long term dating

[neveah]

Dr. PH,

Please explain something to me.  How is it that a couple can date for a long time, say five to 10 years and not get married but after they separate, one person gets married after 6 months or so of dating someone else? 

[Reporter]

The person who got married after just 6 months of separation must have been cheating during the 10 years in the other relationship. Don't you agree?

[yuknowthat]

gf material and wife material..

[neveah]

The person who got married after just 6 months of separation must have been cheating during the 10 years in the other relationship. Don't you agree?

OK lets say that is the reason, how does he/she knows that person is the one and not the one he/she's been seeing for the 10 yrs?

[neveah]

gf material and wife material..

Please explain what makes a person a gf or wifey material?  If you were in a relationship for that long, shouldn't you know that she/he is not wife/husband material after a couple of years and drop them?  I personally don't think that it is fair to the other person.

[neveah]

He was dragging u along for the ride..he had other plans up his sleeves he juc wasnt ready to pull em out yet n when he was he dropped u..went on with things he had up his sleeves finished up business and tied the knot..he cared for u loved u..but not enuff to start a life with you =)

Not about me per se, but i like your answer. 

[DivineTreasure]

They weren't meant to be.  Ntuj tsuas tso  nkawv los sib paub ib vuag dua xwb tsis muab ntawv niam ntxiv rau nkawv nqa los ua neej ua ke. 

[neveah]

They weren't meant to be.  Ntuj tsuas tso  nkawv los sib paub ib vuag dua xwb tsis muab ntawv niam ntxiv rau nkawv nqa los ua neej ua ke. 

That is so sad .  Why would heaven do that?  It is really unfair to the person who is left standing wondering why she or he is left standing alone after having committed so much time and effort into a relationship.  Don't you agree?

[DivineTreasure]

That is so sad .  Why would heaven do that?  It is really unfair to the person who is left standing wondering why she or he is left standing alone after having committed so much time and effort into a relationship.  Don't you agree?

I personally believe that everything happen for a reason.  Yog ntuj tsis muab ntawv niam txiv rau nkawv nqa los ua neej es txawm tias nkawv sib yuav saum yajceeb no los nkawv txoj kev niam txiv yeej tsis last, so it's best that nkawv mus nkawv li separate ways. 

[foromosa]

Dr. PH,

Please explain something to me.  How is it that a couple can date for a long time, say five to 10 years and not get married but after they separate, one person gets married after 6 months or so of dating someone else? 

I don't think people should take it so personally. Feelings might be hurt, and understandably so. However, people change. Five to ten years is a long time. Take for example, my high school friends. Two of them dated their boyfriends since we were in high school. After numerous years, one if them got married. The other one and her boyfriend just broke up not too long ago. If you think about who you were when you were in high school, even college to now, are you the same person with the same goals/wants in life? Most likely not. Perhaps the person who remarried quickly happened to meet another person who was better suited for him/her.

Or if you want to go the negative route, you can think what everyone else said.

Just remember, people change!

[neveah]

I personally believe that everything happen for a reason.  Yog ntuj tsis muab ntawv niam txiv rau nkawv nqa los ua neej es txawm tias nkawv sib yuav saum yajceeb no los nkawv txoj kev niam txiv yeej tsis last, so it's best that nkawv mus nkawv li separate ways. 

That makes it even sadder  

I wonder if I would rather be the one who left or the one who is left because the one who did the leaving should have left a long time ago if she/he had doubts (that would make her or him the biggest jerk ever) and the one left I imagine would be in a world of hurt (but then she or he should've known better?).

[neveah]

foromosa, I still think it must be really sad though because it's such a long time.  I'm sure when they started seeing each other, they felt they were really suited to each other too. 

[DivineTreasure]

We are only human so our feelings will be hurt if we are in this situation and we are the one being left behind.  Life goes on and the sun will once shine again.  Obviously the person who left isn't the right person for you. If you are the one that is left behind,  you should be greatful and be thankful, because 10 years wasted is certainly better then a lifetime wasted. 

[AOZ]

The truth hurts.  Tis y I tell girls......nev er put all ur eggs in one basket.....

When u decide to live with a guy.... u r putting all ur eggs in one basket....when he dumps u..... u know way happens to all ur eggs.....

[foromosa]

foromosa, I still think it must be really sad though because it's such a long time.  I'm sure when they started seeing each other, they felt they were really suited to each other too. 

I know. I think it's a bit sad as well. However, it should be a learning and growing experience.