deciding...

[1txojsia]

You’re a widow in your mid 20s w/ children. How do you move on? Would you just hang around w/ your children until your days are up or would you look for a companion? Do you fear your new partner’s love for your children?

[ziggie]

you're still young....it's okay to move on.  if your s/o was in the same position, you would want them to move on too...life is short... live it

[DonJuan]

Right to the point. Stop the hmongness. Kids are priorities. If a guy happens to come along the way. Great. Otherwise, after the kids. A relationship is much tougher with a previous marriage. You are not ready, and the kids are not. It's not about you, it's about the kids.

I know I am wasting my time. And you'll end up hmongness. Married And more likely will be miserable because most Hmong are sooo freaking empty and selfish. Hey! At least, I told you.

Since you'll end up getting married Anyway. Choose wisely.

[MSV]

You know, I can't say which route is better for you but how about I tell you a different perspective.

When my dad passed, my mom decided she didn't want to remarry. She wanted to spend her life taking care of us kids so we'd never question why our life wasn't like others or how come we didn't have this and that. It's been almost 10 yrs. since that decision and sometimes I wonder what's going on in my mom's head. I always wonder if she'd be happier with a companion? There's only so much children can provide for their windowed parent and it gets to me sometimes. I've even hinted to my mom that we would be okay if she wanted to find someone to be by her side. She still shakes her head and insist she wants to raise us well on her own. Part of it might be like what you have mentioned about "fearing partner's love for one's children". I know I've had conversations with her about hearing stories of how step-fathers molested their step-daughters. I bet that gets her thinking and she just scratches the idea of remarrying out even more. If anything, I'd want my mom to be happy. I know she often gets lonely and I get sad about it. 

Although DonJuan comes off a little harsh and direct there, he does make a few good points. Since your children are still young, it might be wise that you focus on making sure they are on their two own feet first. I think if my mom had taken the other route and married when my siblings and I were still pretty young, my life wouldn't be where it is now. Now that we've managed to find our paths, we've given my mom two thumbs up and assured her we'd be okay if she wanted to ever find a partner or remarry.

[divagrl]

your still young, life too short, if u feel like u need to find a partner go for it. Remember that uor kids will always come frist.. what IF he/she doesn't love uor kids? u have to question that to uorself, they may love uor kids when uor present, when uor out at work or something, they may not love uor kids like their own....  yeej tu siab heev los mas.. zoo li cov laus hais os, niam muaj txiv, me nyuam tsis muaj txiv hlub, txiv muaj niam los me nyuam tsis muaj niam hlub.. xav zoo zoo es mas li ua 

[Sweet_Tears]

All I can say is that don't close your door to love when it comes knocking. You are still young so don't deprive yourself of such happiness. One day all your kids will grow up and have their own life. You will be alone and become a lonely widow.

[DonJuan]

All I can say is that don't close your door to love when it comes knocking. You are still young so don't deprive yourself of such happiness. One day all your kids will grow up and have their own life. You will be alone and become a lonely widow.

Happiness is over rated. It's about taking care of your kids who are not emotionally or mentally ready to look after themselves.  You have the right to look for love but that doesn't mean it's the wise choice.
If you do, do pick a person who would love and treat your kids as his.  That means date him for a long time. Until you are sure, do not introduce him to your kids.

[dianahmuas]

You’re a widow in your mid 20s w/ children. How do you move on? Would you just hang around w/ your children until your days are up or would you look for a companion? Do you fear your new partner’s love for your children?

if i could be in that shoe...i would live it up freely without a man in my life...screw them all...because i just need my children and adult toys...

[Sweet_Tears]

Happiness is over rated. It's about taking care of your kids who are not emotionally or mentally ready to look after themselves.  You have the right to look for love but that doesn't mean it's the wise choice.
If you do, do pick a person who would love and treat your kids as his.  That means date him for a long time. Until you are sure, do not introduce him to your kids.

Wth? hahaha... people who love eachother are always happy. They do have their down moments but majority of the time they are happy. When you look at happily married people eyes.. you can see the love they have for eachother. They don't even have to say it to you. Their actions show it. Honestly, I know that a lot of our hmong women give up their happiness to stay with the children and to care for them. Not saying that they aren't happy being with the kids.. but I know that everyone need love from the opposite sex. It gets lonely after a while when you have no one to confide in or to do things with. Your kids will always be there for you but it's a different feeling. If your kids are still young, you have to be careful in who you date or introduce to your kids. Some men are not that great around kids... like many of the stories that we see/hear on the news.

[reAP]

if i could be in that shoe...i would live it up freely without a man in my life...screw them all...because i just need my children and adult toys...

Why so bitter?  One bad man does not equal all bad men.  Most of us are good and want nothing more than to worship the right woman (with kids or not).  Hang in there.  

[divagrl]

Why so bitter?  One bad man does not equal all bad men.  Most of us are good and want nothing more than to worship the right woman (with kids or not).  Hang in there.  

reAP, maybe no guys haven't  show us women's  that all guys are not the same! lol

[dianahmuas]

Why so bitter?  One bad man does not equal all bad men.  Most of us are good and want nothing more than to worship the right woman (with kids or not).  Hang in there. 

reAP, maybe no guys haven't  show that all guys are not the same! lol

 

[reAP]

reAP, maybe no guys haven't  show us women's  that all guys are not the same! lol

Again to all the women, have faith.  A good man will find you.

[Sweet_Tears]

Again to all the women, have faith.  A good man will find you.

Why do people worry about finding someone so much? Just concentrate on living your life.

[divagrl]

Again to all the women, have faith.  A good man will find you.

Why do people worry about finding someone so much? Just concentrate on living your life.

  of course living uor life to the fullest lol