Can someone light the way for me on what to expect at a Christian funeral? Is there any ka-sue, cua-cha, niam cooking, sho-cuab? (hmong spelling ) What are my roles as a nyab? Do we cook or do they cater? Who do he give nyiam sunshine too or do we give any at all? Do they zog-hmo? I'm so lost.
I'm CMA and we have all the roles of a traditional funeral, minus txiv xaiv, tshuab qeej, ntaus nruas, hauv qhua, hais xim. None of the old traditional spiritual stuff.
Sunshine money is still collected but it depends on the household to kneel or not. This is where it varies from family to family or church to church. Some families will just say "thank the lord that you're helping donate money for our loss. May God bless you." while some may say "thank you for your donation, may God bless you". I honestly believe that how people say "thank you" doesn't really matter and what matters the most is the "authenticity and genuinety" of it. Before I became a Christian, I was a xyom cuab and there's other xyom cuab(s). The verses we say, they say... may be very deep and long but I gurantee you.... it's a memorized verse which makes it pointless. It's only meaningful if you know what you're saying and doing.
ex of a christian thank you:
ua tsaug os koj tsis ci li es koj tseem qa nyiaj txiaj tuaj pab peb xyom. hnub qab nram ntej, peb paub ua neej ces peb yuav tuaj pab koj li koj pab peb. Yog peb tsis paub ua neej ces, koj tseem pab pab peb los peb yuav pab tsis tau koj tabsi thov kom vajtswv foom koob hmoov rau koj nawb"
There's no zov hmo and it usually ends at about 9pm, after the singing and sermon (usually given by a pastor) daily. The cooking is usually done by the church members (divided into groups for lunch/dinner for the weekend).
As for kneeling, even as a Christian, I will kneel. It's not to say I worship this person but it's a I "respect/honor/thankful" this person for their contribution. People don't give you money because they want you to kneel to them. They give you money because they understand how tragic and hard it is to orchestrate a funeral, as well as how much it costs. We don't know the financials of the family with the loss.
There's no alcohol drinks at Hmong Christian funerals.