Dr. Pebhmong: What to do?

[parana]

I've been in a relationship for 4 years with this beautiful woman and the more she pressured me to to marry her, the more I want to pull myself out totally. I'm not afraid of commitment.  I'm just wondering if she's the one God/yawm saub gave me.  What to do?

[Peachy Fish]

After 4 yrs, you're still unsure whether she's the one or not?  

Tell her how her pressuring you had made you feel.

Maybe you should think about giving yourself a deadline of 1 yr or so...tell her that after that yr. if you haven't asked her to marry you, you 2 can part. This way, she won't feel like she's wasting her time on someone who may never ask her to marry.

[Gawmp]

naw man she aint the one for you...just keep on tapping that arse till you're bord of it then let her go...I'd say at most another 2 years and you'll want a new one.

[boO]

Why are you still with her? Afraid of being alone?

Please if you cannot commit to her stop wasting her time.

[foromosa]

Why are you still with her? Afraid of being alone?

Please if you cannot commit to her stop wasting her time.

X2 

[Gemini]

I've been in a relationship for 4 years with this beautiful woman and the more she pressured me to to marry her, the more I want to pull myself out totally. I'm not afraid of commitment.  I'm just wondering if she's the one God/yawm saub gave me.  What to do?

Qhov no tsis yog ib yam khoom uas yuav poob rau yus xubntiag yoojyim. Qhov no yog koj txoj kev xaiv. Tus pojniam twg zoo txaus rau koj yuav ces koj yeej yuav lawm tiamsi zoo li koj tus hluas nkauj yog ib yam khoom uasi rau koj xwb. Koj tsis xav ua lub neej tiag nrog nws.

[yuknowthat]

if her personality fits you and being beautiful is a plus..why not? i would..

[midnight_mystery]

Did you at least let her know that she can go marry anyone who she thinks is also right for her. It may sound bad but at least you give her some options instead of just waiting for you.

Don’t you think it is selfish to just let her wait forever and then what if you decided not to marry her in the end. How would she feel? How would you feel if you were in her place? All that year(s) of waiting and nothing happened.

In my opinion at least give her some choices or a date, so that she wouldn’t feel like she “might” be waiting for nothing.

If you’re not ready to marry her at least let us and especially her know why. Are you not finically ready, mentally, physically? Let us know so maybe we can give you our inputs.

[dianahmuas]

I've been in a relationship for 4 years with this beautiful woman and the more she pressured me to to marry her, the more I want to pull myself out totally. I'm not afraid of commitment.  I'm just wondering if she's the one God/yawm saub gave me.  What to do?

koj, my dear parana--tseem xav txog seb nws puas yuav yog koj tus "tav"...yog li ntawv ces, tej zaum nws tsis yog tiag...

lastly...koj txhob tuav nws "tis" yog koj tsis xav nrog nws...ua ib siab es cia nws ya mus ntsib kev kaj siab...

[winerice]

4 years and you're still wondering if she's the one for you? If you don't see yourself with that person then i suggest you need to let her know. Why waste times when you can look elsewhere..... ..

I've been in a relationship for 4 years with this beautiful woman and the more she pressured me to to marry her, the more I want to pull myself out totally. I'm not afraid of commitment.  I'm just wondering if she's the one God/yawm saub gave me.  What to do?

[parana]

4 years and you're still wondering if she's the one for you? If you don't see yourself with that person then i suggest you need to let her know. Why waste times when you can look elsewhere..... ..

dear, I have told her that she should go on but she said that once she has started something, she does not back down that easily unless I give her no other options .  A smart and capable Hmong woman.  I doubt I'll find a beautiful Hmong woman as her if I should let her go.  However, i do believe that happiness has less to do with physical beauties than people think.  No? 

Charles and Camila Parker Bowles, anyone  ?

[parana]

koj, my dear parana--tseem xav txog seb nws puas yuav yog koj tus "tav"...yog li ntawv ces, tej zaum nws tsis yog tiag...

lastly...koj txhob tuav nws "tis" yog koj tsis xav nrog nws...ua ib siab es cia nws ya mus ntsib kev kaj siab...

darling, I'm not tuav nws tus "tis".  I've stressed the importance of her spreading her wings when she graduated from college  .

[parana]

Qhov no tsis yog ib yam khoom uas yuav poob rau yus xubntiag yoojyim. Qhov no yog koj txoj kev xaiv. Tus pojniam twg zoo txaus rau koj yuav ces koj yeej yuav lawm tiamsi zoo li koj tus hluas nkauj yog ib yam khoom uasi rau koj xwb. Koj tsis xav ua lub neej tiag nrog nws.

You're a thoughtful person, gemini. 

[parana]

After 4 yrs, you're still unsure whether she's the one or not?  

Tell her how her pressuring you had made you feel.

Maybe you should think about giving yourself a deadline of 1 yr or so...tell her that after that yr. if you haven't asked her to marry you, you 2 can part. This way, she won't feel like she's wasting her time on someone who may never ask her to marry.

peachy, she has nothing to waste.  told her how I feel when she was "pressuring" me to say "I do" many times already.

[parana]

You wouldn't have doubts if she was the one.

you might be right.  In fact, I am meant to be a "left over" single Hmong male  .