some addicts, others think the world of themselves, and most are not going anywhere. maybe you gossip to much, or do not socialize at all.
environmental nurture can shape a person into a monster.

which one is you? before judging others, look yourself in the mirror and ask 'am i perfect?'

[vanggirlie]

my cousin left her husband (even tho they had two kids) because he did the same.  she didn't mind if he drink every now and then but every weekend was too much and sometimes he wants her to drink too and she's not a drinker.  my cousin khiav ua nkauj fa with kids and then they had meeting with elders.  the elders thought it wasn't a problem but my cousin said she rather start a life without a drunk husband every weekend then with one so she let him choose what he wanted.  he said he'd quit so she went back with him.  he still drinks but less then before.  i guess he really loved her enough to curb it somewhat. 

what can you do...

[VillainousHero]

One can never expect to truly understand an alchoholic even when one is the same.  Everybody is a little different in some respect and their reasons are their personal choices.  Is the drinking destroying the marriage?  How?  Hostility or irresponsibili ty?  Lack of communication or lack of respect?  Whatever the value one has on it, it's up to the individual to assign the face worth of that value.  If your love isn't strong enough to overcome that, then just forsake love altogether.  Don't get married for love, just get married or hooked up with someone else for convenience.  That's the way how it was supposed to work.  Worked for thousands of years before romantic novels were written.

[Luther]

I don't do clubs or bars but I do drink every weekend with my friends and brothers.

Nothing wrong with it as long as you know your limits.

[j-man]

Do you know why he drinks? It's cause she is fawking boring and he needs something else to do........He's still not thinking about his life and something is missing..that's why he does that.........N OT...it's cause he's got too much dang time on his hand...that's all...........

[LaXgirlxiong]

A lot people drink for no reasons. some for fun... or just to get drunk...or because theyre addicted to alcohol.
Glad my man will only drink some beers once a month with friends and i already think it's a NO NO!!!!!!!!!

[AOZ]

That's no reason for divorce..... but she....the wife need to make sure she's got life/disability insurance on him.... she might hit the jackpot sooner than later.