Divorce women with a son

[NceegVaj]

Under the Hmong rules/belief and whatever crap.. Can a divorce woman keep the son with her and set up his marriage without the help from the father?

There are two parts.  YES and NO.

YES, if your original family (brothers) supported.  They can arrange things and get it done provided you have the financial means.  The son will grow up on his own without many clanship -- for your mindset - screw those clans.

NO, because without proper recognition the marriage is not valid to wife's family without clan support.  If the wife's family is very Hmong traditional.

just my 4 cents.

[evil-in-deed]

Under the Hmong rules/belief and whatever crap.. Can a divorce woman keep the son with her and set up his marriage without the help from the father?

ok i realized that a lot of people here didnt read your question clearly and just started going off in their own world...

to answer your question about... "can a divorced hmong mother conduct her sons wedding according to hmong tradition?"... the answer is "yes"...

how?... depending on which clan the son's spirit was assigned to when the son was born... if the son was assigned to the fathers clan... then she, the mother, would have to have a small shaman ceremony for her son... to have her son's spirit join with her clan and for her clan's spirits to accept her son... as not to anger and disrespect the clans' spirits... (or her new husbands clan...)

why?... like how someone else said here... its about life marriage and death... when the son dies, the son's spirit needs a spirit clan to join with... and so forth with the son's children...

what?... if a different clan, that the son's spirit wasnt assigned to, conducts the son's life marriage and death, then the different clan's spirits will reject the son and bring bad luck to that child...

[Ph D wanna Be]

Under the Hmong rules/belief and whatever crap.. Can a divorce woman keep the son with her and set up his marriage without the help from the father?

Money talks and bullshyt walks. You have money we will come over and talk with you. No money, well I guess you have to go a meekaize then.

[DeeDee]

Under the Hmong rules/belief and whatever crap.. Can a divorce woman keep the son with her and set up his marriage without the help from the father?

yes she can but depends on the divorced woman son, wife parents. if the wife parents are old fashion then the father's help will be needed but if not, as long as they can negotiate. everything will be fine and if the woman has money. money talks everyday. 

[Tracker]

I have a stepson from my wife's first marriage.  I asked my dad if there would be any problems and he said that since I adopted my son and changed his last name, our clan would have no problem negotiating the bride price and hmong ceremony.  He's been adopted into our family and carried our last name.  I also asked if the bride's parents ask about his previous last name would that be an issue.  He flatly stated that no, it wouldn't be a problem because he's now in our family and carried our last name.

His biological father doesn't want anything to do with him and gladly signed over his parental rights just so that he wouldn't have to pay the child support money...which was a paltry amount.   

[Smiley]

New place and time.  I would hope that by now, and more, by the time my own kids are old enough to get married that people will be more modern and won't bring this issue up.  A woman is just as capable.  Besides, hmong traditional marriage are not even recognized.  As long as they hit the court, doesn't matter what any old minded person says.