Hmong people and their ignorance never cease to amuse me. You guys got it wrong, and your parents got it wrong, their parents got it wrong, etc.... It goes way back to years of misinformation and ignorance. There was a price, but it was never called a "bride price" or "head price". And it was never meant to mean anything similar to that.
The "bride price" came into existence because of greedy Hmongs who used it to to force their wives to stay with them, or greedy inlaws who used it to force their son-in-law to continuing keeping thier lazy wives.
If one looked closely at the "zaj tshoob" and the many stories that we have to explain things one will realize that the "bride price" does not exist. A certain price does exist, but it is not meant to serve the purpose that we use it for today. Most "meej koob" don't know this because they are not tasked to comprehend the verses, but rather to regurgitate. Mind you, it takes very little brain power to regurgitate. Or simply most "meej koob" just over look the matter because it is not the "norm".
After peering through countless books of "zaj tshoob" and asking numerous elders this is the conclusion I came to. When a Hmong man marries a Hmong woman he must pay a certain amount. The money is paid to show his appreciation to her parents for giving birth to her and raising her so that on that day he is able to marry her. The groom knows that taking his wife away from her family will cause a certain amount of physical burden on her family, primarily physical labor. The money is meant to try and ease that burden by having the bride's parents use it to help hire people to help them farm if need be, or in most cases to marry a bride for their own son.
This is the reason a groom pays a price. Hmongs have a circular way of thinking, like a belief in karma. The price, in sense, helps to keep the ball rolling. But, along the way Hmongs started to getting greedy and thus we end up with the perverted "bride price" that we have today. We have drifted so far from the original ideal that now the notion of a "price" is being seen as archaic and bad.
The Hmong culture and Hmong way of life is about brotherhood, sisterhood, and family. Women use to be held in high prestige since it use to be common knowledge that it is the woman that makes the man. Who is it that ultimately ends up saving and elevating the life of the orphan boy? One use to be able to trust their spouse being alone with another person of the opposite sex as long as that other person had the same last name. One use to be able to go to a Hmong village, not know anyone and have a place to sleep and a warm meal to eat. Weddings use to meant the celebration and joining of two families.
Women are seen as objects to be used rather than savior of men. The Hmongs have a saying that a woman can make or break a man. We can see the misuse/appreciation of women happening around us in the Hmong community everyday. Hmongs look the other way when another Hmong is in need. Weddings are now a place to start conflict or settle conflicts.
Don't get me wrong though, some women are succubus', and some men are valiant. There are those out there that strive to help out selflessly. But, a community's strength is measured by it's weakest links. And thus far, our weakest links is made up of a significan.If this generation is going to be the ones to inherit the future, I have no faith.
Topic: Those who are against "bride price" (Read 24078 times)