Dear Doctor...

[Bubbly]

Why do I keep meeting guys who are unable to keep a job,
or uses lame excuses to why they can't find a job?
I don't mind paying for dates once in a while,
because I believe in equal shares,
but it does get tiring when you're the one who is always treating.
Or how about when having to make a decision,
instead of giving his input so we can BOTH decide on matters,
he simply waits for me to make the decision?
Am I too nice and giving in to him too much?
How do I find a guy who knows how to lead instead of being a follower?
Or how do I go about laying my foot on the ground?
I hope you can help, thanks!

Yours Truly, Bubbly

[kysk]

its very rare that you would find someone like that.. however, i wouldnt mind wearing the pants in the relationship but there are lots of guys out there who are in the same boat as the type of guy you are talking about. you just have to keep searching. But dont pay for dinner. if hes asking you out, he should pay for the dinner..

[AOZ]

i think you are doing it to yourself.  you put yourself in a situation where gold digging men want to take advantage of you.  this is what happens with this women and "equality" mentality.... taken too extreme.  making men want to be pampered by women.  this is wrong!  women should not pamper men when it comes to courting/dating...  you should never ever pay for any date. 

i don't care how butt ugly a woman is.... she should never ever pay for any date.  learn your lesson and move on.

[magicofju]

I'd have to agree with AOZ.

[ToxicCum]

You may not know it, but maybe you are attracted to that type of guy/person.

things that may help:
re-evaluate your standards
ask about the guy before going on a date, like literally ask, 'so wat do you do for a living?' and if he says 'i dont work'..well... then dont go on a date!
kinda like saying, 'its hot dont touch it, itll burn'...well....do u go and touch it? probably not....
re-evaluate yourself...may be those types of guys are attracted to u...how u look, how u talk, places where u hang out....etc etc...

good luck

[evil-in-deed]

Why do I keep meeting guys who are unable to keep a job,
or uses lame excuses to why they can't find a job?

because guys who have a job are busy working, so they dont have that much time to meet people... if you want to meet a guy with a job, then use your ears instead of your eyes to find them... and go with familys options...

I don't mind paying for dates once in a while,
because I believe in equal shares,
but it does get tiring when you're the one who is always treating.
Or how about when having to make a decision,
instead of giving his input so we can BOTH decide on matters,
he simply waits for me to make the decision?

because its your money in the first place... if hes making the money, he'll be sure to let you know if he does or doesnt like something...

Am I too nice and giving in to him too much?

no... you must have fallen into his depressed act...

How do I find a guy who knows how to lead instead of being a follower?

when he ask you out on a date and plans everything ahead of time... thats how youll know...

Or how do I go about laying my foot on the ground?

avoid him... and deprive him of money and time...

I hope you can help, thanks!

Yours Truly, Bubbly

no problem...

[yuknowthat]

Why do I keep meeting guys who are unable to keep a job,
or uses lame excuses to why they can't find a job?
I don't mind paying for dates once in a while,
because I believe in equal shares,
but it does get tiring when you're the one who is always treating.
Or how about when having to make a decision,
instead of giving his input so we can BOTH decide on matters,
he simply waits for me to make the decision?
Am I too nice and giving in to him too much?
How do I find a guy who knows how to lead instead of being a follower?
Or how do I go about laying my foot on the ground?
I hope you can help, thanks!

Yours Truly, Bubbly

damn you need to quit hanging out with the "phaj ej boys" ...

[Rockstargenes]

because guys who have a job are busy working, so they dont have that much time to meet people... if you want to meet a guy with a job, then use your ears instead of your eyes to find them... and go with familys options...

because its your money in the first place... if hes making the money, he'll be sure to let you know if he does or doesnt like something...

no... you must have fallen into his depressed act...

when he ask you out on a date and plans everything ahead of time... thats how youll know...

avoid him... and deprive him of money and time...

no problem...

I always Enjoy Evil replies.   

[Toua]

$$$ and employment can be a sensitive subject to some people, but find a way to get those answers. Sometimes you don't even need to ask. Just take a look at his life style. See what he owns. What his hobbies are?  Does he live on his own? if so, he's gotta have a steady job for that 6months to 1 yr lease. Does he have the usual bills (car payment, cell phone, CC, etc)  to pay? if yes, he's got a job. After 2 dates and you're still paying, he should be "X" out.  if you keep on paying over and over, it's your fault.

If he is still looking for a job and is seriously looking, give him some time if you're really into him. It's not that hard to determine if someone is BS'ing or not..

[saki saki]

IDK,  about you guys, but I feel guilty if my GF have to pay for my meal. Unless you're look at a different point of view like your wifey or hubby. That's a different story. As for a dude treating your GF to a dinner.. It's our job to pay for their meal, no matter the cost. Well to a certain point thou. LOL