ultimatum...

[DeceiversChick]

That's not an ultimatum. He's basically letting you know upfront about the situation.

I wouldn't mind if he has a backbone to be a man.

[No regret]

Hmmm...good to know. I guess he will eventually find the girl who meet his expectations.

Are you miss very high maintenance and bittchy who can't live with no elders.,,?

[J.]

I think he feel that it's his responsibility to take care of his parents, 'cause all the other brothers doesn't want to do it. I don't think you need to say that to a girl, you should put your life first before your parents, whatever happen after you married her, you'll deal it then. Some girls are understandable, they don't have problem living with in-law, but to put the question before starting a relationship, it feels like he already choosing his parents over you, and there will only be more problem.

And this is not my problem, a cousin is doing that and I told him, he will never find a wife.

One of my nyabs, my brother's wife and him, still live under the parent's homestead. Nothing wrong with that. Everybody pitch in and help each other out. But someday when any more of my brothers gets married, or there are more grandkids, the brothers and their wives will have no choice but to move out. The parents usually will choose which son they want to live with and it's not always with the eldest son or the youngest son either. Some parents will even live with the daughter and the son-in-law too, depending on who is the most reliable and responsible one in the family. Situations will vary.

[Delete]

Are you miss very high maintenance and bittchy who can't live with no elders.,,?

It's not about me. The way I see it, a lot of young girls these days are so call "americanize" and don't understand Hmong parents. Perhaps people who answer this questions are in their late 20 to 30 and already married so they already wise enough to accept parents. Don't get me wrong, in the marriage/family forum, there's lots of people come in to complain about living with in-law. Hmong girls can adapt to in-law pretty easy but sometime in-law don't give them the benefit of the doubt, I'm not sure if the younger generation can handle that.
But if you really want to know, I don't have problem living with my in-law; I believe that out of all SIL I will be the one to take my in-law in the end. Just throwing questions out there, since many say there won't be a problem, than there's hope for the cousin.

[thePoster]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

haha well then,

I guess love can't conquer everything.

Cheezez!  Who'd thought that it'd be living with the s/o's parents that'd be the downfall of love!?!?!  hahaha oh wells.

[yuknowthat]

haha well then,

I guess love can't conquer everything.

Cheezez!  Who'd thought that it'd be living with the s/o's parents that'd be the downfall of love!?!?!  hahaha oh wells.

lol love just don't cut it when you're in reality check and not in your little own fantasy world..hahaha 

It's not about me. The way I see it, a lot of young girls these days are so call "americanize" and don't understand Hmong parents. Perhaps people who answer this questions are in their late 20 to 30 and already married so they already wise enough to accept parents. Don't get me wrong, in the marriage/family forum, there's lots of people come in to complain about living with in-law. Hmong girls can adapt to in-law pretty easy but sometime in-law don't give them the benefit of the doubt, I'm not sure if the younger generation can handle that.
But if you really want to know, I don't have problem living with my in-law; I believe that out of all SIL I will be the one to take my in-law in the end. Just throwing questions out there, since many say there won't be a problem, than there's hope for the cousin.

lol wrong seen many who talks and thinks that they know it all but their actions are totally different..hah ah with the mindset of a 10 year old girl stuck in a late 20's body of a woman..because they're too into their fantasy world of me, myself and I and if my hubby don't do what i say i don't care.. Any in law won't give you any benefit of a doubt..with that answer to help them quit doubting you is do what you have to do what's good for them and you and they'll start seeing the nice side of you..

[No regret]

It's not about me. The way I see it, a lot of young girls these days are so call "americanize" and don't understand Hmong parents. Perhaps people who answer this questions are in their late 20 to 30 and already married so they already wise enough to accept parents. Don't get me wrong, in the marriage/family forum, there's lots of people come in to complain about living with in-law. Hmong girls can adapt to in-law pretty easy but sometime in-law don't give them the benefit of the doubt, I'm not sure if the younger generation can handle that.
But if you really want to know, I don't have problem living with my in-law; I believe that out of all SIL I will be the one to take my in-law in the end. Just throwing questions out there, since many say there won't be a problem, than there's hope for the cousin.

i was just kidding, even as guy i know it's a bittch living with in-law parents.  Very few are ok to live with, others will bring many headaches.

[Sweet_Tears]

Let's just say that it takes a very patience person to live with the inlaws. Not all inlaws are livable. Alot of marriages fall out because of the inlaws.

[Gemini]

That kind of statement speak volumes about the dynamics of his family and probably  his parents already have issues with other nyab in the house. Stay far away.

[softlips]

Good luck to him. I hope he finds someone who fits what he needs. That's admirable that he wants to take care of his parents and hopes to find a woman that will help him whole heartedly. You dont find a lot of men like that these days....they all wanna move out but at the same time still expect mom and dad to pay for their rent or watch their kids.

[dotdot]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

depends on you... do you like his parents...

[Christa]

Everyone has expectations. He could also be testing you too!

[clould]

Question: When you meet a guy, before he gets into a serious relationship with you, he tells you that he will only date you if you don't have problem living with his parents because his parents rather live with him than the other brothers and he can't abandon his parents. If you can't live with his parents than he can't be in a relationship with you and definitely can't marry you in the future. Would you date a guy who say that to you?

Lol. You remind me of a cousin of mine. Anyway, that's a small question but has a large consequence. If you can't truthfully say yes (to yourself), on the spot without any hesitations, then don't get serious with him. If you have second thoughts now, it will only gets bigger in time.