LOVE, but not IN LOVE

[AJ]

Hello PH.  It's been so long since I've been on here, but I'd just want to share something with the community.  I've been in my relationship for a long time...  She was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes upon the first time we met... literally took my breath away.   Sometimes I reminisce back to that day... and I still get butterflies in my stomach and smile for no reason.  The feelings were intoxicating then.  LOVE... If you've been in love, you know what I'm talking about.  It all seems like a dream to me now.  We've grown together and grown up since that day.  I still love her, but I'm not in love with her any more.  Those exhilarating feelings are long gone.  She tells me she loves me more now than ever but as for me... I find myself drifting further and further away and I don't have it in me to tell her what's truly in my heart.     She is just as beautiful today as she was back then but I want more.  You guys know what I mean???  What is a man suppose to do in the situation.     Hope some of you can relate.  Thanks for reading.

[boO]

Maybeyou should suggest a break to give yourself a chance to reassess your relationship with her. I hope you find the answers you are seeking.

Good luck!
 

[foromosa]

Hello PH.  It's been so long since I've been on here, but I'd just want to share something with the community.  I've been in my relationship for a long time...  She was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes upon the first time we met... literally took my breath away.   Sometimes I reminisce back to that day... and I still get butterflies in my stomach and smile for no reason.  The feelings were intoxicating then.  LOVE... If you've been in love, you know what I'm talking about.  It all seems like a dream to me now.  We've grown together and grown up since that day.  I still love her, but I'm not in love with her any more.  Those exhilarating feelings are long gone.  She tells me she loves me more now than ever but as for me... I find myself drifting further and further away and I don't have it in me to tell her what's truly in my heart.     She is just as beautiful today as she was back then but I want more.  You guys know what I mean???  What is a man suppose to do in the situation.     Hope some of you can relate.  Thanks for reading.

Isn't that the biggest misconception about love? That there's always "feelings"?

We love our family and friends despite having a tingling sensation every time we look at them or talk to them. Why should it be any different with the love between a man and a woman? That is, unless you are no longer sexually attracted to her.

I think you should reconsider your thoughts on what love is (to you). If you still think the same thoughts, it's best to be honest with her. 

[tetrapod]

Love has many phase.  You have reached matured phase of it.  If you ditch her and find some one you are in love with, eventually you will reached this phase again.  You will repeat the cycle but you can stay never in love forever.  If I were you I would stay and work on getting the romance back if the feeling of being on love is important to you.

[DonJuan]

Love = a decision. An action with pure motivation with no fear. No feelings. No co-dependency. No self importance. No ego. Few men and women reach this state. Think Buddha, Jesus here etc.

In love = human condition = us = co-dependency, emotions, an action with motivations and fear. We act or enter in any relationship because of our self interest, may it be friends, family or love. We do it with a motive: it makes us feel good, accepted, or because we feel guilty etc.

We are dysfunctional so we always lack the energy to be in the state of "joy".  But instead of looking into the mirror of our relationships with others which lies within: our consciousness.  We seek distractions such as status, acceptance, money and being in love which are only a temporary boost of energy. and we named all of those happiness.

In love is a drug. We seek its high. And many people always want to remain high otherwise they hit bottom which is depression.

The answer is you don't love her, you have never loved her. You needed her for your own self, emptiness, loneliness, expectations, status etc. and now that your boost of energy is gone, you no longer need her. You've used her But the reverse is true also.
Love in men is merely an arrangement. As long as it benefits both of you guys, it's good. In your case, it no longer benefits you. Because you guys are not married and no kids are involved, I hope. Don't walk away, run and run like hell.
 
Go into hiding. Spend some time to look into your own consciousness. It's not love that failed you. You perception has changed. I'll stop for now.

[LELIA]

Love = a decision. An action with pure motivation with no fear. No feelings. No co-dependency. No self importance. No ego. Few men and women reach this state. Think Buddha, Jesus here etc.

In love = human condition = us = co-dependency, emotions, an action with huh motivations and fear. We act or enter in any relationship because of our self interest, may it be friends, family or love. We do it with a motive: it makes us feel good, accepted, or because we feel guilty etc.

We are dysfunctional so we always lack the energy to be in the state of "joy".  But instead of looking into the mirror of our relationships with others which lies within: our consciousness.  We seek distractions such as status, acceptance, money and being in love which are only a temporary boost of energy. and we named all of those happiness.

In love is a drug. We seek its high. And many people always want to remain high otherwise they hit bottom which is depression.

The answer is you don't love her, you have never loved her. You needed her for your own self, emptiness, loneliness, expectations, status etc. and now that your boost of energy is gone, you no longer need her. You've used her But the reverse is true also.
Love in men is merely an arrangement. As long as it benefits both of you guys, it's good. In your case, it no longer benefits you. Because you guys are not married and no kids are involved, I hope. Don't walk away, run and run like hell.
 
Go into hiding. Spend some time to look into your own consciousness. It's not love that failed you. You perception has changed. I'll stop for now.

If you once had the feeling n no longer have it.. its you who failed love. Every day you should be learning to love her.. but you failed to obtain love while she continues to learn to live her. Do her a favor n let her go before you cheat n hurt her more. 

[DonJuan]

Love does not exist. But I don't expect anyone to come to that conclusion.

But yes, be fair to her and get of out of the relationship.

[LELIA]

Love does not exist. But I don't expect anyone to come to that conclusion.

But yes, be fair to her and get of out of the relationship.

it does exist but you have to create it & up keep it in order for it to sustain longevity

[DonJuan]

Lol. It's called arrangement. Keep it up.

[LELIA]

If its an arrangement than there is no longevity because your heart will waver

[DonJuan]

If its an arrangement than there is no longevity because your heart will waver

.

The opposite is true. It's ok not to understand.

[LELIA]

Lol good thing we're not married to eachother:) haha

[BuckFuddies2]

Let me bone her in front of you to test if you really still do love her or not.

[Sentinel_Li]

There is a difference in love with an object then with love in another human being.  Your kind of love is the kind of love for an object, as to when loveable when new, but given time the item nolonger is desireable and loveable like a newer object that just came out.  That is why your love changes. 

If you love a human being for the unique qualities and characteristic s according to the true definition of what love is, then you will find your love only gets stronger throughout the years as love compounds more onto each other describe much more love.  This is what she has for you, which is love.  Too bad you don't feel the same for her.  Maybe, you need to revisit what love really is?  Maybe it is bec you have other women in your life in that what is called love gets disperse and you lose the love for your wife.

[LELIA]

There is a difference in love with an object then with love in another human being.  Your kind of love is the kind of love for an object, as to when loveable when new, but given time the item nolonger is desireable and loveable like a newer object that just came out.  That is why your love changes. 
Guy
If you love a human being for the unique qualities and characteristic s according to the true definition of what love is, then you will find your love only gets stronger throughout the years as love compounds more onto each other describe much more love.  This is what she has for you, which is love.  Too bad you don't feel the same for her.  Maybe, you need to revisit what love really is?  Maybe it is bec you have other women in your life in that what is called love gets disperse and you lose the love for your wife.

I totally agree with you