is it appropriate for a 17 year old to be saying this?

[rice4u]

As long as he's not asking about the birds and the bees...

If one is going to spend money wisely, with the intent of repaying, they should never be embarassed to ask.

Dude I gotta say you looks just like my best buddy in Charlotte, NC. LOL.


Okay so he is 17.978787878, he's a freaky adult, go work so he'll stop feeling guilty. 

[tetrapod]

...I told him, at his age if he needs the money from time to time to go out and hang out with his friends or girlfriend it's ok to ask for it from his parents since he dont' have a job yet.  But he tells me he doesn't want to do that cause it makes him feels guilty for having to ask from his parents.  I told him at his age, he should not feel quilty about it as long as he's not asking from them like everyday, cause he doesn't even have a job yet and his parents will understand.

Sounds like a good kid to me.  He actually think about his parents.  Hmong parents are poor and some kids do not ask knowing their parents are poor. 

[Reporter]

I must say this is a very interesting topic and the responses have been very interesting as well. I actually read every reply. So, I've decided to give this some thoughts and also render my honest opinions on this issue.

I agree that it is appropriate for a teenager to ask for money from his parents. Better to ask them than to ask someone else anyway. But I know why he is reluctant to ask for some money. It is not always an easy thing to do. He may feel that they will deny his request. He may feel that he hasn't contributed enough to earning any money in the house and that it might not be a good idea to "take" their money.  He may also feel embarrassed to ask for money when he is already somewhat an adult--at least in the Hmong and social and moral senses.  In short, he feels weak and powerless for asking. Just a man kind of thing, isn't it?

But there are things the boy needs to know. He may ask for a certain small amount for good reasons for certain occasions only and stop there. He should not ask for large amounts without reasons. He should not keep asking for money over and over again once they have given him money one time. He should not be a chronic "asker." Too much can turn him into a beggar in some sense. And he may be viewed as such. Plus, he, too, may develop a habit of asking for money every time there is a need for money; and he may not feel obligated to work and earn his own.  

Sometimes we feel comfortable sharing our feelings with outsiders. So, we don't tell our parents our true feelings or true needs. They may be waiting for the day we turn to them. But we must remember that we should always contribute or reimburse or return if we have taken or plan to take anything. 

There are other issues related to this, e.g. working odd jobs, even doing something for the parents for a little allowance, or telling the parents the boy needs to borrow some money.  But those are strategies on how this 17-year-old can go about getting some money, not whether it's appropriate to ask for money from his parents. I won't discuss them now.

[thePoster]

Well if he dont want to feel guilty anymore he can just get a job duh.

[AOZ]

If my son asked me once a while... I'd give him money to spend....but if he wants to start dating... I would expect him to get a job.   Show some responsibility for his actions. But if I did my job as a good parent my son should know he needs to get a job so he can have more financial freedom than to wait on me to give money to him.

[munchausen]

Get this, it's not like he's been asking money from his parents many times before...he hardly goes out and hardly ever ramdonly ask for spending money from them.  He makes it as if he should never ask money from his parents, so I had to tell him it's ok to sometime, but just don't do it too often.  And we were only talking about 30 to 40 dollars in amount, not hundreds of dollars.

well, first off you are horrible at explaining a situation. so work on that first before you start crying a river cause someone gave you advice on the shiity information you gave them.