ua sib pauj/xam khib

[PojNiamLubSiab]

How many of you are like this?

I'm afraid to admit it, but I am. I haven't always been like this though.

I'll wash the dishes and clean all the time and see if he helps then he doesn't and I'll get fed up then I'll stop doing dishes until they pile up all over the counter and in the sink and he still doesn't lend a hand. We work 12hrs together but he doesn't wanna help me cook which then makes me mad sometimes therefore I don't cook. But if I don't cook then I'll look bad to the other hmong people at work when they see him with nothing to eat or is eating ramen noodles *Sighs* Yus ua kaum zaug los yeej yuav muaj ib zaug uas yus tsis xav ua lawm.

Yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis zoo ua neej li lawm os.

[Reporter]

How many of you are like this?

I'm afraid to admit it, but I am. I haven't always been like this though.

I'll wash the dishes and clean all the time and see if he helps then he doesn't and I'll get fed up then I'll stop doing dishes until they pile up all over the counter and in the sink and he still doesn't lend a hand. We work 12hrs together but he doesn't wanna help me cook which then makes me mad sometimes therefore I don't cook. But if I don't cook then I'll look bad to the other hmong people at work when they see him with nothing to eat or is eating ramen noodles *Sighs* Yus ua kaum zaug los yeej yuav muaj ib zaug uas yus tsis xav ua lawm.

Yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis zoo ua neej li lawm os.

Is that how many women feel? I know that Hmong women just cook and cook and cook and clean, too, without us men know of their feelings. I actually think they love doing those chores. But what you are saying is that they don't like it. lol

[tetrapod]

Ask him to help. 

[PojNiamLubSiab]

Ask him to help. 

I have. Either I ask him for help and he'll just keep saying "awm ib pliag, ib pliag" until i get pissed off then I do it myself or he'll come up with alots of excuses OR he'll do half of it and tell me to "HELP" him do the other half.

Reporter, we only enjoy it when our men are helpful and treats us nice, when they do that then we, or at least myself anyways, won't mind doing everything.

[Moospej]

If nws help koj 1 zaug then koj yuav expect kom nws koj 10 zaug doing the same thing mas tsis tau. Cuz nws yuav think hais tias koj yuav tso txoj hauj lwm ntawd permanent rau nws. Txiv neeg nyiaj hais lus qab zib li thaum koj dib nej. Yog koj paub hais/ua ces hauj lwm ces tsum tiav xwb.

[r3b1rth]

That's an immature attitude that gets both of you nowhere, then you guys both fight over dishes and it gets pettier from there.

If your guy is a typical old fashion stubborn Hmong guy; he will expect you to do the dishes, clean the house, make him food, etc.  Something you should have already known going into the marriage.

Try to talk to each other without starting a fight and blaming each other.  Guys hate hearing girls nagging about problems and girls hate it when guys don't want to listen.  It takes two mature people to talk.  Don't bring up the past, or irrelevant things like what he did two weeks ago that doesn't relate to the topic.  Stay on point about what you would like to happen, what he would like, and come to terms with each other.

If you guys can't even talk, tough, you've got some serious issues on your hand.  This is the person you chose to marry.  If both of you are stubborn, I hate to say this but that's something you will have to deal with (as the OG's say) FOREVER!!!  FOREVER. 

Hmong people need marriage counselors, For Reals.

[Lavender]

How many of you are like this?

I'm afraid to admit it, but I am. I haven't always been like this though.

I'll wash the dishes and clean all the time and see if he helps then he doesn't and I'll get fed up then I'll stop doing dishes until they pile up all over the counter and in the sink and he still doesn't lend a hand. We work 12hrs together but he doesn't wanna help me cook which then makes me mad sometimes therefore I don't cook. But if I don't cook then I'll look bad to the other hmong people at work when they see him with nothing to eat or is eating ramen noodles *Sighs* Yus ua kaum zaug los yeej yuav muaj ib zaug uas yus tsis xav ua lawm.

Yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis zoo ua neej li lawm os.

Not really....kuv ua sib pauj lwm yam xwb.  As for chores, I dislike a messy house and a full sink of dishes.  Then when I don't cook everyone gets hungry. So only miss the chores because of busy schedule. 

[yuknowthat]

How many of you are like this?

I'm afraid to admit it, but I am. I haven't always been like this though.

I'll wash the dishes and clean all the time and see if he helps then he doesn't and I'll get fed up then I'll stop doing dishes until they pile up all over the counter and in the sink and he still doesn't lend a hand. We work 12hrs together but he doesn't wanna help me cook which then makes me mad sometimes therefore I don't cook. But if I don't cook then I'll look bad to the other hmong people at work when they see him with nothing to eat or is eating ramen noodles *Sighs* Yus ua kaum zaug los yeej yuav muaj ib zaug uas yus tsis xav ua lawm.

Yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis zoo ua neej li lawm os.

tsum thiab laus...teeb meem me me xwb txhob muab ua loj loj...hais zoo zoo kom nws ua xwb..koj siab ceev ceev ces nws yeej yuav tsis ua..

[Jeffrey]

Hmmmmmm......m aybe I should teach a Husband 101A course! 

Enrolling..... ..please register your lazy husbands for training here. Yog nws tsis improve, koj tsis tau them kuv ib penny kiag li! 

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[Evelynn]

I hate outside chores, so that's his job & I help out...cooking and cleaning, he's lucky, I don't his cooking or how he clean, so I do it myself. 

[AOZ]

how are you going to make any of your  marriages work if you are always xam khib? 

this is what leads many couples down the divorce path... because she feels "equality" means he should do 50% of all the chores.  don't be fooled by this "equality" concept.   it will ruin your marriage.

what many wives fail to see is that even though your husband may lack the ability to clean/cook... he makes up in other areas that the wife lacks.  so it all balances out.

it's ok that you do 70% of the house chores and he only does 30% because there are times when he steps up and does things for you that you can't do... such at lifting heavy items etc. 

besides... what will make your marriage flourish is that you both work together and the person whom is more efficient will pick up the slack for the other. 

[Believe_N_Me]

If you're truly fed up with doing all the house work then stop doing it. However, that doesn't mean you should expect the other person to do it either. That's just counterproduct ive because now you've only given yourself something else to gripe about. Since it's obvious you both hate doing housework, maybe agree to hire someone to come in once a week or something. Keeping scores and becoming vindictive and vengeful is poison to a marriage.

[C@$H]

from a man's perspective: do not  take into offense and/or feel that we don't acknowledge the mundane chores and/or other work that benefit the both of us (husband/wife or bf-gf, what have you).  Granted we don't help as much nor give you praise but we acknowledge you as a wonderful person/wife.  With this in mind, when we encounter temptation, we walk a straight line...straigh t back into your arms.

House chores are boring and it can be easily tiring when you don't make it fun.  washing dishes for example, wash them to the beat of music, do sexy hip moves, maybe skimpy outfit, sing along..do something to get our attention...wi th that, you will have instantaneous help...if he wants some of these , he's gotta help finish with some of those. of course, this is limited to couples without kids and/or other adults lying around...but the point is making it exciting and getting the spouse's attention...he lp is usually offered.

[NraugLaus]

How many of you are like this?

I'm afraid to admit it, but I am. I haven't always been like this though.

I'll wash the dishes and clean all the time and see if he helps then he doesn't and I'll get fed up then I'll stop doing dishes until they pile up all over the counter and in the sink and he still doesn't lend a hand. We work 12hrs together but he doesn't wanna help me cook which then makes me mad sometimes therefore I don't cook. But if I don't cook then I'll look bad to the other hmong people at work when they see him with nothing to eat or is eating ramen noodles *Sighs* Yus ua kaum zaug los yeej yuav muaj ib zaug uas yus tsis xav ua lawm.

Yog zoo li no xwb ces tsis zoo ua neej li lawm os.

don't marry hmoob.

[HLEEYANG86]

This reminds me of my coworker's mother, she gets jealous whenever she's doing the dishes..and she throw pots and pans, slam the door and bang the kitchen table.  



To me ,i love doing the dishes. &My husband takes out the garbage all the time.So Im Happy