Some insights and encouragements would be nice

[White Lotus]

I am at the peak of my anxiety moment.  It has been very challenging for me since I decided to go back to school.  There are many projects due and lots of reading for all my classes.  I work full time and taking three classes.  Apparently, my family does not know how to help me.  On top of that, I have a little one at home still who is highly in need of attention.  I am aware that my education is not something that will be done within the next couple years due to that I am only part-time. 

With all other outside responsibiliti es, my duties are endless.  Yet, I am behind on my school work.  I stop reading the material in one class.  Still, weekends are not enough for me as we start more readings per week.  I am totally in dead end on weeks that cover up to three chapters.  So I've decided to focus on my school work for this week.  I completely stop doing house chores such as cooking, laundry, cleaning, etc.  Being an organized person and enjoying a clean environment, the situation only stress me more.  I've came to realization that I must make a choice to sacrifice the need of my family for education.  I've yet to see the benefit of my education..... but acknowledging that life is short.  Time is valuable...I could very well miss out on the years spend on education while can never relive them.  On the other hand, I also enjoy the enlightenment that education offers. 

Please share your experience and thoughts.  Thank you in advance and I truly appreciate your comments.

[peas_n_queues]

Is your husband supportive of you furthuring your education?  If he is then tell him he should show it by helping with chores at home.

[boO]

Kudos to you White Lotus.

Back in my college years, as a student, I was finding it hard enough to self-motivate academically as well as independently look after myself.  I have always wondered how mature age students cope with their load in terms of being a parent, a partner, student as well as working at the same time.  Thus, I have and still do possess unwavering admiration for those mature age students returning back to study.

I know that it may be tough right now but hang in there. The reward will be worth it at the end!

[White Lotus]

Is your husband supportive of you furthuring your education?  If he is then tell him he should show it by helping with chores at home.

He doesn't seem to go against it; however, my house is a disaster.  Lol.....he's still waiting for food and getting his clothes done for him.

[White Lotus]

Kudos to you White Lotus.

Back in my college years, as a student, I was finding it hard enough to self-motivate academically as well as independently look after myself.  I have always wondered how mature age students cope with their load in terms of being a parent, a partner, student as well as working at the same time.  Thus, I have and still do possess unwavering admiration for those mature age students returning back to study.

I know that it may be tough right now but hang in there. The reward will be worth it at the end!

It's difficult.  I didn't think it would be this hard.  But I've came to realization that if I slack further, I will fail.  Besides that I don't want to rush through not fully understand the material.  Basically, I'm working toward getting no grade lower than a B.

[JustMe2]

first off....CONGRAT S to you for returning to school in addition to all your current responsibiliti es.

to be totally honest, and i'm not attacking you personally here ok..... at the rate that you are going, you will get burnt out FAST.  there will come a time when you are going to crash because as humans, without a sense of balance we get knocked off our feet easily.  i seriously urge you to STOP, REFLECT, and take TIME for yourself to figure out that balance.  i too have let go of the tidiness of my home, sometimes i don't do the dishes because i have an exam to study for or even snap at my kids many a time because i lack the quietness in my home to study.  you on the other hand, do have a hubby.  before you burn out, ask your hubby to assist you in creating balance not only in your academic goals but also his help in your personal goals.

i know you probably have so much reading up your arse, however a book that i have found to be so helpful and meaningful (it assisted in restoring balance to my life) is FIRST THINGS FIRST, authored by Covey,Roger and Merrill.  it really makes you stop and really assess the important things from the critical things in your life.  i highly recommend this book!

i applaud you for not wanting anything less than a B!  we all want to get the highest grade, however make note that sometimes in life a C is ok too.  just don't make it a habit or lose sight of what's important in life by only focusing on that A in school.

i was in similar situation like yours....and now after many years, the light at the end of the tunnel is near:)  White Lotus, you too will make it....i just know it!

[White Lotus]

first off....CONGRAT S to you for returning to school in addition to all your current responsibiliti es.

to be totally honest, and i'm not attacking you personally here ok..... at the rate that you are going, you will get burnt out FAST.  there will come a time when you are going to crash because as humans, without a sense of balance we get knocked off our feet easily.  i seriously urge you to STOP, REFLECT, and take TIME for yourself to figure out that balance.  i too have let go of the tidiness of my home, sometimes i don't do the dishes because i have an exam to study for or even snap at my kids many a time because i lack the quietness in my home to study.  you on the other hand, do have a hubby.  before you burn out, ask your hubby to assist you in creating balance not only in your academic goals but also his help in your personal goals.

i know you probably have so much reading up your arse, however a book that i have found to be so helpful and meaningful (it assisted in restoring balance to my life) is FIRST THINGS FIRST, authored by Covey,Roger and Merrill.  it really makes you stop and really assess the important things from the critical things in your life.  i highly recommend this book!

i applaud you for not wanting anything less than a B!  we all want to get the highest grade, however make note that sometimes in life a C is ok too.  just don't make it a habit or lose sight of what's important in life by only focusing on that A in school.

i was in similar situation like yours....and now after many years, the light at the end of the tunnel is near:)  White Lotus, you too will make it....i just know it!

So you've finished school?  Please tell me more. 

I think I want to get good grades yet still maintain a clean and orderly house and able to do other church work.  So perhaps I have a lot of things going...too much to handle.  I was thinking of quitting my volunteer work at church, but I also don't want to be looked at as a failure.  So anyway.....

[werty]

i commend your want to pursue a degree despite what's happening all around you...

i have a relative who is married... works full time... go to school full time.. and have 2 kids.... super women for sure... she lives with a very traditional family.. so she is expected to fulfill her nyab role/duties too...... that makes me look at myself and wonder.. i only live w/ the husband and i only have to work full time....... and some days i can't even clean the house or do the dishes or cook a meal? that is just plain laziness... haha.... i ask myself... why can't i do more when she can do all that?!

at the end of the day.. just remember what's important in the long run.... look at the big picture... it's okay to let go of or lessen some of your responsibiliti es u have now for a greater cause... my fears include not being able to help my future kids with their school work... or have them ask me "why do i have to go to school when u didn't?".... or not providing and preparing them for an easier route in life than what i had to go through to just get where i'm at today.... and a lot of it can start with having an education... so don't give up!

[AOZ]

something's gotta give.  u can't do ALL... remember... we are not superwomens!!  hahaha.

so.. take it easy.  maybe 3 classes with fulltime job is stretching urself too much.  you might want just 2 classes per semester.... so u cna keep u the grades.  but if u can handle 3 classes w/fulltime work... i say do it too.. some employers will let you out early to go to class too.

somthings gotta give.... u decide.    ur sleep... ur kid... ur husband.... ur house... u decide. 

[8v10un30sun]

It helps when your in law pitches in.

[moonangel]

Congrats.  I know it's hard, esp. with the kids and having to work.  When husband was in school (he had to go full-time), he also worked part-time while studying round the clock.  I was left to watch our 2 girls, clean the house, do the laundry, and cook.  I also worked full-time and many nights, overtime.  For us, it had to be done though and it's been worth it.

Now, I'm in school part-time and the rest of my day, I'm cleaning and watching my 4 year old and help my 8 year old with school stuff (the house is still messy though, I can't clean fast enough).  I also try to get some of my hobbies that I missed out on while I was working full-time (web graphics, etsy shop, etc).  I'm going for my MA in creative writing (undergrad was BS in CIS).  It's not so difficult but it's time consuming writing papers and brainstorming/reflecting, etc.  I'm doing this because I want to get an advance degree in something that is a little more fun so my purpose is very different but still, it requires discipline and that can get challenging when the little one is wanting attention at all times.

[JustMe2]

So you've finished school?  Please tell me more. 

I think I want to get good grades yet still maintain a clean and orderly house and able to do other church work.  So perhaps I have a lot of things going...too much to handle.  I was thinking of quitting my volunteer work at church, but I also don't want to be looked at as a failure.  So anyway.....

WL- Any parent attempting school with children at home is a difficult task, but not impossible.  Are you more concern about serving the Lord or are you only serving because of the image?  I ask you this because I have seen way too many niamtsev from church that volunteer like no tomorrow yet their lives are still empty without the praises from other folks in church.  Serving the Lord and understanding that His grace is a blessing because you are truly serving from your heart and not for praises from others.  I am sure if you seek the Lord with your heart, a balance will be struck between the two.  Perhaps it’s really time to sit down and assess the key important things in your life in order to balance school into the mix.  Again, the book I suggested would be a great resource even if you don’t read it all.  Make three lists including all the things you currently have responsibility for now – critical needs, important needs, others that can wait.  From that compiled list, I think you can visually see what you can drop and what you can’t.

From my personal experience – I stopped thinking about what others thought of me, as it became too stressful and time consuming.  I accepted the notion that it was ok for my house to be messy if that meant that I would have the time to complete a term paper.  I enlisted the help of my kids to help around the house. 

I also made myself a personal life mission statement.  Mission statements you see at work, church etc….make one for yourself.  Every once in a while, I will glance at it to make sure I am on track and that what I am doing is in support of my mission statement.

I think it is great you are looking beyond tomorrow and seeing a future with a degree in hand.  Talk it over with you husband, enlist his support as this will lighten your load.  And when I mean “support”, it’s not just verbal support rather if it means he has to pick up household chores or take care of the kids in order for you to have study time, so be it.

[DeceiversChick]

He doesn't seem to go against it; however, my house is a disaster.  Lol.....he's still waiting for food and getting his clothes done for him.

sorry to say but that sucks. YOu need your husband to physically support you through this tough time. Ask him to start cleaning, cooking, look after the kids, etc. You need your homework time.

It's selfish of him if he doesn't help around with the chores when you're taking 3 classes, working ft, and being a mother.

[Lady_Fallin]

You're awesome. I'm single, and full time school is kicking me in the butt already!!!  I can only imagine how difficult it is for you.

Take a day away from everyone and responsibility . Get some "me only time," clear the mind, and rebuild your energy.  Don't give up! It will be worth it!

P.S. I find it helpful to make a few friends in classes so we can study together...

P.S.S. Now is not the time to get mad at love ones or pointing fingers.  

[PojNiamLubSiab]

He doesn't seem to go against it; however, my house is a disaster.  Lol.....he's still waiting for food and getting his clothes done for him.

Your husband should be more supportive. you should talk to him although i understand sometimes talking just don't get through to them.

After four years, I finally return to school last semester and took 2 classes while working my 12hr night shift, it wasn't hard at first but bc of work and my husband, i started to fall behind. that gaybutt would go to the farm every morning and promised to be back by 2pm so i can go to class but was always late and made me late for class all the time. didn't help me around the house at all but in the beginning he did help me w/my homework. actually, he did all of it LOL.

if you knew you had a little one in highly need of your attention, you could have waited a little bit more before returning to school. if only i could, i'd stay home or work part time and spend time w/my little ones. their early years are the most important bc that is when they are learning anything and everything. congrats and good luck to you. I give you props for doing all of what you're doing.