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Author Topic: Bowing down  (Read 6067 times)

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Offline dlabtsi_os

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #15 on: September 25, 2013, 12:40:06 PM »
Many times the kow towing isn't to show respect but to show submission to the bride's relatives and groom's relatives who are helping him get married. It becomes a torture when the in-laws require more and more whiskey or more and more kow towing on expanded relatives. Mine was a terrible one, which is partly why I've never been able to get over it. My best man and I were ordered to pe all of her relatives from all of the world, including not just those in the states but also those in Laos, Thailand, France, and China, too. They didn't even appear at the wedding. I'm afraid to marry a Hmong girl again. But maybe a Christian girl might be ok.
There was a tiny group of Hmong in Laos that often did that to their sons-in-law-to-be. Each time their daughters married someone, they'd require so much whiskey to be poured onto the sons-in-law that later such SILs would never be able to live a good life again. The idea was both to torture and to prevent life competition from the daughter's new family.

Is the reason cause the favor ZIJ POM NIAM?  Bride knapping. :2funny: Okay joking aside. If the son-in laws were smart or fortunate, their parent should tell you him to avoid pitfall traps. When is it too many to drink. Many family will try to make/trick you drink a lot in terms of their gratitude. Each shot is for each gratitude. Another pit fall is they make you recite or guess a riddle. To counter the gratitude, you have to basically have to give more gratitude to them. On the riddle this is something you have to learn from yourself. But fortunately, nowadays many Hmong don't know these riddles or proverb so yeah.



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Offline jon_jon

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #16 on: September 25, 2013, 10:48:30 PM »
I think that spouses that are not Hmong don't follow the tradition of bowing down. They getaway too easy!

But I believe that if you don't want to bow down you shouldn't have to. Parents from both sides will have to understand, but it's up to the couple. If they want to keep it traditional or pass that up it's their call.

Hmong marriage should NOT be about the Parent's respect and how noble they are, but the respect of love from them to their new son-in-law or daughter-in-law. They should respect the newly-wed's wishes! Parent's need to humble themselves and stop that tradition.

It shouldn't be all about "bowing down" to the parents and dab qhua in a marriage.



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Offline theking

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2013, 12:41:00 AM »
I think that spouses that are not Hmong don't follow the tradition of bowing down. They getaway too easy!

But I believe that if you don't want to bow down you shouldn't have to. Parents from both sides will have to understand, but it's up to the couple. If they want to keep it traditional or pass that up it's their call.

Hmong marriage should NOT be about the Parent's respect and how noble they are, but the respect of love from them to their new son-in-law or daughter-in-law. They should respect the newly-wed's wishes! Parent's need to humble themselves and stop that tradition.

It shouldn't be all about "bowing down" to the parents and dab qhua in a marriage.

I agree with that passage for the most part. Afterall, the wedding day is suppose to be the bride and groom's day and should also be one of the happiest day for them. Not getting slammed with liquor and hard labor. It should be up to them whether they want to do it or not.



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Offline thehotone

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #18 on: November 07, 2013, 10:05:47 AM »
my hsb like to joke with me sometimes saying that he's already "beg and plead" for my hands in marriage and don't i know how hard it was for him to go thru all that to have me in his life.  ;D



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #19 on: November 07, 2013, 12:02:23 PM »
yog tias nej yuav luag ib tug nkauj nyab, nej puas pes?
as in respect "pom niam, pom txiv, pom neej pom nus?"


The word is kowtow= pe.




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Offline Stybic_Kemaka

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Re: Bowing down
« Reply #20 on: April 07, 2015, 11:18:59 PM »
So smart but then y go do wedding at inlaw place ... Go rent big place decorate big cake n call a pastor over n guarantee no "pe"

Oh yeah n make sure no bring alcohol either cause too pussy to drink lol



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