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Author Topic: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!  (Read 13164 times)

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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #45 on: June 13, 2016, 03:48:09 AM »
Even though your mother is not being understanding (and we all know how crazy Hmong mom's can be) she gave birth to you; she just wants the best for you. Eventually she'll come to terms with it.

Remember at the end of the day... It's YOUR life. Your decisions. Your responsibiliti es. Your happiness.

True.

If her mom judge the other person as unfit simply because he's non-Hmong instead of knowing for a fact that he as an individual is unfit for her daughter, she's not very wise...

That's as unwise as some Hmong parents saying things like, "he's from that clan so it won't work because hundreds of years ago, something happened between his clan and our clan"...


« Last Edit: June 13, 2016, 03:51:34 AM by theking »

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Offline Hung_Low

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #46 on: June 15, 2016, 06:28:09 PM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is blood. This Korean guy is not... just don't disappoint your mom when the time comes for you to crawl back to her when this Korean dude leave you. I hope you have a happy life with him... but no one can tell the future.
Just make sure it never comes down to your mom saying... " I told you so..." That would be the biggest disappointment .


« Last Edit: June 15, 2016, 06:32:38 PM by Hung_Low »

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Offline nightrider

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #47 on: June 15, 2016, 11:28:04 PM »
No updates... Life must really be going good or has taken for the worst.



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Offline TheAfterLife

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #48 on: May 18, 2017, 08:45:28 AM »
Two years ago I went to teach in South Korea. While I was there, I met an amazing guy. After a year of dating I took him to the U.S to meet my family. My dad was happy and all, but my mom was very upset. She wanted me to marry a hmong guy, and wasn't respectful to my fiance AT ALL during the visit. On our third day there, she even invited a hmong bachelor to our house to somehow seduct me, but my boyfriend must have intimidated him and the guy left quickly.
About a year later(right now) he proposed to me, and I said yes, of course. When I told everyone the news, they were all happy except my mother. She now refuses to call me her daughter and just calls me a Korean now, i don't get her problem at all. And she's all pissed that i'm introducing my younger sister to my fiance's cousin, she thinks i'm gonna transform the whole family into a korean family, and honestly I don't get the problem.
What should I do?

Your mom is racist. PERIOD! She needs to wake up. Just tell her, "Your very un-American."



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Offline Im a Guy

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #49 on: May 22, 2017, 08:10:42 AM »
as per to nightrider. update so far? Need to make a korean movie already...  ;D  ::)


« Last Edit: May 22, 2017, 08:13:28 AM by Im a Guy »

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" YOUR GOVERMENT IS SELLING YOUR CHILDREN DRUGS, AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE. YOUR OWN GOVERMENT HAS GIVEN AWAY THE POWER OF THE PEOPLE AND YOU DON'T SEEM TO CARE. WE ARE TRULY NOW A NATION OF SHEEP, AND LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. I ASSURE YOU THAT SHEEP ARE ALWAYS LED TO SLAUGHTER. "

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Offline YAX

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #50 on: May 23, 2017, 12:59:02 PM »
You marry him, but you go it alone. if and when he leaves, don't be afraid to come crawling back.  Your parents will say "told you so" but that's all they will do.  They will accept you back and forgive you for your mistakes.   O0  If it works out well and you two grow old together then your parents will eventually warm up to him.  They will when they see that he's not leaving you.



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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #51 on: May 23, 2017, 01:41:14 PM »
Sadly, many narrow minded ignorant folks still judge others by stupid reasons like skin colors, ethnic backgrounds, etc., instead of by the individual and his or her characters...e specially considering its 2017 where facts are readily available to help educate oneself..



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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #52 on: May 23, 2017, 01:44:41 PM »
Back in Laos when that Hmong girl from our village married a Laotian dude, and her dad was unsupported simply because he's not Hmong, that was pretty ignorant and short sighted already so it's even worst now in 2017 imo.



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Offline DuMa

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #53 on: May 23, 2017, 02:20:37 PM »
Hmong guy invited me to his bachalor party in vegas this year.  It is coming up during edc weekend.  The crew already booked their flights n hotel reservations.

Just to cancelled now since the couple is fighting.

Yep, she's korean that looks like hmong



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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #54 on: July 03, 2017, 12:13:33 AM »
Some people marry outside their ethnic group because that person offers something they can't find in a Hmong person. For example, there are attractive, educated, successful and wealthy Hmong singles but that doesn't mean they are attracted to you. However, maybe there is a non-Hmong with all or some of those qualities who is attracted to you. I'd say go for it! Stop waiting for the perfect, Hmong dream guy/girl.

But c'mon, if you are just going to marry some nerdy, mediocre non-Hmong then wow... it means you too fugly even for the nerdy, mediocre Hmong. No wonder you have a big chip on your shoulder and get riled up on the topic of interracial coupling.

 :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny: :2funny:




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Offline TheAfterLife

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #55 on: July 15, 2017, 03:29:36 PM »
RACIST HMONG PEOPLE. WE ARE NOT THE REDNECKS OF ASIA!

Damn these OG people. RACIST LITTLE CUUUNTS!



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Offline lov1ngth3b3ach

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #56 on: August 19, 2018, 04:11:12 PM »
Lol! And Iím the opposite, my Korean fiancťeís mom hates me. Why? Because Iím not Korean. It doesnít matter how she feels about me, itís how he handle the situation. He used to see his parents every Sunday, and every Sunday she would say horrible things about me. Because his dad is a doctor, his mom thinks Iím after their money. My parents donít have much, but my dad taught us girls to never depend on a man financially,  the best dad ever! I work hard, and will never go after someoneís money. Anyway, it got to the point where fiancee told his mom that he refuse to listen to her put me down and he will not be visiting them anymore unless she stop. Itís been over a year since he last seen his parents. His dad has no say in anything, he does whatever she say or thereís hell to pay.

She did the same to his older brother who is married to a Chinese woman. His older brother has not been in contact with his parents for over 10 years.  Just donít let your mom put your fiancťe down, it all comes down to how you handle the situation.



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Offline theking

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #57 on: August 20, 2018, 03:12:06 AM »
It's crazy how some are still so narrow minded and ignorant in this day and age. I remembered back in Laos in the 70s, a Hmong girl married a Laotian man and her parents disowned her for it. She did well with him because he truly loved her so it didn't matter much to her...

Currently, one of my female friends' mom told her that she would rather see her marry a Chinese drug dealer than a Black doctor, engineer, lawyer...

But that's how many narrow minded ignorant people operate (paint every member of a group/race/ethnic with the same brush)...:idiot2:

My mom's preference for us is find someone that will love us through thick and thin regardless of race/ethnicity/religious preferences... . O0




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Offline Believe_N_Me

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #58 on: August 27, 2018, 10:17:15 PM »
Lol! And Iím the opposite, my Korean fiancťeís mom hates me. Why? Because Iím not Korean. It doesnít matter how she feels about me, itís how he handle the situation. He used to see his parents every Sunday, and every Sunday she would say horrible things about me. Because his dad is a doctor, his mom thinks Iím after their money. My parents donít have much, but my dad taught us girls to never depend on a man financially,  the best dad ever! I work hard, and will never go after someoneís money. Anyway, it got to the point where fiancee told his mom that he refuse to listen to her put me down and he will not be visiting them anymore unless she stop. Itís been over a year since he last seen his parents. His dad has no say in anything, he does whatever she say or thereís hell to pay.

She did the same to his older brother who is married to a Chinese woman. His older brother has not been in contact with his parents for over 10 years.  Just donít let your mom put your fiancťe down, it all comes down to how you handle the situation.

I am not surprised. There is a lot of discrimination amongst Asian groups and especially against groups like the Hmong who are considered an under class.

However, I am not bothered by it at all. It's understandable that parents prefer their children marry within their own ethnic group. This is to continue traditions that preserve the racial group identity.

But at last, I don't think I could ever marry someone if it meant 10 years of not talking to my family or to my husband's. That is just too extreme and not how I want to raise a family. I want it all and if it means breaking up with a non-Hmong or a Hmong whom my parents heavily disapprove of then I would do so. There are just so many fishes in the sea to lose my family over one person.

My family and my ethnic group is still very important to me. I would never even consider dating anybody who wasn't going to fit into this picture, much less marry them.

But then again, I have never had obstacles dating Hmong men who met my criteria for marriage as well as my parents' hope for a son-in-law. Thus, I have never had to look outside the Hmong race to find a successful, educated man who was the best of both worlds: Hmong and westernized.

However, I realize this might not be as easy for my own children. Even with all the opportunities available in this country, I've noticed a wide gap between those who apply themselves vs. those who squander time. I don't want my children to end up with losers who are still living ib pab ib pawg 10-20 years later in their Hmong bubble. My husband and I are much more assimilated than our parents so having a non-Hmong son/daughter-in-law probably won't be that big of a hurdle. I'm more concerned about my children marrying non-conservative/libertarians and atheists than I am about non-Hmong. Of course, I still prefer Hmong but seeing as so many of the younger generation are so indoctrinated by leftism it is rather scary. 



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Offline lov1ngth3b3ach

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Re: Mom hates my Korean fiance?!
« Reply #59 on: August 30, 2018, 11:52:44 AM »
I am not surprised. There is a lot of discrimination amongst Asian groups and especially against groups like the Hmong who are considered an under class.

However, I am not bothered by it at all. It's understandable that parents prefer their children marry within their own ethnic group. This is to continue traditions that preserve the racial group identity.

But at last, I don't think I could ever marry someone if it meant 10 years of not talking to my family or to my husband's. That is just too extreme and not how I want to raise a family. I want it all and if it means breaking up with a non-Hmong or a Hmong whom my parents heavily disapprove of then I would do so. There are just so many fishes in the sea to lose my family over one person.

My family and my ethnic group is still very important to me. I would never even consider dating anybody who wasn't going to fit into this picture, much less marry them.

But then again, I have never had obstacles dating Hmong men who met my criteria for marriage as well as my parents' hope for a son-in-law. Thus, I have never had to look outside the Hmong race to find a successful, educated man who was the best of both worlds: Hmong and westernized.

However, I realize this might not be as easy for my own children. Even with all the opportunities available in this country, I've noticed a wide gap between those who apply themselves vs. those who squander time. I don't want my children to end up with losers who are still living ib pab ib pawg 10-20 years later in their Hmong bubble. My husband and I are much more assimilated than our parents so having a non-Hmong son/daughter-in-law probably won't be that big of a hurdle. I'm more concerned about my children marrying non-conservative/libertarians and atheists than I am about non-Hmong. Of course, I still prefer Hmong but seeing as so many of the younger generation are so indoctrinated by leftism it is rather scary.
But at last, I don't think I could ever marry someone if it meant 10 years of not talking to my family or to my husband's. That is just too extreme and not how I want to raise a family. I want it all and if it means breaking up with a non-Hmong or a Hmong whom my parents heavily disapprove of then I would do so. There are just so many fishes in the sea to lose my family over one person.


I have a mind of my own, and I choose to date whomever I please regardless of my parents disapproval. If my parents were to judge another human being based on their ethnicity or whatever it is they don't like about this person, and chooses not to be a part of my life then it's their loss. My parents are not perfect, no one is. They have no right to judge another human being or be mean to them. The only time my parents interfere in our relationship is if someone doesn't treat us right. I am lucky enough to have such great, loving, accepting, and non-judgmental parents and will never run into that situation.

My husband's parents are very judgmental and controlling. You have no idea what they are like. His mom even wrote him a check for $20K if he stops seeing me, he refused. She then threatened to take him out of the will, he told her he doesn't want her money and for her to donate everything. His mom even said our neighbor's house is a big garbage can, and we have the sweetest neighbor. They always invite us over for BBQ, look over our place whenever we travel. She calls him on a daily basis just to yell at him for no good reason, she's full of drama. If she's unhappy, she wants to whole world to be unhappy. I am sad that his parents doesn't want to be a part of our lives, but hubby said he's relieved, he's finally free.

I love my husband for standing up for me when his mom was bad mouthing me, I love my husband for giving up everything for me, I know he'll always be there for me through tough times, and put me above everyone else. Yes, there are plenty of fishes in the sea, but not everyone is willing to fight the world for you.     

My family and my ethnic group is still very important to me. I would never even consider dating anybody who wasn't going to fit into this picture, much less marry them.

My family are very important to me, but if they're in the wrong I will let them know. I will not stand around and let them be mean to someone else or judge them. No one likes to be judged. My ethnic is very important to me, and I embrace it by celebrating our awesome Hmong New Year, holding to on the Hmong clothes my mom gave me so I have something to remind me of my culture. I will always be Hmong and proud of it. Being married to a Korean guy doesn't change any of that.   

But then again, I have never had obstacles dating Hmong men who met my criteria for marriage as well as my parents' hope for a son-in-law. Thus, I have never had to look outside the Hmong race to find a successful, educated man who was the best of both worlds: Hmong and westernized.

I'm sure all Hmong women has no problem finding a successful, good Hmong guy as there are plenty out there. But I am not going to go out of my way to look for a Hmong guy when I live in places where there's not much Hmong around. I have no control over who I fall in love with. 




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