Advertisement

Author Topic: A traditional hmong funeral for a child with divorced parents-What R YR thought?  (Read 6673 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

eyefish

  • Guest
Usually those who don't volunteer themselves to do the arduous labor involved in a traditional Hmong funeral will say this. After sleepless nights of cooking, cleaning, and smelling like cow, one will understand why it's not so easy to be so nicey-nice.

Please understand that a traditional Hmong funeral does not start on the day of the funeral. It starts the week before the actual body gets to the funeral home. That means lots of cooking, slaughtering animals, and playing hosts to guests coming in and out of the home. Sometimes guests do not leave until a little after midnight but they may arrive at the house before 10noon. If it's the husband's clan who will be playing this role then the mom should just be grateful they're doing it at all knowing that she could never return the favor.

I understand :)
We do the same thing where we host family/friends for at least one week up until the day after the funeral. Our vigil is 24 hours because someone always have to be up.



Like this post: 0

Adverstisement

Offline thehotone

  • Jr. Poster
  • ***
  • Posts: 3019
  • Respect: +18
    • View Profile
In this day and age, whichever parent  can handle the funeral arrangement, financially wise. But...It would be better to have a father who wants to handle the funeral arrangement then to have a father who throws it all on the mother. If I was her, I'd be wise to let him handle according to their family rituals and give him the $$ for it.



Like this post: 0

A_New_Beginning

  • Guest
Everyone knows that in a traditional Hmong funeral---for a son, or even a daughter who is not married, the responsibility of the child's funeral for planning and also financially falls on the dad's side/relatives.

In the case where the parents has been divorced for a long time but shares equal custody for the son, but the father always bare more of a financially responsibility of the son--whether he choose to, or the ex ask him to, he pays for more things for the son. The parents are not friends, the father has remarried, and the father and his ex only speak if they have to in regards to that child.

Now if the son dies, the father knows he has to pay and plan the funeral and does it without any hesitation. The father is open to the mother helping financially but If in the case where the mother has no money to help pay for the funeral--should she have a say of the planning of the funeral? such as what food to make, selecting a casket, flower etc...... and have some say or decision making in the coordinating the funeral? What are your thought?


It all lies down to the divorce process within the Hmong culture.



Like this post: 0

yuknowthat

  • Guest
to us traditional, it would be the father side, the funeral is a little bit different, they call it "tub qaib" nos if im correct, yog muaj nkauj muaj muam ua xav tu ib tug nyuj rau nws los tau.



Like this post: 0

 

Advertisements