Where can I find other Singles with Careers?

[Believe_N_Me]

Older, single women need to redefine their definition of "equality". They seem to think, as far as a relationship goes, that equality means to do the "same thing", play the "same role". Men aren't looking for that. It's not in their DNA to be attracted to somebody who is just like them.  Equality to a man means a relationship where two individuals complement each other. Notice I said "complement" and not "compliment". A man wants a "woman", not a woman who can play a "man". If the older single woman can't accept this then they should get used to the idea of being single. Or perhaps they can find themselves a very insecure man who is looking for a roof over his head. Stop trying to change what is innate (it will only backfire in the long run)!

[Believe_N_Me]

Why is it that you as a 20 yr old girl don't even want a 30?  And what exception would be exceptional in your opinion?


What is it so bad about a Hmong guy with decent career and ready to settle down and build a family in their 30 that you don't even want?

By the way, you do realize that even a 20 yrs old marrying a 30 yr old guy, after you give birth to average number of 4 children, you look just as old or older depending on how much your body can take the damage.

Do keep in mind that after you give birth to a few kids, you will actually look order than your husband if you guys are same age.

Thank you for your opinion.



The way a person looks at a certain age doesn’t matter, well at least not to me. It’s about the mentality of a person at a certain age.

Why do guys like younger girls? You said that older guys aim at the younger girls because the 27+ women have baggage, but do you honestly think this is the reason why guys aim at a younger population?
I think older single guys WANT the young girls, when in fact they NEED the older women.
For an older guy to not want older women due to baggage is just an excuse. For every woman that has baggage, there is a man that also has baggage – it works both ways.
Guys want those girls that are young, ripe, and who bend to their desires. I find that as girls get older, the more independent they become and this is due to life experiences and knowing what they want in life.
An older guy can wine and dine a younger girl and he wins her over. An older guy that wants to win an older girl over needs to wine and dine her and then develop a relationship with her on top of that. Older women are more difficult to please and win over just because we’ve experienced and we know what we want. A few flowers and a poem wont easily catch us now. Its easier to win over younger girls so older guys aren’t even trying with us older girls…

I do want a guy around my age or older, but I know that guys around my age are looking for someone younger – hot, fresh, easier to please…. or at least they appear that way.
I want that older guy that has a career, wants to settle down, wants a wifey – but he just doesn’t want me   *cries*
The matter of the fact is that we “older” girls in our mid-late 20’s DO WANT a guy our age or a bit older (no more than 5-10 yrs older), but these guys aren’t looking for us because they are setting their standards on these young girls so they really are missing what’s good…   

I'm never surprised to hear an older woman trying to tell a man what he needs. Perhaps this is the very reason why men are turned off by the older, single gal. If she's going to tell him what he needs, Lord, please don't let it be a financial partner.  Because that is the last thing a financially secured man wants - maybe a loser who needs a sugar momma but not a man who has dignity and self-respect.

Men want a place to spend their money. If you happen to be the older, single gal, start investing in your physical appearances and gaining a youthful attitude. Don't be that cliche spinster who is all strong, educated, self-reliant and don't need a man because that's what you're gonna get "no man". The men aren't dumb. They know you are strong, educated, and self-reliant - and they like that. They want that. But stop flaunting it in their face. If you keep saying you don't need them then soon, they'll take the hint and stop coming around at your own command.

Give them a reason to choose you by being fun, youthful, understanding, supportive, impressed, and yes, flattered and smitten by their attempts to court you. Don't give them the "I can totally afford that by myself." Or "I can totally accomplish that by myself." Because then you will have to do all that by "yourself".

[jon_jon]

i think we give people with careers too much credit...

my mom never had a career and she married my dad who didn't have no career either. they came to the US and had 10 kids. we managed through the years and they're still together to this day.

being single with a career is over-rateed..... your career does not dictate what kind of a person you are.

your experiences, life obstacles, and childhood displays your character and integrity!

[Believe_N_Me]

^^^

True.

People with careers should actually have a larger dating pool. If they're financially well off, they don't necessarily need someone else who brings in the same income. They have the luxury of actually marrying for love rather than convenience. Men understand this because they don't mind being the provider. I'm not sure if financially well off women have bought into this idea yet. They seem to still want a man who is the breadwinner, at the same time, want to be a breadwinner themselves. They're asking for a very narrow pool of men. The problem is that the men in their pool aren't limiting themselves to just women with a good career. Again, men don't' mind expanding their dating pool to include women who aren't as educated or career-oriented. Thus, the competition for the women is steeper. 

The irony is that some women who end up with a man who isn't as educated or career-oriented, are still unhappy.

[jon_jon]

i think what has happened to Hubba and to many women out there today is that.... their roles have been reversed with men.

Their careers enabled them to be the breadwinner; therefore, they do the choosing and become the dominant provider in the relationship. A regular guy would be intimidated to know that his wife would be making the decisions because she's got the money to do whatever she wants. Her social status will only make his look diminutive to those around him.

[Believe_N_Me]

i think what has happened to Hubba and to many women out there today is that.... their roles have been reversed with men.

Their careers enabled them to be the breadwinner; therefore, they do the choosing and become the dominant provider in the relationship. A regular guy would be intimidated to know that his wife would be making the decisions because she's got the money to do whatever she wants. Her social status will only make his look diminutive to those around him.

In other words, if she's going to act like she doesn't need him, then he isn't going to stick around either.

[non dormis]

i think what has happened to Hubba and to many women out there today is that.... their roles have been reversed with men.

Their careers enabled them to be the breadwinner; therefore, they do the choosing and become the dominant provider in the relationship. A regular guy would be intimidated to know that his wife would be making the decisions because she's got the money to do whatever she wants. Her social status will only make his look diminutive to those around him.

i can't say this was true for me. cause when my wife and i married, rest her soul, she made more than me but we never really cared because we both work hard and when she was too tired to cook or clean i did so and we always switch off and it was never really a problem because we never looked at it like...who roles is it to play what... because we both realized that coming together and do these things was a way to better our relationship and grow. we never cared what others thought because at the end of the day it was only us.

[Believe_N_Me]

derp,

Actually most guys don't care if their wives make more money. But the truth is that a lot of women often can't accept a man who isn't as educated or earning the same (if not more) than they are. Only few can. Just look at some of the statements made by older, single women with good careers. They are only looking for those with a professional career. Has any of them actually stated that they only cared if the man loved them? They may have to eat their own words and seek an oversea husband sooner or later.

[non dormis]

well, that's just really sad. but that's okay also because you should find whatever your preferences are even if that makes you a backwards thinking golddigger or whatever reason it is. i remember talking to this "Hmong woman" before and she was telling me that she's not really big on following Hmong culture and Hmong traditions... which i say...oh, that's fine because you choose the way you wanna live your life. but then she still expected to marry or be with someone who was the sole breadwinner like how Hmong culture believes... and i was thinking... WTF???

like how can you say you want to be progressive and not traditional and then when it came to that one topic you're like...oh, but this one topic a man has to make more money than me and take care of me? and she was like... i dunno.

i think a lot of times people, don't really have a clue what they are thinking about. it's like a light switch.. sometimes it's on... other times.. it's sorta blinks here and there.

[Believe_N_Me]

You're right. Some people just don't know what they want and that's what it all boils down to. For example, if they want a man who earns more than they do then they need to be realistic if they happen to be bringing home a big paycheck. If you're Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerburg how many people can you expect to be earning more than you, right? And in that small pool how many of them are actually interested in you? Maybe these people aren't even interested in a relationship at all and are trying to find excuses without coming right out to say that they want to stay single with their money forever.

[non dormis]

so you're kinda like saying.... if a woman wants a career guy who makes a lot of money and all that stuff then she better be willing to give up some things also.... like she can't be expecting him to be all prince charming and be like....oh, honey.... i make so much money and i'm super smart....and i'm great looking like brad pitt, and i'm not a pig like all the other traditional hmong guys cause i learn the ways of the force and since you are tired let me take your shoes off and i'll cook dinner for us both cause you had a hard day at work... and you and i will sit down to a nice dinner that i made cause i'm a career man who can buy food for us on my career man salary and we'll sit down and eat food i made and have smart conversations about leo tolsoty and his thoughts on russican politics and how that affects American currency today.

etc etc

[Believe_N_Me]

Well she can't expect that that kind of man is interested in her. For all we know, there may only be two men of that nature in her dating pool and they already have their sights set on Laos, you know? 

[non dormis]

that totally blew my mind because i didn't know that guys who wanted to go to Laos and get girls also read tolsoty. i guess we learn something new everyday. go figure.

[Believe_N_Me]

They do. They do.

[non dormis]

please take pic of these men holding tolsoty book and post up. so maybe all they want to do is go back to Laos and teach these girls how to read. i guess there is a lot of misconceptions about these brave Hmong men who only want to better Hmong girls who live in Laos.