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Author Topic: What to expect at a Christian funeral  (Read 9881 times)

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Offline thehotone

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What to expect at a Christian funeral
« on: February 07, 2012, 02:30:27 PM »
Can someone light the way for me on what to expect at a Christian funeral? Is there any ka-sue, cua-cha, niam cooking, sho-cuab? (hmong spelling ???) What are my roles as a nyab? Do we cook or do they cater? Who do he give nyiam sunshine too or do we give any at all? Do they zog-hmo? I'm so lost.  :(



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Offline Gemini

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #1 on: February 07, 2012, 02:32:47 PM »
Catholics...ye s.



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Offline thehotone

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #2 on: February 07, 2012, 02:51:38 PM »
Gemini, i think they are CMA's.



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Offline yuknowthat

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #3 on: February 08, 2012, 08:15:48 AM »
Can someone light the way for me on what to expect at a Christian funeral? Is there any ka-sue, cua-cha, niam cooking, sho-cuab? (hmong spelling ???) What are my roles as a nyab? Do we cook or do they cater? Who do he give nyiam sunshine too or do we give any at all? Do they zog-hmo? I'm so lost.  :(
there's nothing of those any sort..as far as i know...it's singing and then eat and then buried the dead then go home..



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Offline ToxicCum

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #4 on: February 08, 2012, 10:31:58 AM »
Can someone light the way for me on what to expect at a Christian funeral? Is there any ka-sue, cua-cha, niam cooking, sho-cuab? (hmong spelling ???) What are my roles as a nyab? Do we cook or do they cater? Who do he give nyiam sunshine too or do we give any at all? Do they zog-hmo? I'm so lost.  :(

its all the same...dependi ng on 'the church' or 'the group' and what their policies are for a funeral.

but most, if not all, are exactly the same...they may have more singing. and their bowing and thank yous maybe a lil shorter. less drinking. but yes, all the positions of meat cutters to the guy in charge and the families all have the same duties as the traditional shaman families. no burning of paper boats and money.

if u walked into a loose christian family funeral, u prob wont know the difference, if your just there to visit and chat.

many elders and people who claim to be wise (respectively), usually do not care about this subject. they are there out of respect and go along as the family wishes......


« Last Edit: February 08, 2012, 10:35:14 AM by ToxicCum »

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Offline thehotone

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #5 on: February 09, 2012, 07:29:24 AM »
youknowthat... . I've only been to one Christian funeral as a guest but my hsb didn't want to stay any longer. :( i have to admit, it was kind of boring b/c i didn't listen to half of what they said. after the first 5 mins, my mind when somewhere else.


Toxic, so in a way, they still do their funerals traditional with the exception of playing the drum/qeej and burning paper. How do give thanks to those who give sunshine money? Just a thank you? And whom do we give the money to? Directly or indirectly to the family?

My hsb is the nephew of this deceased man and we have no clue what to do besides pay our respects.  :(



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Offline MSV

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #6 on: February 09, 2012, 11:36:09 AM »
youknowthat.... I've only been to one Christian funeral as a guest but my hsb didn't want to stay any longer. :( i have to admit, it was kind of boring b/c i didn't listen to half of what they said. after the first 5 mins, my mind when somewhere else.

Toxic, so in a way, they still do their funerals traditional with the exception of playing the drum/qeej and burning paper. How do give thanks to those who give sunshine money? Just a thank you? And whom do we give the money to? Directly or indirectly to the family?

My hsb is the nephew of this deceased man and we have no clue what to do besides pay our respects.  :(

I'm guilty of feeling the same way too. I've only been to one Christian-based funeral and it was rather....dull and lifeless. I guess I've grown use to hearing drums and qeej playing all the time so to show up to one where it's quiet, I didn't know what to do. From my observation, it's not too different from a traditional shaman funeral. There are still family there to grieve...food is served to everyone...las t goodbyes and words are spoken.



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Offline ToxicCum

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #7 on: February 17, 2012, 12:02:43 PM »


Toxic, so in a way, they still do their funerals traditional with the exception of playing the drum/qeej and burning paper. How do give thanks to those who give sunshine money? Just a thank you? And whom do we give the money to? Directly or indirectly to the family?

My hsb is the nephew of this deceased man and we have no clue what to do besides pay our respects.  :(

I am truly sorry for my delayed reply. I hope all is well on your husbands side of the family.

yes, mostly its all the same. The support money (which u called it sunshine money) goes to a designated person. Usually you can openly ask the family who is the 'money holder or 'tug tuav nyiaj'. It is within proper to openly ask who and where the money holder is located.

Mostly, they say thank you the same way...hands together and 2 bows each, with some fancy thank you line that last longer then a Kardashian marriage hehehehehe.... .some, just some, just say thank you with a hand shake.




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Offline ToxicCum

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #8 on: February 17, 2012, 12:09:21 PM »
I'm guilty of feeling the same way too. I've only been to one Christian-based funeral and it was rather....dull and lifeless.

I am confused here...dull and lifeless??

do u go to funerals expecting it to be at a club with dubstep music blazing and a DJ spinnin?

its like...moarnin g time...funeral s are supposed to be somewhat of a silent atmoshere.....




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Offline yuknowthat

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #9 on: February 17, 2012, 04:26:21 PM »
youknowthat.... I've only been to one Christian funeral as a guest but my hsb didn't want to stay any longer. :( i have to admit, it was kind of boring b/c i didn't listen to half of what they said. after the first 5 mins, my mind when somewhere else.


Toxic, so in a way, they still do their funerals traditional with the exception of playing the drum/qeej and burning paper. How do give thanks to those who give sunshine money? Just a thank you? And whom do we give the money to? Directly or indirectly to the family?

My hsb is the nephew of this deceased man and we have no clue what to do besides pay our respects.  :(
um sunshine money? just keep it in your pocket for some PHO later on when you make a quick detour instead of going home..lawm tsis nco you tshav ntuj but lawm tus vaj tswv xwb....i'm pretty sure some don't even have food to serve the guest who's been there the whole day to help them out..



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Offline ToxicCum

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2012, 12:49:14 PM »
um sunshine money? just keep it in your pocket for some PHO later on when you make a quick detour instead of going home..lawm tsis nco you tshav ntuj but lawm tus vaj tswv xwb....i'm pretty sure some don't even have food to serve the guest who's been there the whole day to help them out..

was that even called for? no one was bashing until this post....usuall y christian funerals have more food, because they dont follow the traditions of having only 'funeral food'....

im not on anyones side, but the last sentence was completely unnecessary.



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Offline yuknowthat

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #11 on: February 20, 2012, 09:30:48 AM »
was that even called for? no one was bashing until this post....usuall y christian funerals have more food, because they dont follow the traditions of having only 'funeral food'....

im not on anyones side, but the last sentence was completely unnecessary.
i said some...even some other traditional don't..



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Offline thehotone

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #12 on: February 20, 2012, 10:56:07 AM »
What is funeral food though? I've eaten so many different kinds of food at traditional funerals.



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Offline thehotone

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #13 on: February 20, 2012, 11:11:12 AM »
The have all those, but it's all being handled by the Church, including the cooking.  And yes, they do have people to accept sunshine money, but they won't pe you... they will just thank you and ask God to bless you.  They are usually set up in the back or in a corner, with two or three people with computers or notebooks.  They register everything to hand over to the family.

Your role, as a nyab is just to show up at the funeral home and mingle.  Help tidy up here and there and perhaps drive people to the church for lunch and dinner.  That's about it.

Thanks! And would it be improper to give sunshine money directly to one of the sons?



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Offline SummerBerry

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Re: What to expect at a Christian funeral
« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2012, 03:38:35 PM »
Its always best to give the money to those people who are recording it down vs. family member because they might forget to hand it in later or have it record.

Funeral foods preparation it can be the same rather Christian or not because it really depend on the family expenses and what they want.  I've only been to one Christian funeral so far about a month ago and I have to all the foods there at my grandmother's brother funeral was good.  Some cooked, some take out order from Chinese restaurant, etc.  Some traditional funeral they mainly just have cow cooked and barely anything else.  At my fil's funeral we had all kind of food but nothing too big but just plan that today will be kapoon or fawn served along with the regular dish of cow, pig, etc.  but nothing too much.  Snack, coffee, etc. is there to grab whenever you need it. 

Christian funeral most work are handle by member of their church or other church that are related to the person too.  Traditional is mainly handle by sil, aunt, etc. relatives of the decreased person.



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