It is no "surprise" the squawking Google/WWW aficionados have embraced the brother/sister-hood of crickets,
, and have all but blossomed into mimes.
Oh well, perhaps it is time to provide Lilly with the information she had inquired about since the squawkers squawked and squawked but nadda, zip, zero, nothing relevant has been publicized, or explained etc. -- cept links, blah blah blah.
Before elaborating on a traditional Hmong wedding, let us answer some of Lilly's question.
What is the role of the mejkoob? The "mejkoob", two men per each side - the groom's and bride's -, are "mediators" who conduct and at times help to resolve issues that may arise, during and throughout, the entirety of a traditional Hmong wedding ceremony. Two "mejkoob" are used per side for all White Hmong, "cov Hmoob Dawb" -- their customs. Only one "mejkoob" per side is used among the Green Hmong, "cov Moob Leeg/Lees/Ntsuab" -- their customs. (Note: There are some nuisances and variants between the Green and White Hmong wedding ceremony but that is beyond this discussion. And yes, Green and White Hmong can marry one another despite these nuisances and variants.)
Does the lwm qaib person have to be a male? Do you have to give money to the bride's family when you send men to fij xo? Are there drinking involved at the fij xo?The "lwm qaib" person does not have to be a male, but the norm - that is 9.5/10 times - it is indeed a male. However, a female can do it also. There is no Hmong rule or "traditional mandate" that says a woman cannot, provide she knows what to say during the blessing.
Yes, during a "fi xov" or "fij xo", money and cigarettes are needed and is required. The incremental amount are: 1. $20 for the person receiving the message - "tus txais xov" - directly given to him 2. $20 is the message - "thoob lub xo" - it's tied within one of the knots of the striped ribbon, "txoj siv ceeb", and finally 3. $60 towards or for the family's relatives referred to as - "dej txhuv tsis paub faib hno" - it's tied within the other or second knot of the striped ribbon. (Note: Some Hmong tie 3-knots, the third being the $20 of #1, but the majority only tie 2-knots.) And the cigarettes are obviously for "tsab yeeb" -- covered later.
No, there is no drinking during a "fi xov", at least to my knowledge and per all the ones I have witnessed and/or participated in. If there is any drinking whatsoever, it is probably just for "fun", or gestures of friendship/acquaintances. Alcohol/drinking is definitely not part of the "fi xov" ceremony. Bowing (kowtow) definitely is though,
-- covered later.
At the end of the wedding the bride's family tells the bride to not look back. What happens if she looks back? There is no known explanation/problem, that I know of or have heard if she looks back, but the belief is that she is beginning a "new life" as a woman, wife, and mother to be; therefore she is leaving behind her "previous life" of a girl, daughter, and sister thus she should be looking forward and towards her new family - hers and her husband's future - not back at or to her past. That's it more or less. Anything else besides this, I have never heard or do not know.
What is the significance of the black umbrella?The black umbrella, first and foremost, represents the "girl to be wed" - "tus nkauj nyab". And secondly, it is symbolic and representative of a traditional "Hmong wedding" - meaning that when anyone sees the "black umbrella tied with a striped cloth" around it, they know a wedding is going on. (There is a folklore or "dab neeg" about this, but I cannot remember it ...
) Only solid colored umbrella should be used; thus red, yellow, orange, and/or any other bright colors are a no-no -- at least that is the practice and norm.
Now that most questions have been answered, let us look at a traditional Hmong wedding -- its process from start to end -- the very moment a guy decides he wants to marry his girlfriend, High School/College sweetheart, or Yawm Saub/God forbid a mysterious hot lady/girl he met at the Hmong New Year, soccer tournament, bar, club, house party etc..
That said, be aware of the fact that there are actually five-well-known traditional Hmong wedding ceremonies and/or practices. (This is something Google/WWW squawkers will most likely "NOT" find any information on or about, especially regarding the process, procedures, and requirements/expectations.) Of the five, the most popular and widely practiced in the West - namely the USA - is in fact "tshoob tog qw", meaning "marriage among singles", or young couples, adolescents, and/or "virgins" -- hopefully,
.
The five traditional Hmong weddings are:
1. Marriage among singles - "tshoob tog qw" == most widely practiced in the West/USA
2. Bride-napping or Bride-kidnapping - "tshoob zij" == illegal in the West/USA, though still "ok" in SEAsia
3. Pre-arranged or Prior Engagement (Hmong do have pre-arranged marriages, but I am using it loosely here.) - "nqis tsev hais" == "ok" in the West/USA and SE Asia, though extremely rare here/USA (Note: It can also be the most "expensive". Just depends on the bride's family or the groom's financial and social status. Some brides have been "free" because the groom is from a well-known, respected, and affluent family line,
)
4. Divorcee - "tshoob poj nrauj" == "ok" in the West/USA and SEAsia, mainly among the elders
5. Widows - "tshoob poj ntsuam" == "ok" in the West/USA and SEAsia, mainly among the elders
*** 6. Eloping and/or Leaving Together - "tsis ua tshoob" == late 20th Century and 21st Century phenomenon, most popular in the West/USA (No comment - tsis raws Hmoob kev cai)
NO, I will not be elaborate on the other 4 traditional Hmong weddings and/or practices. (Let the Google/WWW squawkers "mouse click" to their hearts' desire in this regard ...
)
... to be continued ... (
)