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Author Topic: Vim kuv tsis paub.  (Read 83470 times)

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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #45 on: January 04, 2012, 10:20:31 AM »


I have so many questions I don’t have the answer to. Puas yog nws pom kuv tsis zoo nkauj es nws tsis nyiam kuv lawm? Puas yog nws tu siab tias kuv tsis kam txhoj puab nrog nws hmo ntawd? Puas yog tias nws lam txias kuv txog tas no seb kuv puas kam nws saj kuv ib thib? Puas yog nws twb muaj hluas nkauj los yog poj niam es lam dag kuv xwb? He was such a good man in my eyes….the only one who really knew how to ntxias kuv when I cried.

I’m suppressing this hurt inside of me. I know it’s there but I don’t want it to surface cause it’ll just make tears fall. I’ve been masking it up these past few days and I thought keeping busy would mean it won’t cross my mind so much but it’s catching up to me. I feel it tugging at my heart. Damnit! Why can’t I control anything?

Nws siab phem ua luaj….mus ntsiag to tsis hais ib los txog tav no.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #46 on: January 04, 2012, 09:45:35 PM »
1 hour of Just Dance 3 on wii with my older sister followed by 30 minutes on the elliptical. It feels great. The shower after a sweaty workout was even better! I hope I can keep this up. :)

I had dinner at 4:30 and now it's 9:40ish and my stomach is about to growl. Damn. No late night snack. I'll just ignore it. Eventually that fatass will cry itself to sleep. lol. Must resist it.....fightin ggggggggggggg! It's so hard in the beginning.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #47 on: January 05, 2012, 09:45:50 PM »
Another hour of dancing on wii followed by an hour of aerobics and weight lifting. Awesome! My muscles are getting better. I can hold up longer than before. Yesssssssssss.




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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #48 on: January 09, 2012, 09:36:05 PM »
Spent the weekend helping out at a relative's funeral. That made me lose three days of working out. As a result, I was just itchin' to break a sweat. :( I made up for it tonight. Almost 1.5 hr of JUST DANCE followed by 30 mins on elliptical and 15 mins weight lifting. It's so tiring but I keep thinking about that nice shower and cups of water I'll award myself with afterwards and I keep pushing and pushing to the very end. Gosh! Why did I let myself gain that weight? I worked so hard to work it off once and now I'm trying to lose it again. I don't have a goal set but I just want to be active rather than just sit around and be one fatass. Fighting!

.....

I realized that in order for me to even be attracted to a guy he must.....

1. Have a full-time job.
2. Own his own car.
3. Be ambitious and set goals for himself every year.
4. Know how to speak Hmong.

Is it really that hard to find them?



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #49 on: January 10, 2012, 11:44:19 AM »
I was getting ready for work and while in the midst of brushing my teeth this morning, my list of ""minimum qualification" came to me. The boy has to have good hygiene...espe cially when it comes to teeth. Sometimes I look at guys with yellow teeth or bad stains and think to myself, "Is someone really kissing those lips?" lol. Oyo.

.....

I had a nice phone conversation with my mom last night. She was asking me a lot of stuff and eventually we got into talking about marriage again. I wonder if she's disappointed in me because I'm not hitched? Tej zaum nws tsis kam hais tabsis nws twb tag kev cia siab tias nws niag ntxhais dab tuag li kuv no yuav tsis nrog luag muaj txiv thiab poj. :-[ Regardless, I'm glad she doesn't push me to hurry up. If anything she wants me to be happy with my choice. Hlub hlub kuv niam li os.

Aside from the whole boys talk, we also talked about vacationing in Florida and Thailand. I want my mom to see the world. She spent so much time raising my siblings and I that I think it's time she gets to really live. Gotta work hard to save up money and take her....it's really exciting plans to have. I'm sure she more excited than I though.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #50 on: January 11, 2012, 08:28:47 AM »
Last night's progress....on e hour on elliptical, 20 mins on weights, 15 mins stretching and an hour of tv time. :) I should have done more but I don't want to overdo my routine. It might just bore the heck outta me and then I'd dread doing anything. I don't want that to happen. Just fighting this indoor workout style until the weather gets nice enough for me to be outdoors. I can't wait...

I'm so sore today. My legs definitely are hard at work. I love it though. At least it's a reminder that I'm waking up those muscles. In a few weeks I won't even feel anything anymore. It's always hard in the beginning but once I pass this stage, I can only improve what I'm already working on.

Note to self: Results come slowly.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #51 on: January 12, 2012, 09:42:41 AM »
My cheeks are hot and my hands are so cold. Dang!

Last night was crazy fun though. The ladies were hilarious. We played Taboo and laughed our pants off. :2funny: Let's just say I have never realized how much hand gestures people use when talking. lol. Sadly it wasn't a Friday night so we had to cut all the fun short. Part 2 will be this weekend. I'm excited to see them all again.

I checked my email this morning and received a rather sad email. As I was sitting in my desk reading it, the heart got worked up and the eyes started to get rather watery. Then....drip. :( I quickly wiped it off my face in case my co-workers came by and asked what was wrong. Oh how words can be so powerful sometimes. Now this email is going to be on my mind all day....it's going to bother me.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #52 on: January 13, 2012, 08:30:02 AM »
Yesterday I managed to do one whole hour on the elliptical. Half way though it, I thought I was going to pass out since I didn’t have any rice or big meal that day. Luckily I kept going to the very end. I know this one hour is nothing compared to what I did in the past but it sure seems like forever when I just stay in one place. If only it had the ability to take me places.

Add 15 mins. of toning and 15 mins of stretching too. I really still dread the whole lifting weights but I noticed I don’t wake up achy like those first few days anymore. I suppose it’s a good thing. Now I just have to make sure I keep it this way. The muscles will not get to rest. No way!

…..

I had a dream last night that I took a trip to Thailand. In it, a high school friend and I were studying abroad there. We were helping to rebuild this village. Is it my calling? I’ve always wanted to join the peace corps too. But that would mean giving up my stable job right now. Hummmm. Is it worth it?



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #53 on: January 13, 2012, 11:19:29 PM »
I didn't do any stretching today. I'm rather disappointed I skipped it since I know it's just as important to do it as any other exercise routine too. Aside from that I hopped on the elliptical for an hour and did a quick 10-15 mins worth of toning. Today was a rather lazy day. I wasn't feeling in the mood but didn't want to skip a day so I just went with it to get it over with. It was a pretty okay day.

Trying to alter my food so I can help speed up my weight loss. Added in a fruit or two a day. Been meaning to run to the store to get some nuts to munch on. That way I can stop with my chocolate cravings....

So tired. I have a wedding to go to tomorrow so I should sleep...



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #54 on: January 16, 2012, 09:04:33 PM »
Total exercise today = 1.5 hours

If it's one think I dislike, it's drunk people. Ugh! >:( Went over to my mom's and returned home to a stinky surprise. Turns out over the weekend, a bunch of the boys came over to hang with my little brother and they puked all over the bathroom trashcn and toilet after a night of crazy drinking. I was so digusted with the smell I spent today scrubbing every inch of the bathroom. I'm very germaphobic so I bleached the whole toilet, did two washes on the floor and sanitized the walls, sink and counters...Dru nks....ARG! I should put a sign up or something...th is is the second time I've had to cleanup this month. Pisses me off sometimes....I ended up biatchiing at my bro for leaving that spoiled throwup smell sitting in the bathroom for two days. YUCK! Time to enforce house rules again.


« Last Edit: January 16, 2012, 09:07:51 PM by MSV »

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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #55 on: January 17, 2012, 10:33:29 AM »


What dreams are made of.

I’ve been sleeping earlier than usual these past few nights. As a result I’ve been dreaming like crazy again. The other night I had dreamt about going to the chicken farm and fighting with African and Hmong ladies to get the plumpest chickens. In the end I only managed to get away with one who had a split breast with flesh showing. Then the night before that one I dreamt of taking my 21 yr. old sister driving. The roads were slippery and not even ones I had guts to drive on but my sister just weaved up and down the roads like it was a piece of cake. She made me look like a horrible driver with her skills. And finally last night I dreamt about getting married. All my family, friends, and even high school classmates were there but where was the groom? He somehow was missing and I was waiting on him. In the midst of it all I was also trying to light these candles but no matter how much I lit them, they kept burning out after a few seconds. I got frustrated and stopped. That’s pretty much all I could remember….what does it all mean? My mom used to tell me never go with a stranger in your dreams. Hum.



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Offline lilly

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #56 on: January 17, 2012, 04:03:17 PM »


What dreams are made of.

I’ve been sleeping earlier than usual these past few nights. As a result I’ve been dreaming like crazy again. The other night I had dreamt about going to the chicken farm and fighting with African and Hmong ladies to get the plumpest chickens. In the end I only managed to get away with one who had a split breast with flesh showing. Then the night before that one I dreamt of taking my 21 yr. old sister driving. The roads were slippery and not even ones I had guts to drive on but my sister just weaved up and down the roads like it was a piece of cake. She made me look like a horrible driver with her skills. And finally last night I dreamt about getting married. All my family, friends, and even high school classmates were there but where was the groom? He somehow was missing and I was waiting on him. In the midst of it all I was also trying to light these candles but no matter how much I lit them, they kept burning out after a few seconds. I got frustrated and stopped. That’s pretty much all I could remember….what does it all mean? My mom used to tell me never go with a stranger in your dreams. Hum.


Interesting dreams, MSV.  Fighting for the plumpest chicken... lol!  You must be craving Hmong chicken.   ;D



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #57 on: January 17, 2012, 10:45:36 PM »
Interesting dreams, MSV.  Fighting for the plumpest chicken... lol!  You must be craving Hmong chicken.   ;D

I know right! ;D The funniest part to the whole dream was that after all that "fighting" my mom pops into my dream and tells me the chicken is no good and that I should not butcher it. hahahaha. As a girl growing up, I'd often follow my mom whenever she went to the chicken farm to slaughter some chickens to store in our freezer. While there, she'd teach me what kind of chickens were perfect to catch. "Naib koj yuav tsum xaiv tus muaj zog khiav. Cov ntsoo ces mob lawm xwb. Tsis tas li ntawd, xaiv tus loj loj tabsis tsis txhob khaws tus rog dhau lawm thiab os. Cov ntawv muaj roj ntau xwb. Thaum xaiv tau lawm ces koj muab nws saib zoo zoo seb nws puas muaj kiav txhab nyob qhov twg thiab." And that's how I do it to this day. Run and chase, grab a hold of the fast one, check weight, go beneath the feathers to see if there are any fleshy wounds, sores, etc. and if all is good, it becomes mine. hehehehe. I guess it's time to pay a visit to the farm soon. Yummy chicken here I come.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #58 on: January 17, 2012, 10:53:02 PM »
1.5 hrs of aerobics and 15 mins of lifting weights. I dreaded it so much today for some reason. I wonder why? :-\

Everyone around me is either 1. Getting married or 2. Have a baby on its way. It's kinda depressing seeing so many friends move forward to their next step in life while I'm stuck here going in circles. Although I've managed to accomplish a lot, in the end I find myself still behind. I know I'm not getting any younger and time is ticking away...Sometim es I wonder what life would be like if I had taken another route other than this one. Would I be happier? Just thinking...no regrets of my decisions thus far in life though. I am here because I choose to walk the path I did.

Need to head to bed in a bit. It's back to work tomorrow.



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MSV

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Re: Vim kuv tsis paub.
« Reply #59 on: January 18, 2012, 10:35:12 PM »
Got lazy today and only managed to pull off 1.25 hrs on Just Dance 3 and 15 mins of stretching. I've been pushing myself and my abs and triceps are rather achy today. Like all others, it'll strengthen in time. In the mean time I just gotta suck it up and just live with it. Nothing I can't handle.

Went grocery shopping today and was very careful in what I was going to buy. Although everything looked so tempting, I went towards all the healthy foods. Came out with some rather good choices.

Today I found out that I kinda broke a boy's heart last year. I didn't mean for us to be anything more than friends but I guess he took our relationship the wrong way and assumed there was something more. I wonder why he never told me? He's such a great guy that I felt rather bad unintentionall y hurting him like that. He deserves a girl who'll love him....that's all I wish for him.

Another cold night....



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