am i being too mean? - serious inquiry only

[autumnbreeze]

My brother-in-law really likes me and wants to date me. He even told my parents that too. He is my sister-in-law’s own brother, so I think of him as my brother too. We live in the same town and have known each other since little. He’s a few months younger than me too. I’ve always thought of him as a cousin/brother, and never liked him in that way. Last year, he confessed his feelings for me and wants to get further with me. Since then, he has been pursuing me until this point. He calls me, leaves me messages, texts me every day, emails me every week, and comes visit us often too. He said he comes visit his sister, but I know he came to see me. I have him as friends on facebook and twitter. I’ve told him and made it clear to him many times that I am not interest in him as a boyfriend and if we can remain sister/brother, but he said no and refused to. I’ve warned him that if he pursues any further, and if he crosses the line, I will not tolerate him and I will not save his face and I will not hold any respect for him and I will be mean to him. So, I’ve blocked his number on my phone, deleted him on my facebook, block him from viewing my twitter info, and move his email address to the spam folder. When he comes visit, I purposely go out with my friends or visit my cousins to get away from him.

He messaged me on twitter saying that I’m being too mean to him and that I shouldn’t have done this to him. Now I feel very bad and like I am being too mean. I don’t know what to do. He’s really like my brother, but I feel like I have to be mean to him to get my point and my message across. I hate being mean to him or people like this, but he leaves me no choice. Am I being too mean to him? I’m not thinking clearly on this right now and may have acted on my actions and emotions than doing it rightfully. I know this sound like a childish game and some of you might think this is silly, but it’s not. Thanks for any advices/suggestions.
 

[couchpotato]

No, you are not being mean.

To do anything short of what you are doing now would be cruel and give him false hope.

Either he just isn't getting the message or he is in denial. Keep ignoring him until he gets the hint. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.

[BuckFuddies2]

For your sake....... do NOT be alone with him for any reason, he seems like a dude that will take things to the extreme and may hurt you if you reject him.

Be in a safe atmosphere, family gathering or something, pull him aside and have a serious one on one talk with him and let him know what and how you feel.  If you keep avoiding him like a plague and don't stand up for yourself, he won't let it go.  You have be stand up and be strong........ ... that way you'll get your point across and he should respect that.  If he doesn't and continues on, tell your parents and his parents about the situation.

[freebird]

No, you're not being mean at all. Sounds like your handling it as best as you can. He's responsible for his own feelings, even getting hurt, because you've already given him your response.

[non dormis]

that's so korean drama!
and people thought my true stories were crazzzzzy.

[aHMONGrican guy]

It seems like he came on too strong. If he were to approach it the right way you might could've liked him.

[reAP]

http://www.allfacebook.com/chronic-facebook-stalker-2011-04

YOU BIL THE STALKER

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bG1K6aJ8H30

[primetime]

AMEN to all the above.

[Super User]

uh yeah... some guys r stupid and think that persistance will win a girl over. do not have any contact with him - by u contacting him, he thinks its ok to behave that way and it is not.

[IB TIAM NEEJ]

You need to be more mean. If he's like a brother, treat him like one and cuss him out.

[MSV]

uh yeah... some guys r stupid and think that persistance will win a girl over. do not have any contact with him - by u contacting him, he thinks its ok to behave that way and it is not.

That was my thought exactly.

Don't pity the boy. You did the right thing. There are far more worst things that could have happened. Just consider it as him not getting the message the first time so now you're just trying a different method to get it to him again. Done deal.

[tsiehta_goy_vuk]

My brother-in-law really likes me and wants to date me. He even told my parents that too. He is my sister-in-law’s own brother, so I think of him as my brother too. We live in the same town and have known each other since little. He’s a few months younger than me too. I’ve always thought of him as a cousin/brother, and never liked him in that way. Last year, he confessed his feelings for me and wants to get further with me. Since then, he has been pursuing me until this point. He calls me, leaves me messages, texts me every day, emails me every week, and comes visit us often too. He said he comes visit his sister, but I know he came to see me. I have him as friends on facebook and twitter. I’ve told him and made it clear to him many times that I am not interest in him as a boyfriend and if we can remain sister/brother, but he said no and refused to. I’ve warned him that if he pursues any further, and if he crosses the line, I will not tolerate him and I will not save his face and I will not hold any respect for him and I will be mean to him. So, I’ve blocked his number on my phone, deleted him on my facebook, block him from viewing my twitter info, and move his email address to the spam folder. When he comes visit, I purposely go out with my friends or visit my cousins to get away from him.

He messaged me on twitter saying that I’m being too mean to him and that I shouldn’t have done this to him. Now I feel very bad and like I am being too mean. I don’t know what to do. He’s really like my brother, but I feel like I have to be mean to him to get my point and my message across. I hate being mean to him or people like this, but he leaves me no choice. Am I being too mean to him? I’m not thinking clearly on this right now and may have acted on my actions and emotions than doing it rightfully. I know this sound like a childish game and some of you might think this is silly, but it’s not. Thanks for any advices/suggestions.
 

Many people have have given you very good advise.

I think you really should tell him straight up that there is no way for you two and he needs to go find someone else.  Perhaps you could introduce him to someone you know, like a friend.   

Anyhow, he needs to understand that you and him can't be if you are holding this position.   

[jiggles]

Hais zoo luag tsis yuav ces kuj hais phem xwb! Yes techinically you are being mean BUT if thats what it takes to get him to buzz off then its more than ok. 

[boO]

You gotta be cruel to be kind. Right now, rejection hurts but in the long run he will thank you for being honest with him.

[DeceiversChick]

First of all you are his brother in laws sis! WTF is he thinking?!?!?! DAMN! Secondly, NO you are not being mean.

If he doesn't stop you need to inform your nyab, brother, and parents of his actions. Hell even tell his parents! Seriously he needs to grow up and realize you two are in laws and there is no way you two are tabooing!