To the One and Only

[yuknowthat]

[url=http://youtu.be/icwKgB6JHng]http://youtu.be/icwKgB6JHng

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Father that I truly cherish and will be part of my life forever till my last breath when i grow old. I thank you for what you've have taught me about life. So many things from the good to the bad.. I do not regret all those years i sacrifice my time discounting my education; just to take care of you when you're were sick. I miss those days, coming home from work, seeing you writing at your desk, and asking you that have you ate yet? . I know you sacrifice a lot just for your children to have what you never had. because of why you drop your education and join the military the during the french war due to no money to continuing your education,  buy food , having to live with the teacher for months to come by while grandpa and grandma they live miles and miles away, not knowing how their son is doing, is he still alive or dead, wearing the same worn out clothes and sandals.  KUV NCO KOJ UA YOG KUV TXIV COV LUS QHUA QHIA UA RAU LUB KUA MUAG POOB!..Kuv txiv koj tuag tag zoo li kuv lub neej tsau ntu nti..Los txog tsev los tsis pom koj, tsis hnov koj niaj hnub tshuab qeej tshuab raj tshuab ncas,

[yuknowthat]

ohmy! *cries** nyeem koj li ntawv tag, yuav ua rau kuv kho kho siab ua luaj li! Kuv mas, yeej nco kuv txiv kawg li thiab!. Kuv cov nus los tsev, tsis pom kuv txiv tshuab qeej tshuab raj tshuab ncas li thaum ub nws tseem nyob, mas, lawv yeej tu siab kawg li. Lawv tsis paub tshuab los, lawv lam khaws los tshuab, poob quas muas. Li no, kho thiab tu siab kawg li os.

hais tias tsis nco los yeej nco, pw los yeej ua npau suav pom..

[yuknowthat]

Hnub tshav ntuj nrhig, tej hnub zoo li nos ua kuv nco txog yam tag uas koj xav mus nyob nraum zoov, mus lim huab lim cua kom laj siab, mus mloog koj tej noog quaj, hnub no kuv nqa paj hmab pab ntoos tuaj hloov cov qub, tuaj xyua koj lub tsev , lub chaws so..nco txog koj tej lub qhuab ntuas tias "yus xav tau dabtsi los, kav tsij mus muab yus lub zog coj mus khawv thiaj yog yus li, rau siab kawm ntaub kawm ntaws, lub neej nyob teb chaws no tsis zoo li tim ub es yus xav noj ces nqa hlau mus khawb teb, yus txoj kev vam meej thiab kev khwv noj yuav nyob rau ntawm koj tus hau xaum npiv thiab yus lub laj lim tswv yim.."sigh" xav mus xav los yog li koj hais kawg..

[yuknowthat]

thanks...tryin g hard to live day by day positively

[yuknowthat]

though last night I had dreams of you visiting, i thought it was real, but it wasn't yet i did not want wake up at all..you look so healthy and happy and very energetic , not like those bad days that you have more often then good days when you were living with us. life is so much better when you were still here with us, i can seek for advice and discuss on things that i wanted to do for the future, whether is it a good choice or not, yet helps a lot to give me hints of what the outcome maybe before i even start, now it's on my own and take risk to even see a hint of what the future would be like.

[yuknowthat]

That's all we can do. NO one know how we feel until they are in our shoes.

you're right..

[yuknowthat]

and Here i was today standing again infront of where you rest. today is a cold day yet sunny ..the cemetery guys are out here again cleaning and mowing the lawn. Today seems like there's someone is about to be here too with you and the rest because they just put that house with wheels covering the fresh new hole that they dug earlier. birds chirping and i can hear your doves too..there's always one dove that fly around and lands on your tombstone every once in a while when i get there....

[yuknowthat]

http://youtu.be/rJ8qTCfd3SI

...listening to this song for three days now..reminds a lot of you dad, how you mention if you weren't sick, you'll would want to take us to go visit all the places you have live and grew up..where you and mom grew crops. you visit both of my stepmoms graves one last time before you close your eyes..which you never had a chance too because your illness is burdening you..i remember how to tell the eldest sister that if she goes visit back to homeland, to go visit her mother where you buried her mother and you put two rocks together on top of the grace..

[yuknowthat]

I know that my father would want to go back and visit his homeland. The birth place where he was born. This is the place that he want to go and reunited with the father that he has never known and his mother. A month before he passed away. He was in the bedroom packing. My mom went to see what he was doing and he was packing some clothes in his small suitecase. He packed in two of his favorite shirts. One was a Hawaiin shirt that my bil bought for him when we sent them to Hawaii 4 months ago before he passed away. He said that he want to wear those two shirts when he goes back to his homeland. He was packing as if though he was ready to go on a small mini vacation.  After he passed away.. I was saying "Maybe txiv mus txoj txiv lub tebchaw lawm".... I try to look for his homeland which is "Luang Namtha and know why he wanted to go back there... because it's so beautiful. The most beautiful place on earth.

Youknowwhat... no matter how sad our hearts are...I know that they are still with us every single day. I feel my father around me as if he is still with me...   (Thanks for sharing the song).

i too remember a couple months before my father was sick, he wanted me to pull out some of his suits out so he can take a look at them. he looked at this old gray tailored Royal Laos and Thai offical would wear one that he brought all the way from thailand for so long. i was amazed how good it he kepted it all this times...it's been 40 something years ago. He say he didn't want to wear any american ones, but that one only on the day he pass away on top of his hmong clothes. after a week he picked that one, he started being ill...everythi ng i do , just couldn't help stop it..one thing after another he was just getting sicker he couldn't eat..the day all his brothers and sisters came to visit him..he said to them in his weak voice "thaum neej nyob noj tau kav tsij noj, thaum hauv tau kav tsij haus, mauj zoo hnav kav tsij hnav txhob zoo le kuv mog, tu siab kuv tu mob tsis tso kuv tseg ces kuv yauv tsis tau nrog nej noj nej haus, nej nyob sib hlub mog"

i did say the same thing too after he passed away "tej zaum kuv txiv rov qab mus txog los tsuas lawm, lub zos ua yug nws thiab tej chaws nws nej hnub nroos txog mus xyua." i've always tried my best so i can make his wish come true to take him back before he take his last breath, but time and his sickness wouldn't let me. but one day i do wish to go visit all these places he talked about. 

[yuknowthat]

Your story brought tears to my eyes.. even though I do not know your father.. I can relate so much. After we found out that my father cancer has reoccured which was November of last year. We bought my parent a vacation pack for a week to Kaukai in January 2011. When he came back from the trip.. he couldn't stop talking about Hawaii. He said that it's so beautiful and almost like in Laos. He talked about it for a couple of months..and said that he would like to go back during hte summer time again. Than he started to get sick in March...and everything just got worse from then on. When he was so sick and couldn't even talk anymore except look at us.. I leaned over and whisper to his ears "Txiv, hnub twg koj zoo, kuv mas li cov koj nrog qab mus Hawaii, Kuv Hlub Koj"...Was the last thing I said to him.  I hope in my heart that he got to go back to visit Hawaii and his homeland. And that his spirit is soaring high...whereve r he is...

My dad was the opposite, he did not want to wear any hmong clothes because he said this lifetime, he was born as a menyuam tsuag and was very poor so he want to only wear meeka suite.

You know... his death taught me a lot. It taught me to appreciate people more (not that I haven't before) but now I'm just more aware and I don't take things for granted.

[yuknowthat]

Gloomy windy days gone by, came home to find out why mom wasn't up from her bed like usual in the early morning because she was sick and running with a high fever. I hope you see this and help her through this cold season and this flu sickness will go away as fast as possible. I'll do my part as much as i can to help her because you know i can not afford to lose her too.

[yuknowthat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1XYJYS4isk

this song speaks something inside of me out..

[yuknowthat]

 Crazy night last night dad!  I decided to take mom out for some air. I asked her where she wanted to go. She responded CASINO!..lol  I shooked my head and with the "are you serious?' look on my face. She still say the same thing! tsk tsk. So whatever.  got there and I handed her $50 bucks "here you go have fun"...she ran off with the siblings like little kids running to play videos at chuckie cheese.  Me? i went straight to the food court to EAT!  *yeah you always know dad how i am when i was a kid*and after i came back to look for them around the casino. A hmong lady in her mid 50's came straight to me acting like she knows me "which i don't know her!"talking to me and then a couple minutes later she ask me to lend her money ($100 bucks!) to play the slot machines and when her son gets there to pick her up. She'll pay me back. I was just shocked! * POJ HMOOB DABTSI!* yet trying to get myself back together and responded with a smile. "thov txim os niam tais, kuv tsis muaj nyiaj tiamsi tsuav 5 dollas seem puag tas kuv noj mov tos los xwb , es kuv muab pub rau koj."  i handed to her and went on my own way to look for mom. If i wasn't saying that. Boy oh boy! i would of lost 100 bucks to her!...damn DAD! there are crazy gambling addicts like that! especially hmong people..no wonder you lecture us so much, but anyways thanks for the luck. u made mom win a couple hundreds bucks to bring home as an early christmas gift for her.

[yuknowthat]

OH! you like benjamins Li kuv thiab? 

[yuknowthat]

zoo heev! wb muaj common interest, but hos tsis zoo ib qho thiab.