As I wonder why people always keep the friendship love and intimate love separate, I recall a few whom told me years later something. They told me it's a good thing that they never allowed me (us) to go forth into something else, was because they were really no good for me. In a way, it makes me sad, but in another way, it brings closure to things as well.
I do know at the time when I was yearning for something more, I couldn't get a mutual agreement from them at all except for the keeping friendship part. However as friends, if there's no real growth, well all things in relationship tends to wither and die. I do find the situation unfair. It was my heart that was yearning and enduring the pain. In a way, eventually I found other things to occupy my time. Probably the one thing that hurt me most, was me trying to stay available for the other person, but they were moving on in relationship with others. I just wished that they would've just said something like, "You need to move on with your life without waiting for me, cuz I'm not keeping you as a fall back ever." Thus the friendship with hope of something more would've been set in stone without a doubt that' something more will never happen. Sometimes the other person can't make those hard decision for you and you have (I had) to finally make that decision for yourself (myself) to not pursue anything further.
It just makes it too uncomfortable and too unbearable in the long term. I believe some people will have a maturation about it and they can stay as friends. However most of us, may not be able to grow beyond it, unless a closure was ascertained. If one has to kiss the other person to find out, then do it to figure it out. Probably something I myself didn't have the experience nor guts to venture forth into. More than certain, I was that things weren't going to be there for the long term. I thought about 5 yrs, 10 yrs down the road. I choose finally after some time to not stay idle with life and life goes on.
