Single for 10 years.

[kaiyu]

So I saw this blog awhile back, I think it's one of  my older cousin, but I can be wrong, how do you help someone with this issue...I really hope I don't end up like him..geesh:

"I have been single for ten years and I absolutely hate myself for allowing it to happen. When I was in my twenties and early 30's, I was really prolific with women, but now I have totally lost all my self esteem and confidence. I feel that by being single since '02, the damage is already done and Iv'e waisted my 30's (I'm 39 now) and a big part of my young life, and I absolutely hate myself for it. I think of myself as a failure with girls and someone who has ruined their life by being single this long. It completely dominates my thoughts and I suffer very badly with anxiety because of it to the point where some nights I hardly sleep. Also the longer it goes on, the more anxious I become and the more resentful I become of myself because I feel I've wrecked my life because it's too late.

If anybody has had similar experiences or is in the same position, maybe it would help a bit"

[zaubmos]

Its wasted not waisted ....tell him to go to Laos

[thePoster]

well I bet he's probably not in shape.


He could probably stand to lose 20 lbs.


What he needs to do is go to the gym and pump iron and get lean and fit and get his 8 hours of sleep.  It'll get his testosterone levels up and he'll feel like a man agian who's sole mission in life is just to bang girls.

He's lost his manliness!  That's all it is, he just needs to get it back!!!

[foromosa]

The first step is to stop with the pity party and self loathing.

Then he needs to go out more.

This is much easier said than done, but you have to start somewhere.

[MSV]

He doesn't even seem like he has the will to build a relationship with any women. If anything women want in a man...it's some confidence. It's too depressing trying to be with someone who thinks of himself as a failure. As humans, we are often the reflection of who we spend our days with. It would horrible if he dragged a good woman into the state he is in too.

Word of advice to your cousin...Don't sit around and expect good things to always come. Often times you will have to get yourself out there and see what opportunities await you. I guess for someone who's stepped out of the dating/courting world for 10 yrs, it's hard to jump back in but definitely not impossible. If you get too uncomfortable or anxious, it doesn't hurt to stop and take a few breaths. No is rushing you. Go at your own pace. Believe in accomplishment s! Cliche but it really does work. Do whatever you gotta do to remain positive. Your first step would be to not look down on yourself. Get rid of all those dark energy..it'll just tire you out.

Good luck! 

[tetrapod]

So I saw this blog awhile back, I think it's one of  my older cousin, but I can be wrong, how do you help someone with this issue...I really hope I don't end up like him..geesh:

"I have been single for ten years and I absolutely hate myself for allowing it to happen. When I was in my twenties and early 30's, I was really prolific with women, but now I have totally lost all my self esteem and confidence. I feel that by being single since '02, the damage is already done and Iv'e waisted my 30's (I'm 39 now) and a big part of my young life, and I absolutely hate myself for it. I think of myself as a failure with girls and someone who has ruined their life by being single this long. It completely dominates my thoughts and I suffer very badly with anxiety because of it to the point where some nights I hardly sleep. Also the longer it goes on, the more anxious I become and the more resentful I become of myself because I feel I've wrecked my life because it's too late.

If anybody has had similar experiences or is in the same position, maybe it would help a bit"

I have beens single all my life.  Tell him not to worry. 

Do not compare yourself to others.  I still drive a rusty old car.

[ziggie]

have confidence 

[yubnag]

Being single isn't the problem.

Lacking confidence and being self loathing is unhealthy.

[Hung_Low]

I have beens single all my life.  Tell him not to worry. 

Do not compare yourself to others.  I still drive a rusty old car.

Being single is awesome... there's no baggages, free to do whatever you want, go anywhere..

[DeceiversChick]

Sounds like he's an emo type of guy and no women likes that. He probably lacks social and dating skills. He needs to surround himself with some single buddies to teach him a few tricks on how to court a girl. The problem is he needs to learn how to maintain the relationship.

[2Wicked]

bro....  my advice is LAOS or THAILAND.

at that age and if you're picky you can not find a woman that wants to be with you.

[LELIA]

Truth is.. he probably knows exactly what he's looking for but hasn't found it. Tell him to come here cause there are great people here who can give him pointers:)

[Lady_Fallin]

I think I've said this before... but...

Ever lost something, and then you went crazy looking for it? But when you stopped, it appeared?

Or... maybe he should try a different place form his usual hang out spots.

[HmongKnight]

Dude, I"ve been single longer than you but I"m happy. One thing that keep me going is that I have friends with benefits.. LOL As long as you have those, being single is much better. But on a serious note, one thing that always stick in the back of my mind is that, when I"m ready to settle down and can't find a decent Hmong woman over here to get marry to, I'll go to Laos and get an even better looking one, younger, and sexier over there.

[Lavender]

Its wasted not waisted ....tell him to go to Laos

Yes, I agree.  When all else fail in America, go to the third world country and find your dream love woman there.  When America leaves you no hope, Lao has plenty of hopes and dreams awaiting for you to make them come true.

Good luck