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Author Topic: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!  (Read 9884 times)

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Offline Xoxo12

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Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« on: March 28, 2014, 08:17:26 PM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?



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Offline duckwingduck

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #1 on: March 28, 2014, 10:06:27 PM »
Yeah she will eventually come to accept it.  She will lower her expectation and standard.

I'm talking to a white girl right now.  She called me her boyfriend.  :)

I haven't even told anyone about it.  I know my clan are going to be disappointed if I marry a non-Hmong.  They will think I betrayed Hmong people.  If I were just an average joe working at McDonald, they probably won't care.  But they expect me to lead them and going outside of Hmong is betrayal. 

I don't know.  I hope your mom will come to accept your boyfriend.

My dad told my sister that if she date a black guy, he would disown her.  So far, he has not disowned her.




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Offline AOZ

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2014, 10:20:35 AM »
the younger OG me... was against my own children marrying other colors....

the older OG me now... realize my children are geographically disadvantaged when it comes to hmong.  so i've come to accept whoever my children chooses. 

well... they aren't dating yet so we'll see how i react when they date colors.   ;D



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Offline moonangel

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #3 on: March 29, 2014, 12:19:09 PM »
My brother's wife is Korean.  It's all good.

I love Korean food, btw.



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #4 on: March 29, 2014, 12:32:34 PM »
It's because Hmong culture is built upon love and finding that special someone...outs ide of culture...kind of means outside the realm of love to their understanding. ..

If they understand that love isn't limited to such shallow boundaries...t hey should give you their blessings.



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Offline Solemn Wind

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #5 on: March 29, 2014, 03:31:15 PM »
Yeah she will eventually come to accept it.  She will lower her expectation and standard.

I'm talking to a white girl right now.  She called me her boyfriend.  :)

I haven't even told anyone about it.  I know my clan are going to be disappointed if I marry a non-Hmong.  They will think I betrayed Hmong people.  If I were just an average joe working at McDonald, they probably won't care.  But they expect me to lead them and going outside of Hmong is betrayal. 

I don't know.  I hope your mom will come to accept your boyfriend.

My dad told my sister that if she date a black guy, he would disown her.  So far, he has not disowned her.



Please, no blacks..... ::)



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Offline MilesDaddy

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #6 on: March 29, 2014, 03:47:44 PM »
My brother's wife is Korean.  It's all good.

I love Korean food, btw.
your brother is awesome,,,,, I hate most of the Korean women I have met  from the states... Too much into Status and Brand Hoaring...Im half Korean incase anyone here didn't know. Back to the OP..... might as well live for yourself. I like that your dad accepts him. That's half the battle really.



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Offline Badkarma

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2014, 01:47:39 AM »
Love your mother, and respect her. But remember, this man you've decided to marry is one day going to be the father of your children and you're going to sleep/wake up next to him for a long time. It's your life, your mother doesn't have to like your decision, but she should respect it.

 And if she can't, then maybe more distance between you is better for you. Just see them on the big holidays and she complains why she never sees you, explain it and leave it at that. If she wants you in her life, she'll learn to accept your choice.




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Offline minorcharacter

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2014, 08:44:44 AM »
Oh no, a mother's disapproval.  It's the end of the world as we know it!



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Offline Gen. Invincible

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #9 on: April 01, 2014, 02:58:38 PM »
This is what it is..easy come easy go..ez in in ez out....when you are Hmong and you marry hmong you got to pay, crawl, and beg.to get in.....then after that you have to pay, crawl, and beg to get out...and if you can't do that then you should marry someone else.



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Offline jon_jon

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2014, 07:46:30 PM »
I think a lot of older Hmong parents in the States have not seen so many interracial marriages in the history of Hmong people before. That's why they're afraid, don't worry because your kids will most likely marry outside of the race/ethnicity. Many don't even speak Hmong at home.

Not only are we going to marry outside of our race/ethnicity, our children will not even remember what Hmong is unless they're from Laos or Thailand. I give it 10 more years and our new years will die out here in the States, less attendance each year with no real vision to consolidate and advance.

Same old stuff year after year with sky rocketing prices for food and junk you can buy at the flea markets. Burned CD's, pirated music translated into Hmong, and low-budget movies made in third world countries won't cut it anymore for our younger generations.

Hmong culture is among one of the fastest dying cultures in the world. Especially here in the US.


« Last Edit: April 02, 2014, 07:48:53 PM by jon_jon »

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Offline TheNewGuy

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #11 on: April 03, 2014, 12:32:57 AM »
I've lived in Korea for over a year as well  :D.  Those Korean girls were so awesome  ::).  I always party in university district.... all I can say was WOWOWOWOW...

But anyways... you sure you lived in Korea?  If he was indeed Korean, he will ultimately ask your parents for their blessings first to marry you.  Trust me I know, I have many Korean friends that I still talk to.  Maybe he's white wash.. just saying.



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Offline Xoxo12

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #12 on: April 04, 2014, 07:58:29 PM »
I've lived in Korea for over a year as well  :D.  Those Korean girls were so awesome  ::).  I always party in university district.... all I can say was WOWOWOWOW...

But anyways... you sure you lived in Korea?  If he was indeed Korean, he will ultimately ask your parents for their blessings first to marry you.  Trust me I know, I have many Korean friends that I still talk to.  Maybe he's white wash.. just saying.

Yes, he did ask for my parent's blessing. My mom had no choice but to agree since my dad already approved of us, and my dad is basically the head of the house so my mom had to listen to him.



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Offline Reporter

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #13 on: April 06, 2014, 02:51:19 PM »
Yes, he did ask for my parent's blessing. My mom had no choice but to agree since my dad already approved of us, and my dad is basically the head of the house so my mom had to listen to him.


That's easy when dad isn't around, right? lol

I keep telling people we need more people to marry across cultures like this. It adds much to the diversity of the world.



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Offline nightrider

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #14 on: April 07, 2014, 11:38:32 PM »
Just screw around, simple as that... Why bother the formality?

Seriously though, I once knew someone whom went against her families' wishes and married a Korean dude. Her life wasn't glamorous or happy like she'd imagined. Communication must of being hard as it isn't a natural thing between races and she's stuck with the dude. Everyday she cooks and clean, takes care of the kids, while the dude sits, drink, and play video game day after day after coming home from work; sometimes throwing a tantrum.  So I guess, everyone "wreaks what they'd sow..."


« Last Edit: April 07, 2014, 11:58:26 PM by nightrider »

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