Stay with bf of 8 years or new guy?

[MR. A]

Once a straying heart always a straying heart...just waiting for the perfect opportunity

[Toua]

and then come back and tell us how much greener the grass is on the other side..   the saddest part is, her BF( soon to be ex) will mostly take her back after a FAILED relationship with the new guy

[Toua]

base on your "feeling" you will be divorced one day no matter who you married.

cuz after a while with the new guy, she will lose the butterflies in the stomach and feel that way with another dude.. goes on........in a circle..

[Toua]

I thought about that as well. How could the née guy trust me if I was doing this behind my bf's back? If we do get together he might not trust me, that's why I decided to tell him that I had a bf and turned down dinner. He obviously sees something in me, he told me straight ip that hes not the type to steal other man's woman. Which I think is great, because it's shows that he respects me and my bf to know his boundaries, as do I. Which just makes me want to get o know him more. I've never felt this way towards a guy! I feel like a bad person for having these thoughts about another man, but I can't stop my heart. I've tried.

you've already crossed the inevitable.. It's only a matter of time before you leave your current BF for the new guy. The new guy just BS'ing.. Deep down, he wants you to drop your BF for him... He's not even thinking about, "what if she does the same to me..." at the moment until down the road..

Screw everything and dump your current BF already.. You're already thinking this far, might as well finish what your started. God won't punish you.. The only person who will punish you is really yourself..

[Toua]

Just do it already.......

[Toua]

8 yrs dating, 24 and 26 yrs old! Time to move on, it's obvious you and your bf ain't meant to be together anyways. 8 years is a long time. He should've proposed to you at year 5 of your relationship. In my view, your bf don't really love you either. If he truly loved you, he would of step up and marry you a long time ago. Like the saying goes, why buy the cow when you can have free milk. He just using you for fun and sex. Besides, the grass is always GREENER on the other sides, if you find the right person to love and receive love back. Good luck on your life, love.

well, isn't it a good thing he didn't??? Marriage doesn't automatically make things better. Some people are so lame.. They would say things like, "if i would've married her, she would've never left me... or we would've worked out.." BS... marriage isn't a guaranteed. I'd rather have a break up vs a divorce anyday

[tokio]

One thing I hate most is a girl that goes the distance like that and then dumps him like a piece of chit for some selfish agendas.  You should be proud to have a guy like that who takes you for the good and the bad, people like them are hard to come by.  Glad you went the right way.

[obscurity]

what ever you do, for god sakes let the bf go first before exploring as people suggest, no dating no dinners no meet up till you dump the bf, you at least owe him that much for 8 years of so so feelings and leading him on like that

if you already doubt now, what will happen later after the next butteflies ? you'll come up with the same thing again

in anycase you basically settle for him, kinda unfair to him i think but whatever

[clould]

Justakiss,

You mentioned that your bf said he's not ready to get marry. You should clearify with him about what it is that he's not ready. My opinion is that if he's not in school, just keep working part time, and keeps telling you that he's not financially ready, then that's not true. There are many reasons for this scenario, but the main possible one is that you are not the one for him, but he still needs you for something. For a guy whom knows you for that long and love you that much (as you thought), would has asked you first or already said yes to marriage when you asked.  I do hope that it's not this possibility in your case.

From your small, initial paragraph, it seems like you are mature and ready to settle down. However, your bf is still immature and not ready to settle down. *411, a guy at 25yrs old would know what he wants and either is mature or starting to mature. If he isn't, then it would take more than a dynamite to get him to mature.* If that's the case along with your changed feelings, then it maybe best for you to end the relationship and move on.

As for the new fond love, hang out with him and see how things unfold. Everyone is very nice, pleasant, and all that in a bag of chip when you first know that person. Get to know the real him and see if he's what you'll looking for. As for the butterfly feelings you have for this new person, like someone above me said, you had them because you think he's good looking. Looks will only carry you so far, especially when you want a mature relationship.

Take some time to think about your life, about you and your future. Do what you feel is right and would not regret later.

[ziggie]

did you tell your bf about your dinner date?