jokes, jokes, and more jokes

[Giggles_Shyly]

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
 A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

This is TRUE thou, why is it thatmen cover for men and women don't

[Giggles_Shyly]

Two campers are hiking in the woods when one is bitten on the rear end by a rattlesnake. "I’ll go into town for a doctor," the other says. He runs ten miles to a small town and finds the town’s only doctor, who is delivering a baby. "I can’t leave," the doctor says. ‘But here’s what to do. Take a knife, cut a little X where the bite is, suck out the poison and spit it on the ground." The guy ruins back to his friend, who is in agony. ‘What did the doctor say?" the victim asks. "He says you’re gonna die."


HAHAHAHAHA, I am still laughing!!!

[Giggles_Shyly]

What only goes up but never goes down?

What runs continously without stopping ever?

[tRouBLe]

GS, those are some funny jokes.   

[VillainousHero]

A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
 A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.

This is TRUE thou, why is it thatmen cover for men and women don't

Same ten best women friends.  Wife found a new friend.  Husband just merely went to sleep with all ten.  The last two were in the same bed with the husband.

[Giggles_Shyly]

My wife was dying. I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice, "Theres something i must confess."
 "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright."
"No i must die in peace. I had s*x with your brother, your best friend, his best friend and your father!"
 "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!!"

[VillainousHero]

These jokes are getting a bit morbid...

[Giggles_Shyly]

LOL

[tRouBLe]

My husband was dying. I was by his bedside. He said in a tired voice, "Theres something i must confess."
 "Shhh" I said, "theres nothing to confess. Everythings alright."
"No i must die in peace. I had s*x with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"
 "I know," I whispered "Thats why i posion you, now close your eyes!!"

You should have changed it to that.   

[Giggles_Shyly]

LOL Trouble

[Giggles_Shyly]

This one is funny I thought:

14 Signs Your Online Relationship Isn't Working Out

14) You discover that "Chesty McBust" isn't her real name, and she's dialing in from Langley, VA.

13) You: Large, hairy man. Your online girlfriend: Large, hairy man.

12) Her postmaster rejects your e-mail not as "undeliverable" but as "unlikely to get you anywhere."

11) After months of shared experiences and emotional investments, she attacks you in the Mines of Quarn with a Vorpal Sword when she learns you're worth 45,000 points.

10) "Returned mail: User unknown and never wants to hear from you again."

9) Your cyber-lover is just too busy editing that silly little Top 5 List.

Getting perhaps a bit too comfortable, she lets a reference to cutting her chin shaving slip by.

7) You discover that she has been cutting and pasting her orgasms.

6) You can barely make out your S. L.'s face in the JPEG she sent because she's obscured by her 25 cats.

5) He claims to be the richest man in the world, but his GIF looks like some geek who works for a software company.

4) Since her first e-mail, Make.Money.Fas [email protected] has become cold and distant.

3) She's suddenly changed her address to [email protected]

2) Ken Starr launches an investigation into your relationship with the mysterious "[email protected]"

1) In an ironic twist of fate, you discover that the object of your affection is a curvaceous 18 year old, rather than the geeky 14 year old boy she'd pretended to be.

[tRouBLe]

A man's wife had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet he had stayed by her bedside every single day. One day, when she came to, she motioned for him to come nearer. As he sat by her, she whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?" "What dear?" he asked gently, smiling as his heart began to fill with warmth. ”I think you're bad luck," she replied.   

[Giggles_Shyly]

  that one is funny!!!

[tRouBLe]

that one is funny!!!

I know.  Every time I read/hear it, it's still funny.   

[tRouBLe]

PL married and had 13 children. When his wife died, he married again and had 7 more children. Again, his wife died so PL remarried and this time had 5 more children. Alas, he finally died. Standing before his coffin, the preacher prayed for him. He thanked the Lord for this very loving man and said, "Lord, they're finally together." One mourner leaned over and quietly asked his friend, "Do you think he means his first, second or third wife?" The friend replied, "I think he meant his legs."