Pulling Teeth….
The official rules regarding marriage of a Lao citizen to foreigners requires that you give an arm and a leg, or dam near to it, in my humble opinion.
The following documents must be provided to the provincial administrator, or in Vientiane, to the administrator of the Vientiane Prefecture. And it typically takes about 18 months to complete the process.
Application for marriage
Biographical details for pair intending to marry
Certificate of residence
Photocopy of identity card or passport
Certificate of no impediment (or evidence of single status)
Certificate of health
Character reference
4 x 6cm passport photographs
Certificate of financial status
Written statement guaranteeing return of Lao citizen to his/her homeland according to his/her wish in case of divorce.
Comments of Ministry of Foreign affairs of the Lao PDR.
Comments of the Police at the provincial or prefectural level
Comments of the Justice Service at the provincial or prefectural level.
For these reasons, most US citizens opt for a second option, engagement only.
May’s mother arrived into town a little after 4:00 PM on my third day in None Hai. I would guess that she’s only 4’9” and 120 lbs at best. Her face was round and worn down, her eyes are dark and she had straggly hair, like someone who had just woke up from an illness. She smiled as we greeted her in the middle of the dusty road climbing off a van that came all the way from Phonsavan. I was nervous; I wanted to give her a hug but did not know if it was appropriate. I almost reach out with my hand to give her a handshake, but that would seem odd too. So, I was stuck in that awkward situation where nothing happens and we just traded smiles.
May’s mother wanted 1500.00 US dollars, her asking price for May’s hand in marriage. From what my uncle tells me, this was normal, as May was married before. If I was a Hmong-Lao, only a feast was all that was needed for us be engaged in traditional Hmong culture. The price for a single woman, one who was never married before can easily cost between 5,000 to 7,000 dollars for her US husband. Most of this did not matter to me, not that money did not matter, I know who May was and that I loved her and wanted to marry her. I would have easily paid 10,000 dollars for May… Thank God, they did not ask.
The engagement feast was small, only about 30 people total, between her family and mine. The main course was a Hmong pig, which had like 20 lbs of meat and 120 lbs of fat. Man, those things are fat! We ate and drank into the late evening. It feels weird being “attached” to someone again after being alone and single for so long… but as Taylor Swift once said, “it’s confusing, miserable, and magical in the best way”…
Well... that's it for today. I will have some final thoughts next time.
LHG