Those who are against "bride price"

[dlabtsi_os]

LOLs.  so tired of hearing brideprice sides.

let's put it this way... if my daughters fall in love with you.... and you will not pay brideprice... I will pay your parents GROOMSPRICE and you move in to live with us.   

Nope as long Patriarchy stands, some Hmong Women will never be satisfy. 

In a nutshell, it's an exchange. You add to your family by taking away from mine so pay up.

Basically, regardless how much each individual tries to romanticize or looking at it realistically, its all about the exchanging values. Another problem that Hmong people face is how will we lift ourselves up from the economic standards.

[Believe_N_Me]

I have no problem with those of you who want to give your daughters away for free. That means those with sons will keep their wallets fat.  But like I said, why do you care if others still want to continue the tradition? It doesn't demean you and it doesn't demean them because they see the value in it. If you don't like it, just make sure your sons don't fall in love with a girl who comes from a family that still sees value in the bride token. Your points and argument are so invalid since it doesn't even apply to you.  You folks are as crazy as those atheists who keep trying to change church rules when they aren't even churchgoers themselves. 

[night912]

I have no problem with those of you who want to give your daughters away for free. That means those with sons will keep their wallets fat.  But like I said, why do you care if others still want to continue the tradition? It doesn't demean you and it doesn't demean them because they see the value in it. If you don't like it, just make sure your sons don't fall in love with a girl who comes from a family that still sees value in the bride token. Your points and argument are so invalid since it doesn't even apply to you.  You folks are as crazy as those atheists who keep trying to change church rules when they aren't even churchgoers themselves. 

It's a double edge sword.

[AOZ]

hehehe....

when you really really really really want to marry your girl really really bad... you willl pay what ever brideprice her parents ask.   i seen it with my own eyes... some of your hmong clan girls go for 15 -30K..... that's because they are beautiful and tall.... doesn't matter about the rest.... just that our vauvs and bils want them that much.   

[Reporter]

Isn't there a Chinese guy who is trying to pay 80M to some guy whoever her daughter is willing to marry? Good way to get rid of her, right?

[Badkarma]

So, out of curiosity, what if the groom has no family? Or if he isn't Hmong?

[VillainousHero]

So, out of curiosity, what if the groom has no family? Or if he isn't Hmong?

Traditionally "orphans" will have almost no chance...the groom is gonna have to be extra wealthy monetary or extremely well respected and have others people vouch for him.  Another part of negotiations is the groom who will be under the bride's family...meani ng you might be like a slave to her parents for x number of years until her parents see you fit to move out and have your own life.

Given today's lot of society...who knows for sure how some people will act or react.  If a Hmong woman wants to marry you...she doesn't have to listen to didly squat what her parents or anyone esle has to say...She's gonna go American - Las Vega's wedding bells...if she so want to her choice.

[Badkarma]

Lol, well, I ask because my only family are some uncles/ aunts and cousins.

I'm a 30yr old man with pretty much everything a man could want. If I were to marry a Hmong woman, it makes no sense to me to live with her family if I have my own home/job/life. I understand respecting elders and family, but I'm a man, and I will be regarded as such.

That's all

I guess I'll be paying a hefty dowry lol.

[VillainousHero]

Don't just think you're a man in according to American culture.

I know the sentiments of a lot of people thinking it's a hefty sum of money with nothing tied to it but worldly possessions.  In fact if you look at it from it's original true worth of humanity...it's all about respect and honor for such a relationship.  If you take into it as a matter of civility, you will see that in every society and not just the Hmong culture.  The amount is hardly the objective, but as always more out of respect and establishing a relationship between two families.  That's why there's such a saying, "when you marry, you marry the whole family as well."

Respect demands a lot of civility, humility, and modesty that will prove what kind of man you are.  Doesn't matter if you're a millionaire or just a poor beggar.  That poor beggar may in fact carry the bloodline of a true nobility.

In the old ways to some people, but true societal Hmong ways...each house should be regarded as a king's castle.  No matter how poor such a family is.  If you truly want to pay respect and honor, you need to see it from this perspective.  Doesn't matter if the father is just some janitor...he's still a king of his castle.  Even if the mother is actually head of the household...th at's another curve ball into respect.

[3 Years Time]

Don't just think you're a man in according to American culture.

I know the sentiments of a lot of people thinking it's a hefty sum of money with nothing tied to it but worldly possessions.  In fact if you look at it from it's original true worth of humanity...it's all about respect and honor for such a relationship.  If you take into it as a matter of civility, you will see that in every society and not just the Hmong culture.  The amount is hardly the objective, but as always more out of respect and establishing a relationship between two families.  That's why there's such a saying, "when you marry, you marry the whole family as well."

Respect demands a lot of civility, humility, and modesty that will prove what kind of man you are.  Doesn't matter if you're a millionaire or just a poor beggar.  That poor beggar may in fact carry the bloodline of a true nobility.

In the old ways to some people, but true societal Hmong ways...each house should be regarded as a king's castle.  No matter how poor such a family is.  If you truly want to pay respect and honor, you need to see it from this perspective.  Doesn't matter if the father is just some janitor...he's still a king of his castle.  Even if the mother is actually head of the household...th at's another curve ball into respect.

No one needs to pay me $5000 to show their respects when they marry my daughters. I trust my daughters enough to know they will choose wisely. Now, for a g-thug marrying the first chick he got pregnant, I can't say the same about him and his family. Material objects have no value of respect to me, it's someone's character that'll show value.

[VillainousHero]

No one needs to pay me $5000 to show their respects when they marry my daughters. I trust my daughters enough to know they will choose wisely. Now, for a g-thug marrying the first chick he got pregnant, I can't say the same about him and his family. Material objects have no value of respect to me, it's someone's character that'll show value.

Like I said...it's not about the money...it's about the respect.  If someone offers me their daughter for free...I still want to know the person (daughter personally).  If we hit it off...that's great...if not, then that's just how it would be, not gonna happen.

Speaking for myself...respe ctfully, I would still pay you a hefty sum of money...out of respect.  It's the gesture.  That is what it says about my character.

When I'm a father and my daughter will get married...pers onally that money paid to me...well that's gonna be for my daughter (her dowry).  It's a safety net...so I know that she will have some money for emergencies if something should come up.  It's for her and her only.  Not for her to give to her new husband.

[yuknowthat]

So, out of curiosity, what if the groom has no family? Or if he isn't Hmong?

doesnt matter... pay up.. we all are still men...doesnt matter which race/ethnic you are.....
Its all about respect.. traditional hmong wedding isnt hard when you really narrow it down.. majority is just all for show..

I am sure will be doing a wedding as my wife side of family recommended traditionally to their standards if im ever to marry a mexican, italian, irish, or american woman...

[BetterWitAge]

money can't buy respect. it's plain and simply greed. greed and pride. if you don't trust your children enough when they can make decisions on their own, then you fail as a parent.

[Sydney]

money can't buy respect. it's plain and simply greed. greed and pride. if you don't trust your children enough when they can make decisions on their own, then you fail as a parent.

I agree.  Respect isn't measured by money.  Money, in fact, is considered the root of all evil to some people. 

[BetterWitAge]

As the 1st generation of Hmong Americans it is our duty to dispose many of the traditions that will no longer benefit us as a cultural ethnicity.