ultimatum...

[Delete]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

[Sweet_Tears]

I think all of us has some sort of expectations. He was just telling you what his are. You just have to respect them, at least they are telling you in advance. So, now it's up to you if you want to stay or not. It's that simple.

[cyang]

Bye bye then, he's still a mama's boy...it's hard enough to just with him and now u gotta deal with more of his family...espec ially when ur relationship is in trouble..

[Delete]

I think he feel that it's his responsibility to take care of his parents, 'cause all the other brothers doesn't want to do it. I don't think you need to say that to a girl, you should put your life first before your parents, whatever happen after you married her, you'll deal it then. Some girls are understandable, they don't have problem living with in-law, but to put the question before starting a relationship, it feels like he already choosing his parents over you, and there will only be more problem.

And this is not my problem, a cousin is doing that and I told him, he will never find a wife.

[Sweet_Tears]

I think he feel that it's his responsibility to take care of his parents, 'cause all the other brothers doesn't want to do it. I don't think you need to say that to a girl, you should put your life first before your parents, whatever happen after you married her, you'll deal it then. Some girls are understandable, they don't have problem living with in-law, but to put the question before starting a relationship, it feels like he already choosing his parents over you, and there will only be more problem.

And this is not my problem, a cousin is doing that and I told him, he will never find a wife.

Some people will tell you right up front though. They will lay down all their cards. Then it will be up to you to decided. It's not even the guys that will do that but also girls as well.

[foromosa]

I think he feel that it's his responsibility to take care of his parents, 'cause all the other brothers doesn't want to do it. I don't think you need to say that to a girl, you should put your life first before your parents, whatever happen after you married her, you'll deal it then. Some girls are understandable, they don't have problem living with in-law, but to put the question before starting a relationship, it feels like he already choosing his parents over you, and there will only be more problem.

And this is not my problem, a cousin is doing that and I told him, he will never find a wife.

I don't see a problem with him telling a girl what he expects.

The worst thing that can happen is you get into a serious relationship only to find out that he is expecting to live with and take care of his parents and that is not something (you as a woman) want to do.

Some women do not mind the thought of living with in laws. By stating his intentions, he is more inclined to find a girl more suited for his needs.

[tetrapod]

I think he feel that it's his responsibility to take care of his parents, 'cause all the other brothers doesn't want to do it. I don't think you need to say that to a girl, you should put your life first before your parents, whatever happen after you married her, you'll deal it then. Some girls are understandable, they don't have problem living with in-law, but to put the question before starting a relationship, it feels like he already choosing his parents over you, and there will only be more problem.

And this is not my problem, a cousin is doing that and I told him, he will never find a wife.

A wife from Laos will fit him.

[primetime]

I think all of us has some sort of expectations. He was just telling you what his are. You just have to respect them, at least they are telling you in advance. So, now it's up to you if you want to stay or not. It's that simple.

Yeah

[woofwoof]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

Why do you have to live with him just for dating him?  I understand if you ask you to marry him, but dating and you have to live with him, WTF?  Explain?

[Lady_Fallin]

Of course.   It shows he cares about his family, something I admire in seeking for a potential mate.  He's honest, and to the point. Let's hope we all get along.

I'm dating the youngest son.  I already know we will be taking care of his mom. I'm cool with that. She's a cool lady.

It always bugs me when girls talk bad about their future in laws... Makes me wonder how they will feel if the same is said towards their own parents. Blah. Knew a few girls who had bfs like that... They decide to marry, but can't handle it and want to leave the relationship.  Tsk, tsk, tsk. You should have known from the start. Then there's the cousin who b itch talk about the bf's mom all the time.  The girl hasn't even met her, or talked to her, and yet already have this preconceived notion that she's bad. O_o

Blah. If you love your parents, you will learn to respect all other parents... well, those who deserve it anyways.

[Delete]

Hmmm...good to know. I guess he will eventually find the girl who meet his expectations.

[yes]

I think it's great that he questions that. He's obviously a family oriented guy who loves his parents and wants to marry someone who's in the same boat and is willing to care for them as they get old and cant care for themselves.

[potus]

he's a responsible son who knows his duties as a hmong man.  some of you women will always find fault with a guy no matter what.  nitpick the hell out of someone when they're doing the right thing.  

[DonJuan]

Yep. He is honest in what he wants. Nothing wrong with taking care of his parents. But if it's not your cup of tea, then GET OUT!

[yuknowthat]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

it's not an ultimatum..he basically warning you before getting serious because he takes his relationship seriously..at least he lays his cards out to you because he don't want to waste his time obviously and probably give you time to think about it not playing games with your mind....so if later on down the road you complain about the relationship. he already told you and warned you in the beginning to start with so be warned...and no it's not being a momma's boy...it's being responsible person..nor they're not choosing you over their parents or their parents over you..just don't feel bad he doesn't like your family and want anything to do with them but you..