funeral of divorced hmong females

[evil-in-deed]

I have yet to see Hmong people making it easy for the deceased.   

When it comes to funeral, Hmong people would go as far as hating one another.  I think some of the practices are too outdated and would need to be revamped. 

Whether the deceased person is single or divorced, its the last shred of respect to send that person off in a peaceful/amicable manner. 

It would be awesome if we can simply the way we look at things, especially Hmong marriages and funerals.

maybe its the people more so than the ceremonies...

[cyang]

Good subject....I need to know one of these days ....

[morninglory]

I agree that it's the ex-wife family's responsibility .

Also, spending the money they give you for your wedding doesnt mean that your parents didnt raise you well or you are not ready to get married. That is very narrow-minded. Those money are suppose to help the couple start their life together, not to save for their funeral. 

[Venuz]

There are organizations in MN and WI that are working on this issue alone. That's because people these days just don't let go everything completely and some just don't finish things before they take off. For example, a lady and her husband have been fighting about a divorce; they have not finalized it with the two sides of the relatives yet, but she has taken off with another boyfriend. Meanwhile she got into an accident that killed her. Now her husband isn't willing to be responsible for her funeral; neither does her father's clan, since they felt that she was still the husband's wife.

What do we do about such situations? Good question.  It's not just the money for the funeral. Some times life insurance takes care of that. For the Hmong, a funeral is more than costs: it's spiritual and social issues, too.

Very good response    Sometimes we don't think about spiritual and social issues, but like or not it's a big part of the Hmong culture.

[Honey]

I've seen many issue arise depending on one's belief. If you are traditional, and the divorce was official (in the fact that they have sorted it out with both sides and the wife's side has called her spirit back with their clan), then her family is responsible for her funeral. If they separated, but her side of the family did not correctly call her spirit back with her clan, her clan may forbid  her family from taking care of the funeral because that may bring bad luck to the clan. In which case, her clan will believe that her ex-husband's side must bare the responsibiliti es.

If she is a Christian and attends church regularly, her church will bare the responsibility . But if she is not a regular and is not active, they may not help.

If you want it done traditionally and neither party wants to help, I have seen people hire professional/experts come help them with the funeral (usually done by the children). Or if she is truly a Christian but just never went, just throw a simple quick christian funeral (again, usually done by the children).

[shesaid]

Perhaps she can convert to Poj Koob Yawm Ntxwd...

watch starting at 10:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-WqN4lCGTU&feature=feedu

[Xyooj96]

I agree that it's the ex-wife family's responsibility .

Also, spending the money they give you for your wedding doesnt mean that your parents didnt raise you well or you are not ready to get married. That is very narrow-minded. Those money are suppose to help the couple start their life together, not to save for their funeral. 

it's called nyiaj qab nas, go learn something