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Author Topic: jokes, jokes, and more jokes  (Read 74855 times)

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Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #555 on: March 07, 2017, 07:58:45 AM »
 :2funny:  I admit.....agai nst my better judgment.....t hat was a good one.   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

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Offline ProudLao

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #556 on: March 30, 2017, 06:56:50 AM »
tRouBLe goes to the Doctor, worried about her boyfriend's temper.

The Doctor asks: "What's the problem?"

tRouBLe: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my boyfriend seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me."

The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that your boyfriend is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down."

Two weeks later tRouBLe comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

tRouBLe: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my boyfriend started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"

The Doctor says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."



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I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #557 on: March 31, 2017, 01:12:10 PM »
So what are you really trying to say......   ::)  :P



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline ProudLao

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #558 on: September 28, 2017, 06:46:12 AM »
The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands.

The instructor said, "Ladies, remember that exercise is good

for you. Walking is especially beneficial - strengthens the

pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just

pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surfaces,

like a grass path."

"Gentlemen, remember -- you're in this together. It wouldn't

hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience

would be good for you both."

The room suddenly became very quiet as the men absorbed this
information. After a few moments a man, name unknown,
at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand.

"Yes?" said the Instructor.

"I was just wondering: Would it be all right if she carries a golf bag?"



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I take refuge in the Buddha.
I take refuge in the dharma.
I take refuge in the sangha.

Theravada

Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #559 on: October 19, 2017, 02:10:30 PM »
So typical of men   :2funny:



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #560 on: June 19, 2019, 03:49:18 AM »
Asians have it tough in America.

You go to school and they tell everyone to use English to punch u Asians

You got to the bank and they take your money and say Fluct U Asians.

You buy anything and they hit you with Attacks Asians.

You play online games and everyone is pk pk pk..Eliminate Asians.

It's all true.  There's solid evidence to support all of this.  This Obese America loves us.  Loves to make us In Fat you Asians.

thank you thank you.



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #561 on: June 19, 2019, 10:00:40 PM »
What happens when you put Moo and ouch together?

Cow Ouch
couch!

What happens when you mix a punch to the kisser and ouch together?

Pow Ouch
Pouch!

What happens when you get an ouch and it grows bigger and bigger?

Grow Ouch
Grouch!

What happens when your ouch starts to slow down?
Slow Ouch
Slouch!


« Last Edit: July 08, 2019, 05:16:08 AM by VillainousHero »

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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #562 on: April 12, 2020, 01:41:13 PM »
bar joke: Mayans, Inca's, Aztecs...

History teaches us why these great civilizations went extincted...Me n were only in power in the last 2000+ years. Before that, women ruled as goddesses of fertility for like 200,000 years...yet.

May Ends
I Can'ts
Ass Tights

They were all destined to fail.

Imagine if they were.

My Ins
In Cans
Tight Asses

Women, they would still be in power today...LOL


« Last Edit: April 12, 2020, 03:40:28 PM by VillainousHero »

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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline tRouBLe

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #563 on: April 14, 2020, 07:46:40 PM »
Thanks for sharing, VH.   ;D



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Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are. ~ John Wooden

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #564 on: April 18, 2020, 12:53:34 PM »
He - How I got my name Justin Credible. I was named after my three uncles. Justin, Grady, and Bill . You've met them.

She - How I got my name Kimpossible was that I was named after my aunts.

He - I met both of your aunts. Kim and Bille, Bille was the cat lady aunt. So that how it was Kim Pussy Bille.

She - No...You've met my Korean aunt Kim and my English aunt Bille was her nickname for Sybil. You haven't met my Hmong aunt Pa.  Kim Pa Sybil.



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #565 on: April 24, 2020, 05:22:48 AM »
Obviously Obliviously
Obliviously Obviously


Me: We Men are obliviously...
She: Obviously
Me: No...oblivious ly
She: Women Know...obvious ly.




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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #566 on: December 16, 2021, 11:05:37 PM »
Only for ice fishing men.

Two guys were ice fishing.  The game warden came up to them to check for fishing licenses.  One guy drops his rod and takes off running.  The game warden started to chase him down.  He ran and ran and ran all the way to the end of the lake and stops to catch his breath. 

The game warden finally catches up to him.  Says, "let me see your fishing license." 

The guy reaches into his wallet and pulls out a fishing license. 

The game warden asks, "Why did you take off running if you have a valid fishing license?"

**********************
1. I felt like running suddenly.
2. I forgot I had a valid license in my wallet and only remember it just know.
3. Cuz my friend back there ain't got a fishing license.
**********************

What do you think the real answer is?  ;D :D ;D



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

Offline VillainousHero

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Re: jokes, jokes, and more jokes
« Reply #567 on: December 17, 2021, 03:05:21 AM »
Only between a doctor and ....

Man is in the delivery room.  His wife just finished giving birth.

After the the delivery the man pulls the doc aside and asks the doctor this question privately.

"Excuse me doc, but how soon do you think we can have sex?"

The doctor replied, "Give me 10 minutes to change and we can go into my van in the parking lot."

 ;D ;D ;D



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The real villain is looking at you.  The last hero was just not true.  If everything works out in the end.  It's because all things make amends.

 

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