jokes, jokes, and more jokes

[proudlao]

Lame...just like yourself lame lai lai 

T: Knock Knock
P: Who's there
T: Me
P: Me, who?
T: New me
P: Lame 

[tRouBLe]

Talk about LAMER.   

[proudlao]

You are still copying me 

[tRouBLe]

Copying is what you make of it.  It's copying to you but a response from me.      

[proudlao]

You do a lot of BLAH BLAH but it means the same thing. 

[tRouBLe]

Seems like you understand a lot of that so called "blah blah."   

[tRouBLe]

After much convincing from me, PL finally agreed to call his wife to sing her happy birthday. It was only after he finished singing that the voice at the other end of the line informed him that it was the wrong number.

“Oh I’m sorry” he said, embarrassed.

“It’s ok," the voice said, “you can use all of the practice you can get!”


 

[proudlao]

LMAO 

 

[tRouBLe]

Gotcha!      I know, that was a good one.     

[lilly]

Two girls walk into a bar.  The bartender asked, "What can I get you two lovely ladies?"  The first girl says, "I'll have a cherry bomb."  The second girl says, "I'll have his key.  The one with the red label." 

Note: I JUST MADE THIS UP.  Hope you enjoyed it.  -Lilly

[tRouBLe]

Thanks, Lilly, for sharing.   

[tRouBLe]

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?"

The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?"

The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"

The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."

 

[tRouBLe]

Mr. and Mrs. Smith had two daughters. One was named Mind Your Own Business & the other was named Trouble. One day the two girls decided to play hide and seek. Trouble hid while Mind Your Own Business counted to one hundred. Mind Your Own Business began looking for her sister behind garbage cans and bushes. Then she started looking in and under cars until a policeman approached her and asked, "What are you doing?" "Playing a game," the girl replied. "What is your name?" the officer questioned. "Mind Your Own Business," she answered. Furious the policeman inquired, "Are you looking for trouble?!" The girl replied, "Why, yes."   

[tRouBLe]

A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot. The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000."

The idiot says, "Okay."

The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?"

The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5. The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"

The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5000. The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"

The idiot hands over $5.

 

[tRouBLe]

My friend <insert name> thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.  Hahaha.