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Author Topic: How to "thank you" and "reply" when receiving/giving money to newly weds ...  (Read 8975 times)

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chidorix0x

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(I was inspired by Cal-kid's and Snowdrop's discussion about how to "thank" people at a "khi tes" ceremony, so I decided to put this together for you all.  That is how to say "thank you" to someone who gives you $money$ for your newly wed son, or daughter, and how to "reply" if you are the one giving the monetary gift.  I want to first, make it clear that this cash gift is not "phij cuam", as that traditionally comes directly from the parent of the bride, though nowadays they do call it one and the same thing, and make it all inclusive.  Additionally, the custom of giving $monetary$ gifts (cash) to a newly wed by family, relatives, and friends (loved ones), is in fact a Western inception.  When, where, and by whom did this " adopted custom" start in America, I do not know.  What I do know (believe) is that this is very recent, only an adopted/incorporated norm, probably less than 5-10 years ago.  Prior to that time, and in SE Asia (even if you attend a Hmong wedding there today -- though some have adopted it), it is/was practically nonexistent.  Point is, this is not a traditional Hmong wedding custom, and is a Western origination/adoption.  Lastly, this is not the same as "giving money at a funeral", though it may seem like it, and does borrow from that same custom/practice.  The spoken words though are not (cannot be) the same.  It can/could be offensive to some/most folks if spoken in those (funeral) terms.)

I will give two examples:  (Most/all US-Hmong, non-traditionalists, just say, "Thank you.", and, "You're welcome."  Cultured traditional US-Hmong typically say this, below.)

RecipientA: (You, or the individual receiving the money and saying "thanks.) 
     "Ua tsaug nawb!  Hnub no tub <insert son's name> loj hlob los puv cev, nws thiaj yuav poj yuav se.  Tub <insert name> loj hlob los puv txha, nws lub neej thiaj li yuav tsa.  Koj <insert giver's name> koj tsis cia li, koj hlub tshua tus me nyuam, tej tub tej ki, tuaj muab ib nploog paj ib nploog ntawv, tuaj pab txhawb nqa tus tub tus nyab lub neej tsis muaj ib yam yuav pauv tau, ua koj li tsaug.  Nyob li ob tug me nyuam, tus tub tus nyab, yog nkawd txawj ua lub neej ces yuav nco koj <insert giver's name> tus txiaj tus ntsig laud.  Yog tus tub tus nyab, nkawd tsis txawj ua lub neej ces tseem yuav lauj nej cov niam cov txiv xwb laub.  Ua koj tsawg nawb mog."  (Ces "txaum yim" rau tus neeg.)

GiverA:  (You, the one giving the money replies.)
     "Txhob ua tsaug mog!  Hnub no tub <insert groom's name> loj hlob los puv cev, nws thiaj yuav poj yuav se.  Nws loj hlob los puv txha, lub neej nws thiaj yuav tsa.  Nyob li kuv <insert relationship, or name> yog kuv txawj ua lub neej ces yuav tuaj pab txhawb ob tug me nyuam kom muaj neej zoo xws teb xws chaws.  Kuv ua lub neej tsis xws teb xws chaws, rau suab pluag, twb pab tsis tau qhov tsim nyog raug ntsej raug muag los txhob tu siab mog.  Txhob ua tsaug laud, nkim lus tsaug xwb mog."  (Ces "txais yim".)

RecipientB:
     "Ua tsaug nawb mog koj <insert giver's name/relationship>!  Hnub no peb plaj tshoob ncig los poob, kev kos ncig los txog.  Koj tsis cia li koj tseem npaj tuaj muab tau ib nploog paj ib nploog ntawv los txhawb nqa tus tub tus nyab lub neej kom zoo xws teb xws chaws laud mog.  Yog ob tug me nyuam txawj ua lub neej ces nkawd yuav nco koj tus txiaj tus ntsig.  Yog nkawd tsis txawj ua lub neej ces tseem yuav luaj nej cov ua niam ua txiv xwb laud.  Ua koj li tsaug nawb."  (Ces "txaum yim" rau tus neeg.)

GiverB:
     "Tsis txhob ua tsaug mog!  Hnub no nej plaj tshoob ncig los poob, kev kos ncig los txog.  Yog kuv <insert name/relationship> txawj ua lub neej ces yuav tuaj pab txhawb ob tug me nyuam, tus tub tus nyab, lub neej kom zoo xws teb xws chaws laud.  Kuv ua lub neej tsis xws teb xws chaws, pab tsis tau ob tug me nyuam, muab qhov tsis raug ntsej raug muag los txhob tu siab mog.  Txhob ua tsaug, nkim lus tsaug xwb laud." (Ces "txais yim".)

NOTE, this adopted (newly incepted) Hmong wedding practice -- giving monetary gift (cash) and giving thanks -- was traditionally not the norm, thus the verbiage (mine, including all others') is and are new constructs, but acceptable, and is the "norm" to a large degree, overall.  As long as the verbiage is relevant and applicable to the wedding, then it is fine.  Avoid using non-related verbiage that is often found/said in a "funeral" setting.  For instance, like "yeeb vim", "tshav ntuj", "tag", and "kaj ntug tag kis/lwm hnub", and the likes etc. etc..  They are somewhat/mostly inappropriate, and could be offensive.




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NeejYagHawj

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good job proud of you....too bad water leaks everywhere...

you newly created words already tells me you're a moron...so please go laugh at yourself.  but if you want to talk about it, then lets  have a little word.



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chidorix0x

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/\/\  ...  kekeke  ...   :2funny:

It is never too late to "thank me" afterwards, when you have liberally/blindly used this knowledge  (to impress your Hmong/Ha'Mung peers/elders) knowing full well you have been schooled  ...  KEKEKE ...   >:D/ O0



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NeejYagHawj

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my point exactly...wate r leaks everywhere.

an "at least" thousand year old tradition...an d you changed it because you thought it was "better" to change the words?  you're either not too bright or you don't really knwo the tradition and words.  either way, water leaks everywhere.  so take the time to laugh..it may do  you good.



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chidorix0x

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...  kekeke  ...   :2funny:

There is/are obvious envy and jealousy in your rhetoric, because you have been schooled and inspired by this new found abridged custom/culture  ...  KEKEKE  ...   >:D/ 8)

We all know you have embraced and will use this information to impress your peers/OGs at the first opportunity.  No thanks needed  ...  kekeke ...   O0



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NeejYagHawj

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schooled?  it is nice (and i do hope you keep that positive attitude) to imagine things...but the fact of the matter is, only those who do not know would "change" to new ways.  lack of understanding will cause people to do such a thing...simila r to misinformed mong usually convert to christainity.


« Last Edit: November 30, 2015, 10:33:54 AM by NeejYagHawj »

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NeejYagHawj

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anonymous...

there are 3 types of ua tsaug in weddings.  the words are different for each type.

1.  ua tsaug cov ua haujlwm (xwS li mej koob, tshwj kab, etc).  temsis cov no ces ua tsaug thaum xaus thaum "tso tub yug" xwb.  temsis at the beginning, koj "txhij tub yug" ces koj thov lawd xwb. 
2.  UA TSAUG nyiaj li koj asked...qhov no, ces koj ua tsaug at the moment they give you money.  however, the big difference is, you do not pe during ua tsaug nyiaj at weddings.
3.  ua tsaug dag zog, along with ua tsaug nyiaj (again) at the end of the wedding.  this is different from ua tsaug of money during the wedding.  however, zaum no koj tau pe lawm, just like any other ua tsaug.

the problem with "txias lus" or "change lus" as chidorix said yeej zoo kawg.  temsis if you really udnerstand the tradition, then it seems those "changed" words do not apply at all.  sure they sound all nice and pretty, but its almost like a nauseaus feeling when listening to those words.  my advice is do not change them.  a 5000 year old tradition is not worth changing due to some misinformed information.

keep in mind, there are many many types of "ua tsaug" such as "neeb, tshoob, plig, tuag, dag zog, nyiaj, respect, nyuj dab, npua dab, etc.."  most of the "change words" i heard are pretty much useless and pretty an embelliishment to something that is to the point and truthful.

consider "txawj ua neej ces, yuav ncoj txiaj ntsig, tsi txawj ua neej los yuav ev koj txiaj ntsig mus ib txhiab ib txhis.."  if you read these words carefully, it is almost an embarrasement to use them...simply because ITS A BIG LIE....and the meaning of the ritual is turned 180 degree into something else.  my advice is, go and ask people who are above 70 years old ()those who know the tradition well) and you should be able to get it right.

most of the socalled tradition-informed people in here who claimed to know are pretty much idiots...sure they know "tswvyim" and they are good with words...but they always miss the point.



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chidorix0x

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/\/\  ...  kekeke  ...   :2funny:

The real/only "idiots" are posers ( :idiot2:) who DO NOT know the facts, customs, and culture themselves intimately; thus always having to resort to na´ve, ignorant, and unfounded claims/remarks such as:  "  ...  my advice is, go and ask people who are above 70 years old ()those who know the tradition well) and you should be able to get it right. ... "  ...  KEKEKE  ...   >:D/ ::)

Foremost, as of 2015, here in the USA/West, there is arguably less than 5% (more like 2-3%) of the entire USA/West Hmong population in their 70s, or older.  Of that 5% (2-3%), 0.90% most likely knows NADDA (nothing) definitive about Hmong culture, practices, and tradition -- especially the subject matter in discussion.  (I have personally come across and know Hmong elders, from SEAsia and/or US-born, in their 40s, 50s, 60s, and yes 70s who know absolutely NOTHING (much like the lot of you HA'Mung) about Hmong culture, customs, rituals, ceremonies, and rites etc. intimately, except hearsay and sideline observation.  Why do you "idiots" suppose that " 9 out of 10 times "; they, or your family/uncles/relatives, always SEEK OUT and GO ASK "Hmong Traditional experts/trained individuals" to help, aid, and carry out these Hmong-centric culture/custom based services on and for their behalf.  DUH!)

As for your "BS", about "txias lus"/"change lus", being useless, an embellishment, and an embarrassment, or whatever nonsense you are smoking in your crack-pipe, it just goes to further prove how little (arguably NOTHING ) that you know definitively about Hmong culture/practices, and specifically the WORDS (or kev cai Ua Tsaug) used in any/all of these rites/ceremonies.  Ib tug Txiv Neej Hmoob, tsis hais tus laus los hluas, uas yog neeg paub tab paub txog Hmoob Kev Cai los sis Kab Lis Kev Cai yeej paub meej meej tias cov Lus Ua Tsaug los sis Lus Hais yeej tsis tsuas muaj Tib Txog los Ib Txoj hais xwb es thiaj li yog qhov tseeb qhov yog yog.  (Examp:  Khi Tes -- there is over 100s of way of saying it, in Hmong, not your stOOpid HA'Mung/English nonsense.  No one way is WRONG, or perfect.)  Ua Tsaug los sis Lus Hais nyob ntawm koj kawm los ntawm koj tus Kwm (Teacher/Master) thiab koj txawj pim kom raws/yog lub caij (situation/ceremony/occasion) ntawd xwb.  NONE of it is written in Stone/Law -- tsuas kom yog LUS -- as I have already explained/noted in the Original Post.  Ua tsaug  ...  KEKEKE  ...   >:D

(Only an "idiot" would not comprehend this basic elementary FACT about and regarding Hmong culture, customs, and practices.  Namely, how to speak properly/respectfully and/or give "thanks"/"ua tsaug"  ...  kekeke  ...   8))



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NeejYagHawj

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looks like someone's wavelength is out of tune...as well as amplitude being too weak....moron. ..you're better off saying "peb tuag nej tuaj, nej tuag peb tuaj"



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chidorix0x

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...  kekeke  ...   :2funny:

An oxymoron ( :idiot2:) at its very finest  ...  KEKEKE ...   >:D



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NeejYagHawj

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so hwo does it feel to be dum?



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yuknowthat

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Ua CHow! Chi O0



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chidorix0x

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Ua CHow! Chi O0

Cheese oar lee cha, yard kay shi clear shi pa shue  ...  kekeke  ...   8)



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Offline Dok_Champa

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chido, koj kuj sau ntawv "tos taub" thiab thaum koj tsis hais txog "HA'Mung, Ha'idiot, Ha'primitive, Ha'nada, etc.."



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Offline techy

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Helpful. Thanks for posting this. I'd advocate putting this into one of those useful references.



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