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Author Topic: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?  (Read 1121 times)

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Offline theForumGuard

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #30 on: December 22, 2011, 01:34:19 AM »
Quote from: jiggles on December 21, 2011, 10:04:22 PM
Forumguard ur a troublemaker  :knuppel2:  :idiot2:

Not my fault that dude is mad



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Offline jiggles

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #31 on: December 22, 2011, 01:18:25 PM »
Quote from: theForumGuard on December 22, 2011, 01:34:19 AM
Not my fault that dude is mad

You didn't have to make that comment about trailer house. It was unnecessary don't you think?



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Offline theForumGuard

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #32 on: December 22, 2011, 02:15:10 PM »
Quote from: jiggles on December 22, 2011, 01:18:25 PM
You didn't have to make that comment about trailer house. It was unnecessary don't you think?

why shouldn't I have? Dude's on here gloating.



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Offline loosygoosy

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #33 on: December 22, 2011, 08:20:24 PM »
From my experience, I've noticed that Hmong women who can't put up with their in-laws usually don't put up with their own parents.  It depends on how you are brought up.  If you can't love your own family you won't learn to love your husband's family. 



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Offline IsaacsLove

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #34 on: December 23, 2011, 11:51:43 PM »
I would not survive my in laws if we live w/them for sure.



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Offline lilly

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #35 on: December 29, 2011, 06:38:43 PM »
Quote from: theForumGuard on December 19, 2011, 11:16:38 AM
I'd never put my partner in such a hostile position. She wouldn't be able to be herself.

it's definitely not easy.  it's the same thing as having roomates... except with in-laws, you feel this big and humongous obligation to do stuff like cook, clean, pay bills... unless, you're not traditional then you could be the nyab that sleeps all day long in her room.  it's always best to live separately from the in-laws... but in special situations... you should only make it temporary and respect each other's humanity.



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Offline jiggles

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #36 on: December 30, 2011, 01:10:55 AM »
Still anxiously waiting for mine to croak so i can finally enjoy life  :)



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Offline thePoster

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #37 on: December 30, 2011, 02:38:03 AM »
Ahahaha, it's called "can't afford to live out by themselves".



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Offline LadyLionness

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #38 on: December 30, 2011, 09:48:20 AM »
Quote from: Moospej on December 19, 2011, 04:49:58 PM
Why get marry if you're not ready? If you and your s/o decided to move out but still end up with the in law living with you then you need to set the rule straige. Let them know that you can handle it and for them just relax. If the OG's see that you are a resposible DIL them start let thing go. They will become another of kid in home for you and your s/o to take care... Keep in mind that when you marry a Hmong guy/gurl you are also marrying his/her whole family.

As much as some of you younger folks would like to think otherwise, this IS true.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #39 on: January 11, 2012, 10:08:28 AM »
Since it sometimes takes a Hmong man a lifetime to know how to balance his role as husband and son, Hmong men will just have to make better choices when it comes to whom they marry. It is inevitable that they will at some point or another have to take care of their parents and play an integral part in their clan.



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Offline blushers

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #40 on: January 12, 2012, 04:06:14 AM »
Quote from: theForumGuard on December 19, 2011, 03:16:52 PM
living with in-laws means putting pressure on the wife to live up to their unreasonable expectations. It forces women to change and unfortunately, them changing to accommodate her in-laws means you won't be marrying the women you expected to marry.

Damn it!  I should've married you first!  LOL.  J/K.  As much as I love my husband, 13 years of living with his parents has been more than enough for me.  I want my husband and I to live by ourselves and have our own privacy, & his brother agreed to move in to take care of the inlaws...yet husbands hesitant to move out because he's the youngest son & feels his parents will be disappointed.  Heck, when we mention moving out, they tell us to just shut up about it.  SURE I hate putting him in this position of where he's stuck choosing between me or his parents...but I can't stand living with them anymore.  I'd like to move out before any harsh words are revealed and things escalate further.  Feel my desperation?   :'(   



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Offline AF-Wife

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #41 on: January 12, 2012, 07:11:23 AM »
I understand that when you marry someone you marry their whole family but it doesn't mean that you have to live with them.  There has to be boundaries between you and the family, even between you and your own family.  At the end, it's going to be YOUR life, your marriage that you have to make work.



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Offline knightmare

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #42 on: January 17, 2012, 07:56:30 PM »
hmong folks are like this.. when you marry the husband you marry the whole family.. if you marry the last son your shit out of luck.. you know what you were getting into.. please no change of heart cause that like filing the divorce paper.. one benefit from staying with your parent.. one day your son will stay with you til the end.. if you run n leave the parent on their own.. you will be at a retirement home when its your turn.. hmong people is full of karma..



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #43 on: January 17, 2012, 08:29:20 PM »
Quote from: loosygoosy on December 22, 2011, 08:20:24 PM
From my experience, I've noticed that Hmong women who can't put up with their in-laws usually don't put up with their own parents.  It depends on how you are brought up.  If you can't love your own family you won't learn to love your husband's family. 

True.

The same is also true for mother-in-laws who dislike their daughter-in-laws. They couldn't stand their own inlaws either so why would they be any different when it comes to their own daughter-in-laws.



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Offline dianahmuas

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Re: How can Hmong women put up living in the same household as their in-laws?
« Reply #44 on: January 17, 2012, 09:14:17 PM »
Quote from: theForumGuard on December 19, 2011, 11:16:38 AM
I'd never put my partner in such a hostile position. She wouldn't be able to be herself.

you're very thoughtful...i'm happy for you...

Quote from: peas_n_queues on December 19, 2011, 11:42:59 AM
it's because their husbands are momma's boys and don't have a backbone so they marry a hmong wife in hopes that she will give them a backbone.

 :2funny: O0



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