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[PojNiamLubSiab]

The husband had seem kinda upset and pissed for almost a month now, just mumbling when I ask him anything. I've asked him what's wrong and he said nothing. So I've no clue what the problem is and don't know if I'm at fault. We work together, at the same place, same shift so after work on wednesday morning when I came home after staying late at work, he was already gone. I figured he must have gone to the bar w/his coworkers since one of the teamleads was leaving for a new job.

Night came and he's no where to be seen. He didn't take his cell fone but he took his laptop. His family don't know where he is and after a day later, i drove around to his friends house but didn't see his car. So it's been 2 days and 2 nights now with no sign of him. He also changed his online banking account password too which he always ask me to check for him.

Maybe this is bad but I hacked into it and turns out he took out $1000 the weekend before. Long story short, our marriage has been rough, but I guess this is the ultimate deal breaker for me to help me make my final decision, but of course I'll ask him where he's been and what he's done IF he comes back home. Even if he does tell me, I'm still making that final decision. I'm sure his brothers know where he is though because there haven't been a single missed call on his fone since he's been gone. It will be hard because I have two young children.

Mob kuv lub siab yuav tuag vim ib ntsais muag xwb kuv lub neej puas tag.

[DeceiversChick]

Sorry to hear of this. Is he a gambler? Maybe he took that 1k to the casino? maybe he went on a trip? whatever is the case I hope he is ok and not missing though.

[Sweet_Tears]

Most likely he ran away and could be with a girl. I don't want to be too straight foward but majority of the time it is. I've seen it and experienced it before. When two people love eachother they can over come anything.. even fights. But when you don't really love eachother anymore.. you tend not to care to fix the marriage or make amend so you go days/months being pissed at eachother. I'm sure he's doing fine and is in hiding.

[PojNiamLubSiab]

Sorry to hear of this. Is he a gambler? Maybe he took that 1k to the casino? maybe he went on a trip? whatever is the case I hope he is ok and not missing though.

No he's not a gambler so I don't know what he did with that money unless he went out of state or borrowed it to his family. I"m sure he's ok and fine somewhere because he took his laptop which he never does and his usual people and brothers haven't called his cell like always.

Sweet Tears, I've always thought that maybe he didn't love me anymore but I kept staying in hopes that he'd come around or change. I keep staying on the good memories of the past but I guess it's really time to leave now.

[Sweet_Tears]

No he's not a gambler so I don't know what he did with that money unless he went out of state or borrowed it to his family. I"m sure he's ok and fine somewhere because he took his laptop which he never does and his usual people and brothers haven't called his cell like always.

Sweet Tears, I've always thought that maybe he didn't love me anymore but I kept staying in hopes that he'd come around or change. I keep staying on the good memories of the past but I guess it's really time to leave now.

I've been there before. I supported my ex through college and then he started to hang out with his single friends from College and they went clubbing/bars almost every night.  Even so, I still supported him until he graduated and stayed hoping that things would changed but it got so bad so I finally left for good. Thinking back now.. I thought "Why was I so dumb back then?". I guess when you love someone, you just keep on giving them chance after chance until you run out of hopes.

[PojNiamLubSiab]

I've been there before. I supported my ex through college and then he started to hang out with his single friends from College and they went clubbing/bars almost every night.  Even so, I still supported him until he graduated and stayed hoping that things would changed but it got so bad so I finally left for good. Thinking back now.. I thought "Why was I so dumb back then?". I guess when you love someone, you just keep on giving them chance after chance until you run out of hopes.

That is true because I know most of us women get married thinking peb xav mus ua peb lub neej ib zaug xwb, tsis xav mus ua ob peb tom neej. My husband never liked drinking until we started working at our workplace and he met his hmong coworker friends (single and married but liam liam), they drink and go bowling all the time so he started doing it also. He'd go play poker until 530am and even if he knew I was mad, he didn't care or would ignore me. He wouldn't help me around the house or outside, didn't take me places bc it's always "boy thing" and left me doing everything in the house. He has a tough heart or even maybe no heart at all.

How did you cope after leaving him? I am afraid, nervous, and everything else in the book about what happens after leaving.

[Sweet_Tears]

That is true because I know most of us women get married thinking peb xav mus ua peb lub neej ib zaug xwb, tsis xav mus ua ob peb tom neej. My husband never liked drinking until we started working at our workplace and he met his hmong coworker friends (single and married but liam liam), they drink and go bowling all the time so he started doing it also. He'd go play poker until 530am and even if he knew I was mad, he didn't care or would ignore me. He wouldn't help me around the house or outside, didn't take me places bc it's always "boy thing" and left me doing everything in the house. He has a tough heart or even maybe no heart at all.

How did you cope after leaving him? I am afraid, nervous, and everything else in the book about what happens after leaving.

Gosh, hearing how you described your husband, sounded like my ex. LOL My ex was the type to be very strong minded and heart until he went to college. let's say that he came from a very well known family and he never drink or club until he went to school and started to hang out with those single college kids. At first it was only a one time a week and then it got into two times a week... and so forth. Before long I wasn't able to stop him anymore.. no matter what I said or do.. it's as if he was on drug or something. He couldn't stop going. Then there came the girls.. calling him and stuffs.

It was very hard for me to leave him.. but I knew that I had to because I was tired of doing things alone. I was tired of going to the movie and dinner by myself. I lived such a lonely miserable life for 3 long years until I finally found the courage to leave. That's how long it took me. It was very hard at first adjusting to being single again. I felt like my life just fell apart and I was not worthy of any happiness. But eventually, things will start to fall into places and you find yourself again. Times will be hard but you will find the strength to move on w/o him. The only thing I suggest is don't be weak to his words. Once you make that choice to leave, just don't turn back.

[jiggles]

U dont see him at work no more?

[DeceiversChick]

No he's not a gambler so I don't know what he did with that money unless he went out of state or borrowed it to his family. I"m sure he's ok and fine somewhere because he took his laptop which he never does and his usual people and brothers haven't called his cell like always.

Sweet Tears, I've always thought that maybe he didn't love me anymore but I kept staying in hopes that he'd come around or change. I keep staying on the good memories of the past but I guess it's really time to leave now.

If that's not the case then most likely he ran away to stay at a friends house. So he's not coming into work either? Did he quit?

Wow this is uncall for. Just running away with no contact whatsoever. To me that's not a man but a wuss. If you don't want the marriage to work you deal with it and move on. I'm not in your shoes so i wouldn't know what to say or do either. I wish you the best. You will have to do the best for you and your kids.

[PojNiamLubSiab]

That's how long it took me. It was very hard at first adjusting to being single again. I felt like my life just fell apart and I was not worthy of any happiness. But eventually, things will start to fall into places and you find yourself again. Times will be hard but you will find the strength to move on w/o him. The only thing I suggest is don't be weak to his words. Once you make that choice to leave, just don't turn back.

Just reading that made me cry like a baby, realizing that this is real and it's going to happen and I'm just so heartbroken. I feel exactly that way, I feel like Im not good enough for anyone bc I have kids and have been married.

U dont see him at work no more?

We work 12hr shifts from 530pm until 530am and it's only every other 2days so today I am going back to work so we'll see if I see him there.

[Sweet_Tears]

Just reading that made me cry like a baby, realizing that this is real and it's going to happen and I'm just so heartbroken. I feel exactly that way, I feel like Im not good enough for anyone bc I have kids and have been married. We work 12hr shifts from 530pm until 530am and it's only every other 2days so today I am going back to work so we'll see if I see him there.

Did you try emailing him since he did take his laptop? If his family or friends are not calling to find him then most likely they know exactly where he is and so that's why they are not concern. I'm sure he ran away to think about life and what he wants. He'll probably come back home and lay on the table for you. Most men are like that. When they are being faced with something.. they tend to run away...

[PojNiamLubSiab]

he doesn't use his email. he probably takes his laptop because he plays online games or watches anime. He didn't take his cell phone either and I've talked to his mom a few times and she's also upset that he left w/o saying anything because she dont know either. If he has some kind of stress or kev nyuaj siab, he should tellme instead of just keeping it in. We've tried talking so many times in the past but it never worked because he'd get mad at what and how i feel and then we'd start to argue or he'll say those are my problems, not his. Idk what kind of stress or kev nyuaj siab he could have when all he does is work, go to the chicken farm, and go laij everywhere nyob dawb xwb.

[Sweet_Tears]

he doesn't use his email. he probably takes his laptop because he plays online games or watches anime. He didn't take his cell phone either and I've talked to his mom a few times and she's also upset that he left w/o saying anything because she dont know either. If he has some kind of stress or kev nyuaj siab, he should tellme instead of just keeping it in. We've tried talking so many times in the past but it never worked because he'd get mad at what and how i feel and then we'd start to argue or he'll say those are my problems, not his. Idk what kind of stress or kev nyuaj siab he could have when all he does is work, go to the chicken farm, and go laij everywhere nyob dawb xwb.

Hopefully, he will turn up or at least give you and the kids know that he is okay and just needed time to think. Honestly, I'm so fed up with men that can't not have a normal conversation w/o jabbing you everytime or putting the blame on you. In all the years that I've dated.. I have never came across a man that was willing to listen to my concerns w/o pointing fingers. I'm just fed up with it. That's why sometimes...I just rather keep it all inside and not say anything at all. It takes two people to make a marriage or a relationship work!

[PojNiamLubSiab]

That's why sometimes...I just rather keep it all inside and not say anything at all. It takes two people to make a marriage or a relationship work!

Sometimes by keeping it in though will only make it worse. Sometimes the small things can grow into bigger problems.

I am hoping he will show up so we can at least end this because I know we won't be able to end it w/o him here, at least his parents won't allow that anyways.

[Sweet_Tears]

Sometimes by keeping it in though will only make it worse. Sometimes the small things can grow into bigger problems.

I am hoping he will show up so we can at least end this because I know we won't be able to end it w/o him here, at least his parents won't allow that anyways.

I don't want to jump the gun here but are you afraid that he will tell you that he has a new girl and want a divorce? What is your worst fear in all of this?