If I decide not to get married.....

[yubnag]

Would I be very selfish if I don't want to get married and just be BF and GF for the rest of our lives, together?

We can live together and have children though.

[foromosa]

I would I be very selfish if I don't want to get married and just be BF and GF for the rest of our lives, together?

We can live together and have children though.

I'm assuming you meant to ask that in the form of a question.

If you plan on having kids, maybe.

If you don't, who cares? What you do with your life is your decision. As long as you don't mind people smack talking, it's all good.

[AOZ]

i think the more correct term would be .... "dumb" on your end... because u getting the shorter end of the stick in your relationship. 

[Ph D wanna Be]

i think the more correct term would be .... "dumb" on your end... because u getting the shorter end of the stick in your relationship. 

Question from me to you.
If you're not planning on getting marry, why in the world would you want to bring a child into this awful forsaking planet.
You know tat you're only making it worst for the both of you. At the end, you'll be hubbyless and your chuld would be fatherless. Coz there's no tie that binds you together. Accpet the court and child care. At the end no one wants a single lady with an extra package.

[foromosa]

i think the more correct term would be .... "dumb" on your end... because u getting the shorter end of the stick in your relationship.  

   

I had to laugh because that was kind of mean.

Honestly, some people are not suited for marriage.

We live in a society and culture where marriage is pretty much the end goal of life. If for some reason you choose to opt of this, there is something wrong with you. The truth is, the shoe does not fit all. If people can be happy in a committed relationship without marriage, who are we to say otherwise?

However, while I say that, I still strongly believe that you should NOT bring a child into this world if you do not plan on getting married. At that point, your decision not to get married affects not just you and your significant other. You may be able to ignore the look down and sh*t talking from Hmong society, but your child/children may not and that may have a negative impact on them.

[yubnag]

i think the more correct term would be .... "dumb" on your end... because u getting the shorter end of the stick in your relationship.  

Under what/who's standard am I dumb? Yours?  

[yubnag]

 

I had to laugh because that was kind of mean.

Honestly, some people are not suited for marriage.

We live in a society and culture where marriage is pretty much the end goal of life. If for some reason you choose to opt of this, there is something wrong with you. The truth is, the shoe does not fit all. If people can be happy in a committed relationship without marriage, who are we to say otherwise?

However, while I say that, I still strongly believe that you should NOT bring a child into this world if you do not plan on getting married. At that point, your decision not to get married affects not just you and your significant other. You may be able to ignore the look down and sh*t talking from Hmong society, but your child/children may not and that may have a negative impact on them.

Regardless of marital status, if your not together with your children's father or mother, you're bound to get ridiculed in Hmong society, wouldn't you agree?

I believe your children grow up depending on the way you raise them; who they become have very little baring on how society views them.

But yes, I do agree that my decision to not wed my children's father will impact my children on a personal level, as in the case of a divorce.

Question from me to you.
If you're not planning on getting marry, why in the world would you want to bring a child into this awful forsaking planet.
You know tat you're only making it worst for the both of you. At the end, you'll be hubbyless and your chuld would be fatherless. Coz there's no tie that binds you together. Accpet the court and child care. At the end no one wants a single lady with an extra package.

See, the bigger picture here is, not every men nor is very many men, that isn't your husband, reliable to raise a child. I, specifically, wouldn't expect a man that I hardly know but had sex with to be supportive of me having his child. Most likely, he'll opt for abortion.

Assuming that you're male and you impregnant some woman you hardly know, what will the odds be, frankly?  

Your question about why get in a relationship if you don't plan on getting married is rhetorical as, why have sex if you don't intend to make love, or have children?

I am glad and thankful for the court system and child support, that way, any bastard that does impregnant any woman and plans to run, will have a miserable life.

[foromosa]

Regardless of marital status, if your not together with your children's father or mother, you're bound to get ridiculed in Hmong society, wouldn't you agree?

I believe your children grow up depending on the way you raise them; who they become have very little baring on how society views them.

But yes, I do agree that my decision to not wed my children's father will impact my children on a personal level, as in the case of a divorce.


See, the bigger picture here is, not every men nor is very many men, that isn't your husband, reliable to raise a child. I, specifically, wouldn't expect a man that I hardly know but had sex with to be supportive of me having his child. Most likely, he'll opt for abortion.

Assuming that you're male and you impregnant some woman you hardly know, what will the odds be, frankly?   

Your question about why get in a relationship if you don't plan on getting married is rhetorical as, why have sex if you don't intend to make love, or have children?

I am glad and thankful for the court system and child support, that way, any bastard that does impregnant any woman and plans to run, will have a miserable life.

Of course having divorced parents impacts a child's life. However, in this specific instance, we are NOT speaking of that. You asked whether it would be selfish if you brought a child into this world knowing you do not desire marriage from the child's father. The answer is YES. But I'm sure you already knew that. 

You can think what you want. If you want to live in your own world where society doesn't influence your children you can do so.

Just remember that the next time you try dieting to slim down, or try to learn make-up tips from some girl off of youtube.

Better yet, next time when you ask a question, why don't you just explain to everyone that you want a specific response to your question. One where people agree with you and support you?  Then again, what does it matter what anyone says? You are going to do what you want anyways. What's the point in asking?

[yubnag]

Of course having divorced parents impacts a child's life. However, in this specific instance, we are NOT speaking of that. You asked whether it would be selfish if you brought a child into this world knowing you do not desire marriage from the child's father. The answer is YES. But I'm sure you already knew that. 

You can think what you want. If you want to live in your own world where society doesn't influence your children you can do so.

Just remember that the next time you try dieting to slim down, or try to learn make-up tips from some girl off of youtube.

Better yet, next time when you ask a question, why don't you just explain to everyone that you want a specific response to your question. One where people agree with you and support you?  Then again, what does it matter what anyone says? You are going to do what you want anyways. What's the point in asking?

Oh, just wanted your opinions.

I didn't expect or want people to agree with me. We're only simply stating our opinions here. 

I don't see why it would be selfish to have a child but not marry his father. I wouldn't cut off the father and son tie.

[White Lotus]

Would I be very selfish if I don't want to get married and just be BF and GF for the rest of our lives, together?

We can live together and have children though.

Raising a child isn't easy.  I don't know why you want a child with a man if you are not married to him.  What if you decide to marry someone else in the future?  They say blood is thicker than water.

I personally feel that marriage is good when we want to be committed.  But if we only want to play, then remain single is best.  Play means no children.

[yubnag]

Raising a child isn't easy.  I don't know why you want a child with a man if you are not married to him.  What if you decide to marry someone else in the future?  They say blood is thicker than water.

I personally feel that marriage is good when we want to be committed.  But if we only want to play, then remain single is best.  Play means no children.

Thanks for your thoughts. Marriage is for the committed folks and children requires far more than commitment.

[Ph D wanna Be]

Thanks for your thoughts. Marriage is for the committed folks and children requires far more than commitment.

Tx for agreeing with me on kids. Having said tat if you wanna be together as a couple. Stay tat way. Until the both of u decided to tie the knot.

[aria]

Would I be very selfish if I don't want to get married and just be BF and GF for the rest of our lives, together?

We can live together and have children though.

It would only be selfish if he wants to take the next step (i.e. marriage) and you don't want to. If that is the case, might as well let him go so he can find someone who wants the same thing as him. If both of you are okay with remaining companions for the rest of your lives without getting into the whole marriage she-bang, it's not selfish because it doesn't effect anyone but the two of you.

A lot of Hmong couples out there are not legally married and they have tons of children. Which is why I personally don't see anything wrong with bringing children into the equation in your situation. But then again, they are married traditionally and they have that to bind themselves. Be prepare though as eventually kids will get to a certain age where they'll start asking why mommy and daddy aren't marry and you'll need to provide them with an answer.

[yubnag]

It would only be selfish if he wants to take the next step (i.e. marriage) and you don't want to. If that is the case, might as well let him go so he can find someone who wants the same thing as him. If both of you are okay with remaining companions for the rest of your lives without getting into the whole marriage she-bang, it's not selfish because it doesn't effect anyone but the two of you.

A lot of Hmong couples out there are not legally married and they have tons of children. Which is why I personally don't see anything wrong with bringing children into the equation in your situation. But then again, they are married traditionally and they have that to bind themselves. Be prepare though as eventually kids will get to a certain age where they'll start asking why mommy and daddy aren't marry and you'll need to provide them with an answer.

I couldn't have agreed more.

[Ph D wanna Be]

I couldn't have agreed more.

So do I. Child are cute and all, but you a lot of headaches too, wen kids get sick.. Mayn i've seen were my older bro, just go crazy. Wen the kids are between 6month- 1and2 yr old. Tat where you grow white hair quickly. So don't go bring a kid into a world were there's no love..