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Author Topic: Pseudo-Single Life  (Read 14661 times)

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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #30 on: December 24, 2013, 01:34:51 PM »
I need to learn how to be a little bit romantic. :-\   Who shall I practice being romantic with? 








 :blob1: I know, I know!  Me!  Yes!  Perfect.


« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 01:44:03 PM by LadyLionness »

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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #31 on: December 24, 2013, 01:38:38 PM »

Suggestions to have a rollicking good time summer romance with yourself!
http://galadarling.com/article/how-to-have-a-summer-romance-with-yourself


 Court yourself
The first days of fresh love are delightful & tender. You get to see the absolute best parts of whoever it is you’re seeing — such a lovely thing! Maybe it’s time to start awakening to your most fabulous features, too, & to start being gentle with yourself, regardless of the situation. Think of yourself as a new lover. Think about how supportive & sweet you would be if your new squeeze was going through a hard time, & then make an effort to extend that kind of love & grace to yourself.


Come on, now. Be good to you. If you won’t, who will?


 Listen to yourself
Relationships often involve a lot of listening, especially as you’re getting to know the object of your affections. I know you’re thinking, ‘This is all well & good, but if it’s just me, what do I have to listen to?!’


The answer is that you need to start listening to yourself. Your actual, true, authentic, genuine, uncensored self. That voice which tells you whether you should do this or that. Not the rational, logical voice which takes over when we’re trying to convince ourselves of something, but the voice that speaks from a place of instinct & intuition.


It’s amazing, you know. We each have all the answers we need inside us at all times. We may think we need to ask other people, or read a book, or ask Google, but really, when it comes to what we should do about a given situation, we already know. Sometimes I like to remind myself of this by visualising my belly as a little all-encompassing galaxy, swirling with stars & question marks & answers & big, blinking exclamation points.


So make an effort to listen to your intuition. When it flashes at you — & it does, several times a day! — start paying attention. Do what it tells you, & see if it improves your life. (It will!)


 Learn to compromise
This goes hand-in-hand with the point I made under ‘Court yourself’, which is about being good to yourself. That means that if you have a massive work-load but you’re exhausted & sick, you need to learn to put yourself (& your health) first. Similarly, if you’re feeling depressed & withdrawn but your friends have invited you to go out, you should probably accept their invitation. It’s all about doing what will make you feel better in the long-run.


Photobooth fun
 Take sweet pictures
Yes! Romantic relics! A good photobooth strip is worth a lot. While normally you would pile into a photobooth with your beloved, have a smooch & wait for the photos to come out the other side, this time you have to go it alone. But don’t be afraid! Taking photos alone is funnnn! Dress up, blow kisses into the camera, dance around, pull silly faces, & when you’re done, put the pictures somewhere prominent so you can remind yourself how gorgeous you are on a regular basis!


 Go out on dates
The best thing about romancing yourself is that you can go on dates that no one else could ever possibly understand. Want to check out the train museum, spend hours in the bakery supply store, stare at skateboards or attend a seminar on podiatry? You can, & you don’t have to convince anyone else to go along with you! Get dressed up, take yourself out & have a damn good time.


Buy yourself flowers, too. They’re an important part of the process.


 Write yourself love letters
Love letters, or loved-up communique in general, is one of the best parts of being involved in a romance. It gives you something real, like a record of what’s happened, to hold, clutch to your chest, pore over obsessively (don’t tell me you haven’t done it!), & whatnot. Passionate letters are like the souvenirs of love.


If you’re having a summer romance with yourself, you might feel like this is just an arena of the lurve game you’re going to miss out on. But it doesn’t have to be that way! You can write yourself love letters — & they will probably ultimately have more meaning to you than anything someone else could write.


What kind of thing am I talking about? Well, they could range from a series of amorous haiku to something snappier, like, Hey Gala, I noticed your ass is looking mighty shapely these days. Kudos!


They don’t have to be enormous, long-winded, flowery pieces of prose — you can keep them short & sweet & have them be just as effective. Even a couple of sentences is better than nothing. Make it part of your regular routine, a daily ritual if you can. Write one on a Post It during your lunch break, scrawl some endearing words in your journal before bed, rearrange the letter magnets on the fridge… Do it however you like, just make sure it happens!


Those are my ideas. How will you romance yourself this season?



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #32 on: December 24, 2013, 01:58:01 PM »

But there is another way to approach this celebration of love and giving – romance yourSelf!


Typically, we expect romance to come from a partner, a lover, or a significant other. Wanting to love and be loved is fundamental to our nature. Yet, when we don’t have that special someone in our lives, the absence of romance can leave us feeling dull. And sometimes, even when we do have a significant other, we still sometimes sense that lack luster feeling of detachment and emptiness.


It doesn’t matter if you have a partner or not. You don’t need to depend on another person for you to feel loved, whole and cherished. In fact, since the main person in your life is YOU, ideally you should be taking steps to honor and respect yourself every day.


What exactly is romance?


Everyone has their own specific definition of romance, but we can agree that romance means to have affection, to provide an interest in your own contributions, and to feel passion and strong feelings.


“Romancing Yourself” happens when you take life into your own hands – when you get to know yourself, spending time with your likes and your joys. When you romance yourself, you do the things that nourish and bring out your inner radiance. You place attention on the details that are important and meaningful. And you delight in your senses, opening up to how wonderful things smell, taste, look, and feel. Romance is the little things – showing yourself that you care.




19 Positive Ways to Romancing Yourself:


Get to know, and appreciate, all of who you are! Below are nineteen ways to rekindle your love affair with yourself! Take yourself out on a date this valentine’s …. ;)
Take yourself on your ideal date. What have you always wanted to be asked out to do? Here’s a secret: You don’t have to wait to be asked. Go ahead; splurge. You’re spending an evening with the most special person you’ll ever be blessed to meet: yourself.


Treat yourself to that special restaurant, the one with the flower filled outdoor patio. Read your favorite book by the table's candlelight, occassionally pausing to look up at the starry night sky. 


Take yourself out to a four star movie. Buy a big tub of popcorn. Laugh uproariously.
Listen to what pleases your ears on a breezy summer afternoon. Let your eyes tear and your imagination wander.


Spend a Sunday afternoon in the park. Watch the kids play catch catch, and be sure to walk barefoot in the cool grass.


Keep a journal. Write down random thoughts, snippets of poetry, or your dreams. Draw a portrait of the person who always sits across from you on the bus/train ride to work.


Spend an afternoon at the art museum. Melt into the paintings. Visit the natural history museum. Be a tyrannosaur. Hungrily devour the humans walking oh so quietly through the museum halls. Its fun to be with yourself ;)


Play with Legos and colored pencils ¯ creativity is good for the soul.
Sit quietly in your room early in the morning. Breathe soundly and listen to the sound of the dawn. Know your beauty in silence.


Be generous to yourSelf materially. Yes, that means buying something just for you! Don’t wait for someone else to purchase something for you. If you have had your eye on that gorgeous set of earrings, then buy them! You, my dear, are worth it. He can buy you the matching necklace ;)


Be generous to yourSelf with time. Instead of running around all day in a frenzy of activity for your job, family, school or whatever else you give your time to, take some time for you. Whether it be a day off of work, an hour long soak in the tub or ½ day curled up in a good book, give yourSelf permission to enjoy some down time.


Forgive yourSelf. What’s done is done, and your expectations for yourSelf are probably higher than anything you’d ever ask of someone else. Whatever you feel you have done “wrong,” learn from it and forgive yourSelf. You’d do the same for another person, so why not for you?


Let go. This goes hand in hand with forgiveness. If you find that you are carrying around anger or a grudge toward someone else, why not just let it go? The only person you are hurting is yourSelf – and that doesn’t make much sense, does it?


Take care of your body. It is good to you, carrying you around and allowing you to get on with your life. Make sure you nourish it with healthy food once in a while, take supplements and get some exercise. Your body will thank you!


Eliminate the word, “should.” Every “should” statement is laden with unnecessary guilt. If you say that you “should” do something, that means that someone else expects you to, perhaps even yourSelf. If your “should” is something that you honestly don’t want to do, then don’t do it. You always have a choice.


Affirm yourSelf. You’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you!  Telling yourSelf wonderful things about yourSelf makes you feel great! If you hear something enough, you will begin to believe it. So why not make sure that you are hearing the good stuff?


Pamper yourSelf. Treat yourself to a massage once a month, or once a week. Feel how good it is to be at home in your body. Go for a manicure, a pedicure, a massage or whatever else makes you feel special. After all, you ARE special and you deserve these things!


Support yourSelf. People need people. Do you have a circle of friends that you can talk to? If so, spend some time with them. If not, brainstorm about how you can meet other women. Research has shown that women who have a close circle of friends feel more positive on a day-to-day basis.


Replenish yourSelf. Spend some quiet time in prayer, meditation, walking in nature or whatever makes you feel connected to a Higher Power. Quieting your mind and connecting with something or someone bigger than you are can bring about an intense sense of inner peace.



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #33 on: December 24, 2013, 02:03:08 PM »
Task:  Think of yourself as a new lover. Think about how supportive & sweet you would be if your new squeeze was going through a hard time, & then make an effort to extend that kind of love & grace to yourself.


 :sex: Kat, it's ok that you didn't buy the ticket with Southwest.  All you have lost is a couple of hours.  At least now, you get to spend another two full days with the family.  Yes, it cost quite a bit more, more than you wanted to spend, but time with the kids is so precious at this moment.  Besides, you can stay up all night on New Year's eve with the children and then just go straight to the airport.  You can sleep on the plane and when you get back here.  It's gonna be ok.   :)


« Last Edit: December 24, 2013, 02:17:01 PM by LadyLionness »

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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #34 on: December 24, 2013, 02:13:26 PM »
Hmm... it is kind of nice!   :D




When I get back, I will need to iron my clothes though.  These past few weeks I have been wondering why I don't look quite as nice as a few weeks ago and I realize that I have just been pulling my clothes out of the dryer, hanging them up and then putting them on.  While that is ok, it doesn't have the same quality of being crisp and well put together. 

I am also going to go back to sleep earlier too so that I have more time to pamper myself in the morning.  I like this feeling.  :)



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #35 on: December 24, 2013, 02:15:42 PM »
That's enough romance... lol.  I really suck at this...  :P



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #36 on: December 24, 2013, 02:18:43 PM »
Maybe it's not just Hmong men that have no idea what love is... maybe Hmong women are just as clueless...  ;D ;D ;D


Well, I am gonna learn to be a hopeless romantic.  Time to stop denying my other half.



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #37 on: December 24, 2013, 02:28:59 PM »
When I look at magazines and see all these beautiful celebrities walking through the airport, it looks so glamorous.  Maybe tomorrow, I will also dress gorgeously for my trip home.  If I do, I will definitely take some photos to share.  I want to live each moment and experience as an adventure.



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #38 on: December 24, 2013, 02:32:04 PM »
For anyone who is feeling blue this Christmas season, just know that a little romance can do wonders for your soul.  I feel so much better now, so I am going to go and get some work done.  Wishing y'all lots of love and joy this holiday season.  May God watch over all those traveling and may all your wishes and dreams come true, even if just for a few brief moments and just a few days. 



Always,

Kat


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



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zena

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #39 on: December 24, 2013, 02:50:39 PM »
How do you like the pseudo life so far?



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #40 on: December 24, 2013, 02:57:06 PM »
I would rather be home with the family, but since I am here... trying to make the best of it.  The first month was awful.  But it's getting easier and since I started this adventure and try to think of things to do, etc... it's actually kind of nice.  I think the anticipation of the "next" adventure helps to ward off the pseudo-single life.  Maybe that is why single people spend so much money and time traveling and doing things in their free time.


The one thing that I have gotten down pat is cooking for one person.  When I did this 4 years ago, I basically starved myself b/c I couldn't adjust to cooking for one.  I think I starved the first week here too, lolz.  Meals are simple but delicious, so it's kind of cool.



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zena

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #41 on: December 24, 2013, 03:20:16 PM »
That's very brave of you to do it alone, although, naturally a part of me hopes that you keep yourself safe.  I've never gone at it alone when I traveled for work.  I always felt safe with a group of people and have always enjoyed that...althoug h once, I did go alone and was scared as heck (not work related though)...and totally forgot to enjoy, but I digress.  Do continue to share your experience and I hope you'll write a lot more because I enjoy reading.  Don't mind the photos either.

I think single people spend because they need to find something to fill in that emptiness that married or coupled people have.  I give them credit for hanging in there and doing what they can because I (we) were once there.  :)



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #42 on: December 24, 2013, 05:47:10 PM »
Moonangel,

I am always overly cautious, which is part of the reason why I haven't really ventured out too much yet.  I was talking to one of my co-workers about where to go, etc... and I asked him if it's safe, he said, "Of course, nothing is going to happen." 

I replied, "Sure, that's because you are a guy.  I am a woman and the world is a whole different place when you are a woman."  Lolz. 


Anyway, I think planning things and looking forward to them help to fill in some of the emptiness.  One thing I am so thankful for is that this is ONLY a psuedo-single life and not a real one... thus I don't have that gapping hole in me.  But it is a sort of a rude awakening of how hard it would be to meet potential partners for those who are truly single.  Walking down the street, through the malls, etc... there are thousands of people, but none of them could careless about you or are interested in knowing who you are. 

Growing up in the late 80's, early 90's, meeting people were so easy, so we tend to think that it is still just as easy, but as I move about this city, I am beginning to realize how disconnect people are now-a-days.


I was so excited to find a Hmong family living here, I called them and got a hold of the husband, he basically didn't care, etc.  He said there is another Hmong woman (married to a Vietnamese guy) living here too, but they don't connect or do anything together.   






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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #43 on: December 24, 2013, 05:48:42 PM »
I will continue to write, just b/c I am curious... lolz.  But I find that I am awfully boring and chicken... lolz.  I bored myself, so I think y'all might be bored too.  I will try to be more interesting. 


I think that it would be just as awkward and hard for someone who is truly single and trying to find their footing again.



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LadyLionness

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Re: Pseudo-Single Life
« Reply #44 on: December 24, 2013, 08:41:15 PM »
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you and your family as well, HS. 
______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ ______________ _


Update:


I thought that traveling on Christmas day would be pretty deserted so I would be able to take lots of photos.  Nope.  There were tons of people and I didn't want to look foolish, so I wasn't really able to take any pictures in Jacksonville's airport, nor in Atlanta's airport.  As I was sitting on the plane, thinking about that, I looked outside and remember that I had always wanted to capture the beauty of looking down on the clouds.

I have always imagined that this is what Heaven would look like. 








« Last Edit: January 31, 2014, 12:27:50 PM by LadyLionness »

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