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Author Topic: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!  (Read 21951 times)

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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #30 on: April 20, 2014, 12:54:21 AM »
I would be very surprised if you would be able to keep us posted on a few tidbits every now and then.  I would expect you to be very busy on your honeymoon.  ;)

Good luck...love can be found anywhere.  So catch it while you can.



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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #31 on: May 02, 2014, 04:25:02 PM »
Hello!
Well I am happily married now, and some things happened. At my wedding in America, my mother attended but did not speak to me much. All she did was talk to her sisters and family while giving my Korean family the stink eye while they weren't looking. I was very displeased about this, so I confronted her. She got angry and left the wedding, and I honestly was too annoyed to care. I spent my honeymoon in the Maldives and it was amazing! After that I just went back to South Korea, and I'm living with my husband in a nice cozy apartment. My sister tells me that my mother is very angry and sad, but I don't know what to do. I hope she accepts my husband soon... But I don't know.



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yuknowthat

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #32 on: May 02, 2014, 05:45:56 PM »
Just love and care for your mother as what she is... txhob tu siab... she will come around one day.. do not follow the same footsteps of hatred as she is doing..(she is hurt right now only)...nws ua li ntawv thiab koj khiav ces zoo ib yam li neb haj yam sib nruag deb.

A mother is worried to death about the life that she brought this world and many times makes them go crazy or overboard. Many may seem as controlling our life and forbidding us to do as we please. They just dont want us to not live life with full of regrets " neej khuam siab, khuam ntsws, neej ntxhov siab, etc.."  as they still think and watch our actions speaks that we will make some of the biggest mistakes in our life without being able to turn back time.



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Offline VillainousHero

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #33 on: May 02, 2014, 05:51:53 PM »
Your mom does not need to accept your husband.  As long as she accepts your decision and when you are honestly happy, she will in turn accept that you've found a good life.



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

KimchISA

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #34 on: May 22, 2014, 11:42:33 PM »
Itball changes one kids pop



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Snowdrop

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #35 on: July 22, 2014, 12:34:39 PM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?
YOur mom is a typical mother.  Like many mothers, she wants a Hmong vauv.  If you married a Hmong vauv, she will get relatives in that line from you.  The family will expand.  When you get a Korean vauv, all she gets is  you and the vauv.  No expand family.  Hmong parents prefer Hmong vauv more because we all share similar traditions, we have higher toleration toward the things we do. 

I would be very upset too if my daughter marries outside of the Hmong race. 



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ziggie

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #36 on: February 01, 2015, 08:26:12 AM »
Kids?



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MovKuam

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #37 on: February 20, 2015, 02:12:46 PM »
make a moving would ya!  ;D



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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #38 on: February 26, 2015, 12:29:59 AM »
Hello!
Well I am happily married now, and some things happened. At my wedding in America, my mother attended but did not speak to me much. All she did was talk to her sisters and family while giving my Korean family the stink eye while they weren't looking. I was very displeased about this, so I confronted her. She got angry and left the wedding, and I honestly was too annoyed to care. I spent my honeymoon in the Maldives and it was amazing! After that I just went back to South Korea, and I'm living with my husband in a nice cozy apartment. My sister tells me that my mother is very angry and sad, but I don't know what to do. I hope she accepts my husband soon... But I don't know.

You've done nothing wrong, and congratulation . Your mom needs to realize that it's your life and as long as you are happy, she should be happy for you.

Hate to say it but many Hmong are still very backward like backward White racists that think White must only marry White.



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #39 on: February 26, 2015, 01:01:41 PM »
It looks like you're looking for encouragement and some justification for your position.

Have you ever read the Joy Luck Club.

I don't know why I just asked that but I did. The korean guy wants you to pay half of his ice cream? Now what kind of man does that? Correct me if I'm wrong, but then the other korean guy is a gigalow. The only one that worked was the girl who remarried a Chinese guy after divorcing the korean guy who wants everything split down the middle.

I think your mom is shocked with your choice because she didn't have a say in it. You left your parents with no words because you were away from them for a period of time to only come back engaged to a korean man? Maybe their intention of letting you go teach abroad wasn't for the purpose of marrying you off into a korean family.

In other news if you find a Song Hye Kyo look-alike please msg me. Thanks ahead.

AJA FIGHTING  8)

I find the people in these type of situations are just as stubborn as their parents.  ::) For all their sake, hopefully the sh.it never hits the ceiling fan where they actually have to ask favors from each other.  :2funny: Otherwise, some egos are going to be heavily bruised.  ;D

The thing is, I highly value my parents. They have been my backbone growing up and would never misguide me. I can't picture myself marrying somebody that they simply don't approve. I don't envision living a life where there is that kind of tension. Life is only hard because people make it so. It is not that difficult to find a spouse that I love and that my parents approve. Makes for pleasant family gatherings.  O0



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r3b1rth

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #40 on: June 12, 2016, 04:42:48 PM »
Even though your mother is not being understanding (and we all know how crazy Hmong mom's can be) she gave birth to you; she just wants the best for you. Eventually she'll come to terms with it.

Remember at the end of the day... It's YOUR life. Your decisions. Your responsibiliti es. Your happiness.



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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #41 on: June 13, 2016, 03:48:09 AM »
Even though your mother is not being understanding (and we all know how crazy Hmong mom's can be) she gave birth to you; she just wants the best for you. Eventually she'll come to terms with it.

Remember at the end of the day... It's YOUR life. Your decisions. Your responsibiliti es. Your happiness.

True.

If her mom judge the other person as unfit simply because he's non-Hmong instead of knowing for a fact that he as an individual is unfit for her daughter, she's not very wise...

That's as unwise as some Hmong parents saying things like, "he's from that clan so it won't work because hundreds of years ago, something happened between his clan and our clan"...


« Last Edit: June 13, 2016, 03:51:34 AM by theking »

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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #42 on: June 15, 2016, 06:28:09 PM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is blood. This Korean guy is not... just don't disappoint your mom when the time comes for you to crawl back to her when this Korean dude leave you. I hope you have a happy life with him... but no one can tell the future.
Just make sure it never comes down to your mom saying... " I told you so..." That would be the biggest disappointment .


« Last Edit: June 15, 2016, 06:32:38 PM by Hung_Low »

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Offline nightrider

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #43 on: June 15, 2016, 11:28:04 PM »
No updates... Life must really be going good or has taken for the worst.



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Offline TheAfterLife

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #44 on: May 18, 2017, 08:45:28 AM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is racist. PERIOD! She needs to wake up. Just tell her, "Your very un-American."



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